I went to an old friend out of town. It was in summer. My girlfriend was married at the time, and my husband was not at home. I come, so we sat down, wiped and decided to go swim in the river. The place was crowded, and I had no swimsuit. I had to swim in trousers. I took a bath, put my pants on my naked body, and put my wet trousers in a plastic bag. We went home, sat a few more hours, and I left for myself. I forgot her wet trousers. A friend calls me in a couple of weeks and says, “Dima, I’m terrified here.

I am her: what is it?

She: My husband, your cowards found. I took them out of the bag when we returned from the river, put them in the washing machine, and then took them out and dried them with other things. And, of course, machinefully put her husband in a box, to his cowards. He took care of the clean, put on yours, and said to me, These are not my cowards, Whose cowards are they? At first I tried to convince him that they were his cowards, but when he began to hysterize, I admitted that they were your cowards. That you left them. I was swimming in them and they were wet... But, do you know what is most important?

What is? I ask, I have already started to roast at this moment.

“He doesn’t believe me,” a friend replied. She cries herself.

This is such a story. My girlfriend and my husband divorced very soon, and I once said, “Pechkin, shit, you destroyed my marriage by your carelessness. In my own philosophical manner, I answered that it is impossible to destroy what was not the whole. He laughed badly.

History of ZH:



I went to work one morning, standing at the tram stop, waiting. A guy approaches me and starts talking to me as if we’ve known each other for a hundred years. I ignored it for a while, and then my tram came. Here the most interesting thing begins! I’m on the train, but the guy doesn’t let me go. He grabbed his sleeve and said, “Ira! I can’t get rid of it!” Well, first of all, I’m not an Ira ever, and in general... the first time I see this type. In fact, I turned away from him. Only 40 minutes later they managed to get to the subway (with him together), another 40 minutes went in the subway. I’ve started out a little bit, and everybody is riding around – like “sweet defending...” Well, in the subway he was with me, of course, all the way about our unfortunate love story, which I (i.e. Ira) destroyed with my dull outputs. I (which is not IRA) has already fallen out of reality at that moment.) In the end, he left me for a stop before the one I needed, announcing to the whole car that I was fucking with everybody, a-t-ta! The passengers stared at me, and this was the end of this wonderful journey.

from ZH



Once long ago in the first grade, I was playing some kind of online toy, it seems Ultimate. And I met on the forum with a girl, an adult (at least 10 years old), with a child, in divorce. And we met once, we drank a cup with her and her brother, and we separated. Time has passed. She calls me, and I go out with other shit, telling her with whom, and she calls us for a visit. Well we came, her brother-in-law met us, sat down and drank a beer, and decided to stay with her. I went to sleep in the kitchen. After a while, she is painted in the door, she says that the child is crying, everyone's cheek will be restored, I will knock him in the kitchen and leave, or the brother will mourn. In the end, she deceived me, an innocent and senseless child. The next day, while her brother was taking me home, I talked to him that his sister was a strange girl, but funny. To which he tells me that she was never his sister, but the most natural WOMAN and showed the ring. When I asked him how he treats her outbreaks, he replied that he doesn’t care, most importantly she doesn’t cheat him. I was silent, but I thought about how she didn’t betray him in the kitchen when he slept behind the wall.



Great was the experience. I remember how the consciousness of a 17-year-old boy was deformed. When I was lying on the floor, in the kitchen, a woman who was already an adult, breathed out and said, "I feel a huge potential in you."

Metal-srach in the group "Lie of publications of VK"

Graincor is such a bad metal.
Kids metal is such a bad treasure.
Thrash is such a bad heavy metal.
Heavy is such a bad rock.
Rock is a bad blues.
Blues is such a bad jazz.
Jazz is such a bad classic.
Classic is such a good grindcore.

We sat in the company (all with their couples) and had a conversation on the topic of "who in the house is the owner". My friend’s boyfriend says: "And with us I decide everything, I’m the chief. Oh so sweet? It is"

xxx: she says when I have a break with school or a cursor, she will come and cook us soup xd
I can cook myself.
You will not dispute my mother.
You know how to cook soup?
YYY : of course. to cook ragi, to smoke vegetables and meat, to make omelets, 5-6 dishes of potatoes, meat and vegetables, to baking cakes, to make cocktails and glint wines, to make pizza, to cook shrimp, to roast fish and meat, to make cakes and baking and more...
XXX: O_o
Not a man, but a dream.
You will cook everything.
XXX: I go to work.
yyy: as well as smoothing, washing, cleaning, washing the floor, twisting, breaking, repairing, going to work, for food and other things.
XXX: Do you want me?
Fuck with whom?
xxx all by myself :)
yyy : :-/

