"It is time for us to go out urgently!", the wife said, sitting at the table, there is a borst.

Dialogue in the library:

Do you have books about paranoia?

Right behind your back!

I went to the pharmacy. I, husband and middle son (7 years old). I buy contraceptive pills. My son is interested:

What are these pills? Are you sick? Why are they to you? What are they then?

- These are children's pills, - I can't stand it and "cut the truth-mother."

My son is scared:

The new ones or the old ones?

But in our family, as - nothing happened yet, and the culprit is already known.

Do you want to become an oligarch? Try it and don’t sit down.

As a child, they played hiding in the yard. They searched for a long time but could not find it. And then it turned out that he went home without saying goodbye, and moved the next day. I have not seen him for 10 years.

Don’t try to find the correct answer to your wife’s question, “Where are you, fucking, before 5 in the morning?” There is no correct answer.

I go in the elevator. 12 floor house with zero floor. Button 14 from 0 to 12. One in excess. The children near her with a marker drew the arrow up and signed "RAY".

The tram drivers are insidious and clever, never trust the tram drivers. You are rushing on a boat, you have time to hide at the stop from the rain, and the app promises that your tram in 4 minutes and will take you to your stop without transfers, registration and SMS. And there is a terrible rain on the street and you believe the tram driver and wait for him. Four minutes passed and he was gone. But you don’t give up and still wait and hope. And 10 minutes later he comes and you forgive him for being late, because he’s a tram driver here and it’s raining on the street. But it turns out that he is not going to take you to the desired stop, because he is lazy, but he is a tramman and is already here, and it rains on the street. And you forgive him for his shortened route and think of crossing the road. And it seems that everything is fine, but after 3-4 stops the tram stops and shuts everyone under the rain, because on the road the tree and the tram can not get around it. And since there is nothing to do with the tree, you go out in the rain and ride on a self-driving car back these 3-4 stops, because the tramman has landed everyone so that the subway is faster to get back on the road. And here you ride under the rain and get angry at the tram, and the lost 30 minutes, and the used trip, but in the depths of your soul you understand that tomorrow you will still stand at the stop and wait until the last and hope for the tram, which will take you to your stop without transfer, registration and SMS.

Talk about stupid men’s jokes.

Thank God, my husband keeps my nerves.
But here colleagues, like all creative people, are rare...
I remember being the third child pregnant, bought my son on sale a spider that jumps if you press such a mini-pearl. brought to the editorial. Not specifically, I just came in and showed it. Destroyed the people. One took and fled.
Half an hour later, the second (young) rushes, throws before me and waits for a reaction. I say very calmly:
First, it is mine. Second, if it were NOT mine, would you really want to see a woman give birth? I have three days left!
This is where the man really fell ill!

A bad inheritance is when you are removed from a will.

The morning in the barracks predicted nothing fun - divorce, political occupation.
The order was broken by the captain himself when he entered and whispered:
Build a company!
He was clearly not in spirit.

The course of the young fighter was completed and there was a sorting - who to go.
Suffering, the rotting looked at the personal composition.
The sports row is in the regiment. Whoever has a sports discharge is out of order!

The crew trembled and three came out, although there were clearly more secret athletes.
I also went out myself, I don’t know why, the devil probably went out.
The captain looked evaluatively - the two fighters did not cause doubts, but decided to clarify about me:
The boxer?
Jumping with the 6th, 1st class!
Suddenly I got rid of it, so I suddenly wanted to go to the sports roulette.

It was registered immediately, not even in the personal affairs for some reason.
The white fox suddenly stumbled in the form of a division spartakiad.
And it should have happened that the jumps with six were in the program.
They commanded there, and I have to admit, I am a chess player and I do not know the sixth at all.
The path to retreat has been cut off, you have to jump, where to go.
Here is a magical moment. At the tribune, the entire headquarters of the division, the city stadium.

I was sitting in the dressing room and swallowed something, magnetic chess got.
I sit down and guess. Approximately an hour remains until the presentation.
This compilation includes:
and Smyrna!
Free to you, soldiers.

It fits me, and I just divided the position.
What do you have here, warrior?
- Lovely Endspil, Comrade Colonel
Polkan is looking closely at the position.
What do you think?
On the board is Barbie-Saavedra.
The easy way to win the white, Comrade Colonel.
The colonel thought.
Do you see the possibility of rescue for black people here?
Not at all!
Have you thought well? Take the board and walk after me!

We spent the whole evening cutting Colonel in the blitz.
The next day, the divorce was ordered.
“For outstanding results in light athletics.”

In fact, doctors are a group of crazy people who maniacally try to deprive themselves of their jobs by healing everyone. And only the wise policy of the Ministry does not allow these unhappy people to remain without means of subsistence.

Status from the Orange Network:

Friends tomorrow my daughter will start the first exam in Russian, let’s wish her good luck and hold your fists for us.

Oh yeah, more fingers click there =)) Mom got paid off at the time, so at least don't pump now)

With Khabr on testing Korean MMORPG.

Bug-report: “Let the magic for the night of AFC fishing. There was a discount due to the change of the IP address by the provider. In the morning, he could not enter, throwing the login in the window when trying to connect to the server.
The people in the game said that my charm is online and continues to fish.”

Tester: We really couldn’t figure out what the problem was, the player has repeatedly done so. They were already thinking of putting a monument there, or asking the Koreans to do a quest with the NPC Ghost Fisherman with the name of the player.

For a very long time and carefully choosing a house for the city, believe me, the phrase "experimental materials" means "from shit and sticks"

What if the wave stops running?
Chapter 22: The Young Man. There are serious people on the Oasis. And to imagine a situation when a bunch of iron suddenly turned out to be stronger than these people, I personally, as UAZovod, can not imagine.
YURY K: Agas, especially new, with modern control systems - able to beat not only the owner, but also a couple or three car services

correspondence with the head of a multi-child NGO.
What are you hysterizing?
He gave me 300 pounds of moral damage after the accident.
Moral damage or forced standstill?
As if standing.
How much did he cost?
and a month.
- That is, with this statement to the court, the miracle man is written in that before the accident with you, a chicken with many children, who did not get to present a lawsuit to roadmen, that in the accident was caught by their fault, he actually earned 300,000, and in the tax showed 5 tickets a day?
Apparently so, and what?
- I have, you understand, friends-journalists who in this place let the saliva down to the floor...

She is a shit, she is angry! Why are all the banners on the sites correctly determining my location, offering to fucking all the beauties of the city of Chornomorsk right here and without registration?! Will the fucking aviator remember that I am not from Khabarovsk?! to