bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147555
 23.12.2017
>>> But what prevented her from leaving BEFORE marriage, BEFORE far-reaching plans for life together were built, right? What prevented her from rejecting the proposal, if it was enough for six months — not two or three years, not even a year — to so much reject the marriage?

So how do we know what happened to you after your marriage, which you did not see before? The ideal marriage is at the time when you have been a family for many years, and the stamp in the passport is placed purely for the box. And not when he changes everything and translates the relationship to a new level because the stamp in the passport can’t change anything in the relationship.

>>> The same "yes" is not just a slander of the upper lip on the lower lip, it is a conscious expression of will. If you say it, then follow it. Is it not?

No is. Registration of marriage in any document does not impose on the spouses the obligation to be together until the end of the days. And the very word “yes” only indicates that a person has agreed at a given moment, and this does not mean that he can not change his mind now (or that he is not allowed to change his mind at all).

Well, do you really want your wife to be with you just because of a sense of duty?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147554
 23.12.2017
Falkowskij: Today, switching channels, stuck. At some of the federal discussed the strength of gays. A picture of two Santa Claus, one white, the other black. The leader asks: "How to raise boys today? Where to hide them from this force?" And some woman from the guests shouts: "In the Suvorovsky school!" That is, to form a teenage heterosexual orientation to give him to a closed educational institution, where his puberty will take place exclusively in a male environment.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147553
 23.12.2017
A year or a little more ago, some borrowed the claim that the girls from the dating site after dating in real leave "and they don’t care that the guy can be the last chance to lose his virginity", now some borrowed crying "the woman left and she doesn’t care that the boy has psychological trauma and depression".
Do you think it was the same one? And then suspiciously the same world in which the babies are such a social and humanitarian service)))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147552
 23.12.2017
At 20, of course, there is no money, and at 30 there is no strength and health.

Oh yeah yes. I gave birth at 23. He had no money and had a bad husband. The second and third were born in 31 and 33. Well, a little harder in pregnancy. Less of energy. But without nerves - buy diapers, or shoes? And the husband is already tested, with experience and understanding. This greatly changes the matter.
And yes, my close friend is a firstborn at 35. A child of one and a half years, flight is normal.
People are different

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147551
 22.12.2017
There is nothing so reassuring as the smile of a neurologist.

Nothing pleases the eye as a highly qualified ophthalmologist.
After contacting an otolaryngologist, it is easier to breathe.
I want to live again thanks to the resuscitator.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147550
 22.12.2017
here here :

> neither fireworks nor a simple compass to take with you can guess.

I can only see through the clouds, which side of the sun? Well, just to not confuse the sides of the light and maintain the direction to the nearest track or railway, with which, in fact, and stuck?
Are you going to collect mushrooms or wash gold in Alaska, and walk and float?

Here are such hopeful mommy travellers, lost in the house, and then somehow stumbled into the deaf forest, and not the opposite, every time they are looking for it. In fact, it would be better to actually take fireworks with a compass, rather than stupidity with an emergency.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147549
 22.12.2017
It doesn’t matter which leg you stand on. Most importantly, not the cat.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147548
 22.12.2017
It sinked. Toughened Torch
broke in the courtyard.
The Alcatraz Alcatraz
In the neighboring corner.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147547
 22.12.2017
About the "cold calls" My girlfriend found a way out. When she calls, she always answers – so I already have it. Thus e. the provider calls – she says that is connected to it, if from the bank – she says that the card of that bank already exists. They are immediately behind :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147546
 22.12.2017
Witcher: The Wild Cunt is finished!
Hopefully Hunt, anyway?
3: The first option should be much more spectacular

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147545
 22.12.2017
Is there an unforgiven Sunday? The type when you call the person you have offended and you want to die?
YYY: This is Monday

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147544
 22.12.2017
Many years ago, when I just went to school, and I was not yet 7 years old, we lived in a small town in Uzbekistan. At the beginning of the first week, the first lesson of physical culture was held. We jumped in length. The teacher asked if anyone had a home, and if anyone could bring a roulette to the next class to measure our length jumping results, she would be very grateful. I didn’t know what roulette was like, but I was very surprised to see how a teacher would measure our jumps in the sand... with roulette. My mom had a masterpiece, so I knew this word very well and loved it - roulette. I rushed from school and first of all I shouted to my mom: - Urgently baking roulette, Ekaterina Vasilyevna asked to bring to school.

Mom didn't even object, - Of course, I cook, don't worry you like that. What is your tea there?

No is! We will jump in length and Ekaterina Vasilyevna will be a roulette to measure who jumped further!