All of us are talking about the Great Parade of Planets...from the sun to the center of the galaxy where there is a terrible black hole.
And all the planets will become so evenly in a row, ah...
I am afraid of myself (
And nothing that beyond the solar system we know far from all the planets? That the most modern methods of detection of planets allow to find only healthy planets influencing the orbit of their stars by gravity? So who and how could calculate the orbits of planets that we don’t even see?! to
You are stupid! The Mayan shamans had their methods!
zzz: hemp and mushrooms?

My friend has a big hole. I watched Harry Potter in a drunk state. was impressed. According to the story of his wife then about an hour ran around the apartment for his wife with a sushi stick and casted two spells:
1st Oral to wife Expeleriamus!
2nd He walked his stick to his side and wildly shouted "Sorry!!!and "

xxx: So I thought about it, but if I hang up the tank to the ceiling, many will suspect it.

In Stuttgart, in the Porsche Museum, a non-epic sports car hangs on the ceiling. And next to the inscription: "According to the pressure force theory, when reaching 321 km / h this Porsche 956 can drive on the ceiling."
It's all about smart inscriptions - write something about secret military suction =)

HHH: Capec... Gave Igor a note name... So embarrassed before the general now...
WOW: What is it?and :)
Fuck, I’ll give that troll! Today I took his notebook from him, and I went to work without inclusion... I go in, I meet with the general... Well he asked, say, how things are there, I say – let’s show you, I have everything on the note...
I am looking forward to :) :)
I go in, I open the book, he wakes up and begins to publish sounds from the best German films in the entire general cabinet, I log in... And there is something open in the player! The chief so rattled and added: "you would have rested what... personal life would have settled".

This country is called Honduras.
The company was not named. The word had to be.

I was in three interviews. And the conversation in all about the same: in the vacancy costs ZP 30,000 rubles, but we can offer 25,000 rubles, white only 12,000 rubles. The vacation will be 3 weeks a year, not 4, but in the contract will be 4. It will be delayed, but no one will pay for it. Working day from 9:00 to 18:00, but the director comes at 8:00, so it is better to come at 8:30.
I wanted to ask if I should be able to collect sugar cane and know the song of the Negroes from Rabbi Isaura.

Comment on the lifehack post "And which iPhone app would you call the coolest for yourself this year?":
and Android

Go to the book site before going to bed from the laptop to read something. It ranks the top 20 books, on the pen place of Kamasutra, on the second - One Hundred Years of Solitude. It doesn’t seem to be a very good experience with the people of Kamasutra :)

XXX: And let these high school students continue to think that Thrash has a husband.
Yyy: Do you think she lived in the sins of children? and :)
Zzzz : of course! from the carrier.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

from ZH:
Grelectric: Children in the middle of the 21st century will no longer scream from the pot: “Mommy, I’ve cracked!”

Stop the quarrels about homework. No need to argue. You just need to respect the right of others to rest, and take care of each other. You live with a human being, not a robot, remember this. When a man, unable to withstand the reminders of a running crane or a rushing stalk, begins to quietly mate, and says, “I, after all, do not have to be a sanitary technician (slipper, etc.).And " he is right. is right. And it is easier and quieter not to persuade him, getting more and more annoying, but immediately call the master. But the same way a woman has the right to say, “Dear man, I am not a washer, I am not a cook, I am not a cleaner – let’s hire a housewife.” She will also be right. Is it incomparable? Do you have such expenses in your pocket? True, not every family can afford such luxury - a housewife is expensive. And now think about why the sanitary services you need every five years and the services of a housekeeper are valued so differently. Maybe because she has a lot of work, and she does it much more often? Compare what load, in addition to the main work, your wife carries on a daily basis, and how often you have to do so. The "man" work for himself.
P.S I know there are a lot of men who at least sometimes help wives - no claims to you. We appreciate and love you. If you're one of them, don't miss it just out of male solidarity - remember how many of you have familiar loungers and gamers.

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My mom doesn’t let me.
XXX Why? Do you have a tradition of celebrating the end of the world in a family circle?

I loved her, scratched my teeth in photoshop, painted acne! She has changed me!!! to

Lawyers are pleased, lawyers are pleased