bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103874
 09.10.2014
Thus, let’s say, autumn or early spring, somewhere in the earth, the germ of any plant freezes. A man was passing by and joking. And for the germination, this is a real wealth - a warm solution of all the necessary elements. And suddenly, people also - fell on somebody unexpected wealth, and it was just sucked on him from above.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103873
 09.10.2014
With the employee:
I: Can I put this documentary in your bag?
She: No No No
I: Well, let me put it across so that I don’t get lost.
She is: No No No!! to
I have not taught you in time!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103872
 09.10.2014
To the topic about child psychologists/psychiaters with questions. Do not take it in your head. They have a set of questions to clarify the general development, and no one has yet been denied admission to the kindergarten, overwhelmed by the question, as the Madagascar man says.

My aunt worked in these commissions in Soviet times.
Mystery for children. Naturally, the mystery of winter and summer in one color is nowadays a question of pure erudition for the urban child. The answer is " practically everything". But the child does not know what the tree is meant and thinks. What is green at any time? I am glad, the soldier!
Development is normal. And erudition in ancient mysteries can also be worked in the garden.

Do you know Styles? and yes! About the mouse! declared to:
The mouse walks in the woods, gathers cloves, sings songs.
Suddenly, the cushion fell straight to the mouse in the forehead, the mouse was angry and on the ass of the mouse!

The doctor and the mother from surprise simultaneously repeat the mouse movement. Mom, to justify yourself, who taught you such a poem? and Dad! You are what, when? When I went to the store with my aunt...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103871
 09.10.2014
Borsch: With the words:"Stop talking!" I set the alarm clock 5 minutes earlier.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103870
 09.10.2014
When it was two days until the end of the dispute, she began to fall asleep, throwing one leg on me and sticking with her lips in my neck.

Men, I couldn’t sleep for exactly a month, but I won that fight for us all.
________
Mde, patient... more comfortable than a deer she will hardly wear. The Cossack Doll! and c)
It is...
Little girl, are you sure that the girls don’t want to? We want to, even if we are virgins. I think after a month she famously stumbled her boyfriend (Happiness them)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103869
 09.10.2014
Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov from Tanirbergen Berdongarov stole corals

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103868
 09.10.2014
Your chances for a friendzone will increase incredibly. So is!
----------
In the friendzone get those to whom the girl does not feel a physical attraction, there at least in a slice. The girl knows about whether she would go to bed with a particular guy or not in the first minutes of dating. Just normal human attitude and reveals the difference between the "going would" and "going."Even an initially interested girl is quite easy to distract with foolish behavior.
— — —
You say the case. Here, indeed, you need to clarify whether a personal acquaintance, in the sense that it is not online. appearance, voice, smell, so-called energy... it is like it is a beautiful person, and a cared for - not a wanderer. Sometimes it looks like a man like a man, but it’s good with him. Maybe something will happen here. Maybe, and it won’t happen, of course. And still important. There are women who know how to have sex for sex. Once in a while, it looks just like this one. But few of them. Most of us want to have at least one relationship. Not necessarily high love, but at least something. It’s by nature or by society – in this case, it doesn’t matter, because it’s so now.

