News on Yandex:
The Ukrainian Army is in full combat readiness.
Russia’s happiness index reached a historic high

Companies Microsoft, Oracle, Symantec and Hewlett-Packard (HP) are joining the sanctions against Russian banks and companies and may completely stop cooperating with them. So, in the bank "Russia" disconnection of part of foreign software await "day to day". HP has stopped supplying the necessary equipment to Russian partners.
The history of licensing software in Russia has ended.
yyy: Savelovsky computer market of the city of Moscow will have to significantly increase turnover to provide these banks with Microsoft products :) may not cope :)

From ask.fm :

What are you most ashamed of doing to people?

Dancing in HD
I think I would even be quieter.

XX: Do you know English well?
YYY: Generally not bad.
xxx is basic?
I speak freely in English :)
xxx: clear, Turbo Basic

G (14:27) :
The popularity of the Russian army and the degree of approval of its activities in society after the Crimean events approached the ranking of the Russian Orthodox Church. According to the sociologist, 72% of Russians approve of the activity of the army and approximately the same percentage of approval in the RPC.

Shoigu in the Patriarchate!! to

by wan (14:28) :
He will manage. He does all the positions.

G (14:29) :
and ah. He still has to be born and all the missions have been completed.

Wife: go eat the cake, or suddenly I will not stand up tomorrow and eat it myself?! to
You can only stand up and not eat it :)

Japanese girl - instructions for use

How to meet the Japanese?
In principle, everything is very simple, for this it is enough to get to Japan, since the absolute majority of Japanese women are there. So the very fact that you are standing on Japanese soil dramatically increases your chances of meeting a Japanese girl.

to this:
In order to protect children from unwanted information, I propose to ban dogs on the streets of cities.

In order to protect children from unwanted information, I propose to ban children on the streets.

Will we meet at 10 o’clock? Will it all be on time?
BBB: Hi yes
CCC: Yes
DDD: Yes, if everything is okay with the trains
CCC: Hyacee, Berlioz are you? O_O

Hi, what are you doing right now?
YYY: Yes, I’m running for the diploma.
Q: Where are you running?
YYY: So far in the apartment.and :-)

Dear schoolchildren, a little about escalators, hypotenuses, and kings.
The longest escalator was the station "Commandantsky Prospect" - its length is 140 meters and it descends to a depth of 78 meters.

Wife: Will you have?
I: You know, I don’t eat after six.
A: Oh yeah yeah. After 6 cups.

XXX: I am not a trader at all!
YYY: I know, you are just cute. If polygamy were allowed in our country, I would have taken you as my second wife.
XXX: What if I didn’t want to?
Yyy: If polygamy were allowed in our country, no one would ask you.

Admin: Do you know the main disadvantage of your odmin?
He has no cat and no sweater.
Office Manager: He’s blowing in the server!! to
You’ll find him when you need to. And if you find it, fuck what you get from it.
Director: Lazy and irresponsible.
Chapter 2: He is a fool!
Admin: I did not guess. The correct answer is "You no longer have it". I get out of that mess. Look now for 16 kilobytes of a responsible and working sober man, resilient to the loans of accountants, in addition to a cat and sweater. I kiss and embrace.

The glorious city of Slavyansk, already known to the whole world.
I live in a frequent sector, after working, coming home in the dark hours of the day, lock all the doors and the wardrobe into the yard. There was a dog on the street. I sit behind the compound, the dog hasn’t stopped lying for about half an hour. Once out, nothing The next time I went out of the courtyard, I walked around the street, everything was calm. But suddenly a voice came from the top: "Go home, don't have a good time" - this was what the sniper who sat on a tree told me. To say that marked the day of the builder, nothing to say.

I would, in the place of the Black Sea Fleet Command, send Donald Cook the Corn (AN-2).
Then they would definitely impose bricks, because if the Russians even have such weddars with such equipment flying, then the Americans are not the most outcast power.

Wow, you are a genius! 😉

I go in traffic jams, I don’t touch anyone... Suddenly, a machine with the inscription wshinach.ru rolls in front of me. I thought for a long time what it would be for until I saw a car wheel painted next to the inscription :)

A new Honda is parked in the yard. The glass of the rear side door is strongly lowered. You can open the door yourself. I think a girl parked. Sorry for the owner. How to find the phone number and help?

Skiff: Open the door, close the glass - the rear is probably on the hills in a cheap hunta, close the door. If the driver's car does not get stuck with the closed passenger car, close the last passenger car.

Panzer: Ensure in advance that there are no witnesses. If necessary, remove it.

Today 2 old women in the clinic (B1, she is older and, and B2):

B1: How old are you?
B2 and 61
B1 –... and 61? I was like a horse in your years.
Well, I also feel like a horse now... like an old rider.

The Russian mentality:

I started drinking.
Why didn’t he drink?