So, for many years, this case has become our family joke about roulette, roulette and a dumb girl.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №147543
 22.12.2017
Much more profitable

18 Seasons "Battle of the Senses" and nobody guessed to invest in bitcoins.

They are investing in evils.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147542
 22.12.2017
Once in Instagram came out a post from an unfamiliar young girl with such a typical fashion profile with over 40k followers: motivating texts, how not to be afraid to start your business, my well-deserved vacation at the best resorts in Europe, phileas parts and other components of success. And periodically a photo from her "own" cafe, around which her success story is built.

I look at these photos, and I am bombarded with fury: I know the owners of the cafe, because we cooperate with them for a long time and productively. They are a family couple of age, both of whom spend 10 hours without weekends for the benefit of their own business. I write to the housewife: how does someone crack on the internet with your work. She says it is her daughter. They sent her to Europe, she studies there, occasionally comes home to host.

Here is a recipe for how to build your successful business in 20 years.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №147541
 22.12.2017
and falling:

Strange you... Take paper, pen and write it down. "Thank you, I am not interested" and all. Yes, they are poor-unfortunate – the work is hard, nervous, and they pay a penny. And yes, if call centers don’t, it will be worse for you personally. Do you think who’s advising you to restart your router when you’re on the internet? "First line technical support" - the same employees of independent call centers working on customer scripts. Technical specialists are translated only if the case really deserves it (and you are not blatant, but specifically describe what to do and why you need a technician). There would not have been this "first line", still hanging on the phone for half an hour, while the specialist is trying to deal with another drunken dumb customer.

Milko, when I have a router really dumb, I personally call a large city company that provides me with the internet, it is quite able to maintain its technical support, and not use the dumb poppy who has learned 3 questions on the phone. Well, you should come to the master to check the plastic windows, the medical center immediately sign up to us if you have problems with the back and the up-company "notify me when you have a water meter, I need to write it on your card"not only the slightest kindness, but also the usual politeness not deserved.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147540
 22.12.2017
The True Quality

>... Bl...you are a Chinese crane in the kitchen...

>> When leaving for a year, do not block the input crane...

The Chinese crane flows even if it is unconnected to the water pipeline.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №147539
 22.12.2017
We stood at the bench and my father asked:

"There are cartridges that have four games and a lot of games, for example, for 1,000 games. Which to buy? “”

I looked at him astonished and said wisely:

“Of course, one that has a thousand games. Why only 4 games? “”

So, I played 1000 varieties of the same Mario.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №147538
 22.12.2017
Comrade shared his story yesterday. He has a teenage son.

The case, he says, was a few years ago. I go to my son's room, and he's a piece of paper, a little smaller. What do you do? I ask, he is silent. I never got a response from him. Recently it was discovered.



The man appears to have composed a poem. I wrote it on a leaflet. And then I realized that weakly worked, and began to see traces. Most of all, he was afraid that his poem would be found on the landfill by bombs, and would be carved over it.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №147537
 22.12.2017
At the enterprise in the sanatorium of the workers' dorm was made a full P. It was not too early, except in the tanks. In the shower was not better, although there was no shit, but dirt was enough, even hand washers were with twisted cranes and sprayed mirrors. The cleaner, the lady in the years, did not cope either physically or morally with this star.

Decided - placed the commander with the duties of the cleaner. the man. Over the course of a week, he pulled out the communal, including this chopped sandwich. Should everyone be happy? The commander is not happy. He is not greeted by the hand, in the dining room does not sit at the same table with him, even to stand to smoke some demonstrably refused. You clean your hands, not your companion. Yes, and in the toilet began to throw the paper used directly on the floor, squeeze past it is just the law.

How to decide? To argue / argue? This has already happened, it needs to be a tougher method, and one day a bathroom lock and a schedule of work appeared on the doors of the bathroom. 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the evening. It is not tolerated - the territory of the enterprise is full of individual wooden cabins, the nearest is 200 meters away. They tried to upset, but the commander stood on the side of the commander.

and all. Now from the morning in the bathroom is built a row with towels, toothbrushes. Visiting the toilet is regulated, if, according to the turn, you have been sitting on a white friend for too long, then you will be reminded of a couple of tenderness and knocking on the door. What is most important? If someone sees that the previous well there, gently speaking, left behind a dirty toilet room, then hell you will be released until you put it in order, and even without the participation of the commander.

In short, the power of the one who has the key to the toilet.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147536
 22.12.2017
Not interested - so and say: "Not interested" and hang the phone.

If it always worked. Or called me once a terribly annoying mantle, with some innovative water filters. Once, second, third, not responding to "thank you, I’m not interested". He plunged and put it on the blacklist. Hours after five checked - in the World Cup 17 missed calls, 17!After I have said several times that the offer does not interest me. It is not a sin to send such a message.

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