And the fear of frendzon is the infantilism of pure water. With a pistol at the whisky, no one holds in Frendzon. Either you are pleased to be in it, or you stop this communication, or you confess in your feelings and desires, after which either yes or no. and all. There is no problem.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103867
 09.10.2014
My husband is so unadapted to life that with him and in heaven is a shalash.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103866
 09.10.2014
Choosing a tent:
X: The Canadian has a fireproof impregnation
Y: for rest on the water
X and so :)
X: Our country is unpredictable
Y: "... and the foxes took fireworks to the sea blue went the sea blue lighted..." (c) :D
X and O! This is a classic at all.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №103865
 09.10.2014
We teach the child the alphabet of Marshak.
The working day begins at 9.00, at 10.00 with the heads of sectors meeting with the chief. At 11 a.m. the evil boss comes in and begins to scream at us. Proralsi - came out, everyone is silent under the impression, I break out:"Oslik was angry today, he learned that he was an ass"
Everything is rushing))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103864
 09.10.2014
In the late 1990s, I bought my son a handheld Chinese plastic watch.
Their straps broke quite quickly, but the clock was running and he was wearing them in his pants pocket.
The clock was thin and light, the body cast, i.e. They did not understand,
So I rolled them in the laundry with pants 3 or 4 times.
They drowned themselves and went on, serving for several years.
And I remember the kids were very young, bought a Chinese music brick,
At the exit of the store, his daughter fell down the stairs, and he collapsed into small pieces.
Buttons of various colors I remember broke up, we collected them.
it was a pity, brought home in the palm, gathered, he ticked for 10 years ))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103863
 09.10.2014
It is not about time, but about approach. Has Nafuya for years blocked people's passage? Once they go there, once they systematically dig out the bushes, it means they are so comfortable. Why not make a path? Trails are for them to walk, so why not do them where people are walking?
= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
You need to create people the maximum of small inconveniences, then they will not have time and energy to deal with big problems. Sometimes, you can remove some small inconvenience and show people how they are cared for, but immediately create at least a couple of others.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №103862
 09.10.2014
A community of knives.
xxx: Lord, have you ever used cold weapons for self-defense?
...
YYY: There was a case. I still regret. Because one of the two bottles of beer lying in the pockets of the jacket burst into the head of the villain and the jacket smelled rather disgusting. But the weapon was really cold... and a little chemical, because it was the Baltic.
Just the jacket was thrown over the shoulder and it was very convenient to load it to the young man who was rushing into the battle on the cushion... unfortunately, I did not take into account the slight strength of the cans. The young man, indeed, and such an imperfect response impressed to the depths of his soul, he completely lost all will to fight, put off the iron, which he had before vigorously waved, firmly took his head and thought tense about the surprising turns of fate.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №103861
 09.10.2014
On the subject of deafening:

My wife's yoga instructor advised the balls to roll: " from the nerves" - o_o she now constantly touches my eggs( type catches, says helps )))
P.S Hopefully the expander won’t recommend it.)

_____

This is an honest word, I hope that this "yoga instructor" will advise his wife to "smoke the expander". So that this miracle in the feathers did not confuse the expander and expander, and also wrote the word yoga correctly.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103860
 09.10.2014
The real trouble is that the personal cabinet in our lives appears when it is no longer needed. As I once dreamed of at least my own table, making drawings on the window of the shelter...
Daddy

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103859
 09.10.2014
When the relatives lived in the village, more precisely, my aunt.
To them came local village drug addicts - to collect mac. When the uncle could not walk - only in a wheelchair moved, the narcissists generally went home, indeed, nothing but the maca did not touch.
So, over time, they repaired the cylinder, laid wood, laid a pavement from the cylinder to the garden, wrapped new boards into the fence, in exchange for those that perished.
Not all drug addicts are equally bad, however.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103858
 09.10.2014
Ussurisk, waiting for the station. There are four beautiful garbage cans in the waiting room. Each is intended for its own category of garbage (plastics, paper, etc.). Above them are beautiful booklets about the benefits of sorting garbage. Two cleaners are suitable (some train station babies of furia) and throw the garbage from different canes in one big garbage package. With a proud look, they put on the place of the cage and not less proudly depart.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103857
 09.10.2014
The era of gopniks with mobile phones with guns on the entire bus has ended... the era of hipsters with guns on the entire bus with healthy headphones has begun!

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103856
 09.10.2014
From the discussion of one breed of cats

The call only cannot be invented the second day.
yyy:Open the Ikea catalog

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103855
 09.10.2014
There are many who say: equality, equality has come.
I’ll tell you, shit. If it were here, then I, a fat thirty-year-old woman with excellent earnings, would have chosen a dull twenty-year-old boy with a strong torso, long hair and a noble fox to buy him iPhones and pay for the gym, and he would bring into my life sex, feed cats and pass by for me, while the hired cleaner brings beauty into my apartment. I don’t see the line!
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The slave does not want freedom for himself, the slave wants his slaves.

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