bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №104684
 28.10.2014
Life is richer than imagination. Could we have imagined that the Japanese would shake the portrait of the Russian prosecutor?? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104683
 28.10.2014
I learned how easy it is to understand the tendencies of children :D
We sometimes arrange crafts at home - I give them stick plates, hammer, nails.
Today, the daughter (8 years old) made a pencil, the son (6 years old) - a large cross for the cross, and the other daughter (4 years old) - a rifle.
It is impossible to describe the character of these people more accurately.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104682
 28.10.2014
Status: Many people know me, but only a few people know who I am.
The word is fat, yeah?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №104681
 27.10.2014
My aunt's sister has arrived.
When I crossed the street, four cars collided. So she ran.
xxxh: in the courtyard began to melt the leaflets - turned the refuelled gas generator, which we and the men wearing four
To burn a horse in the wool is like two fingers on the asphalt.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104680
 27.10.2014
Everything in this life is relative.
1) Forced to wear a suit, it is cold on the street, it is cold at the meeting, even this one asked in the evening to go home to say goodbye... even on the way a minute to wait for a gift to a friend to buy, well what a day... Well, no direct words.

2) I accidentally met the former near this store, and the light is like that between the matter - "you are super" (the guy did not refuse and waited) and presses the box to the chest... And I even such in a suit opened her door in the car... Well, no direct words = )

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104679
 27.10.2014
The woman, on the phone, strictly:
Have you walked? In the coat? In the pants? Without the pants? Well, Yura, how many times you have to repeat – wear your pants! If you get a cold, go to the veterinarian.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №104678
 27.10.2014
Monday, six o’clock in the evening, until the end of the day, an hour, hellishly want to eat. First I say it out loud, then I go to my favorite colleague, ask for a cake. She gets bread out of the box, and at the same time suddenly everything comes in motion, vanity begins, the shell of packs. In one second, my hands stretch from all sides to me: in one pack of cookies, in the other marmelade, in the third a banana. In the utmost ecstasy I collect unexpected generous gifts, whispering “thank you, girls, thank you, cute, give a kiss, good...”. Here the boss comes out of the office, breaks off the phone, looks at this vaccanal and says: "Well, you are straight Stas Mikhailov after the concert"... I couldn't calm down.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104677
 27.10.2014
Department of Women’s Clothing.
Angry grandmother speaks to the saleswoman.
Do you offer all black, all grey? I am not in the grave, I wear it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104676
 27.10.2014
...One of my friends, working at home as a freelancer, sits exclusively on a large sports ball, so that the foot on the foot is not thrown and not crumbled. With computers, scoliosis is the norm.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104675
 27.10.2014
10:50PM theFguy:...max axis 56: all the fucking system in the cloud, or the cloud in another cloud, and this big cloud is just a p*zzzz, in the hole in the big, the h*zza!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104674
 27.10.2014
People get easier to sleep if they don’t know what’s being discussed.
WOW: I thought about it.
Zzzz: This is what a living creator does!

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104673
 27.10.2014
In ancient times, 86 computer processors worked with either a mouse or a printer. The algorithm must be strictly followed.
-
The one who said this to you, see a joke from the older generation and greatly divided.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104672
 27.10.2014
Men who think women dress very slowly just didn’t get them with their lover.
YYY: Women who think computers are very slow just didn’t get them with admin
YY: 1 to 1

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104671
 27.10.2014
When the author’s name matches the content of the book, say, hold five copies from me.
"Forensic medicine and forensic psychiatry" Vyacheslav Semenovich Paukov, Nikolai Nikolaevich Živoderov GEOTAR MEDICINE, 2000

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104670
 27.10.2014
This spring we went hunting with friends and before leaving one of our older comrades told us that vanilla helps from musk. Well, we bought food vanilla and baby cream and went.
Upon arrival at the site, they found a wild number of these mosquitoes and decided to try a new remedy, mixed vanilla with baby cream and soaked everything that came out of under the clothes.
With us was the wife of one of us - a boy-girl, with camouflage manicure, passed with us fire and water! And here, three days later, she returns from a campaign for mushrooms, enters the house and observes the picture: there are four healthy bearded barbs sitting in cartridges, knives, camouflages, swamps with guns, ready to go out to the star, all again anointed with vanilla, but all these days no one was washed, because. Everywhere, all the time sweated, crashed into the swamp and drank, snacking salt with garlic.
So, when she went in and tasted this hellish mixture of vanilla, vanilla and garlic, she said to her husband, "Home, please, never buy me anything vanilla again, or it will tear me out!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104669
 27.10.2014
8 Do you smoke?
YYY: You have given up.
Yes, I only have a couple of lengths, please.
YYY: Who are you lying to? I can’t believe three things:
I only have a couple of lengths.
I am just a few seeds.
I am just a couple of frictions.
The xxx :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104668
 27.10.2014
Why is the flash drive sometimes not inserted, the reverse flash drive is not inserted, and the reverse flash drive is inserted twice?
WOW: Because it’s a flash with a back equal to two, obviously.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104667
 27.10.2014
Lessons in second class.
The question:
Who lost his crystal shoe?
It is silent. It happened that I had not read it yet.
I suggest
Zo...
The Zombie?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104666
 27.10.2014
Alex: Somebody’s family is getting caught up with you? They say you are not childish again.
Countess: Yes, fucking, we were there on Saturday. Do you remember that your baby is 2 months old?
Well, so that O** at least a little distracted, ate calmly and played poker, I and their little one walked through the living room, singing a crib.
After that, they roasted me for a long time. The second day on asskoe and skype stebut. and (
Alex: You know, I’m even afraid to ask what you surprised...
Countess: Yeah, I don’t know how to deal with children... and I don’t know the whales.
Well, I thought of nothing but Arya "Sleep" at that moment. As she finished, Skorpov began to whisper "Wind of changes", then "Valley, Wonderful Valley" recalled...
When it didn’t work, I finished the Russian Anthem. By the way, here on him, my little one got stuck in my chest with handcuffs, slashed my shoulder and immediately cut off...
I killed Alex. :D
You can see that the man is growing!! Patriot to fuck! :D :D :D :D :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104665
 27.10.2014
Revenge is a dish. It is served cold...

What do you think of such a dish - "Cooled perforator in a neighbor’s ass"?

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