bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137771
 13.01.2017
Hicks, discussion of growing teeth
X: Give two
Give me a 32 :(

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №137770
 13.01.2017
<Lucia> Have you passed the safety instructions? Remember what was said about touching the monitor screen?
<Georg> So the same thing about ELT monitors was said, they accumulate charge, and there is LCD, what does it have to do with it?
<Lucia> What is the relationship? I'll explain popularly, if you'll tick your fat fingers into my monitor, then you can accidentally get a chair on the hillside.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137769
 13.01.2017
Sometimes it seems to me that if an alien who has secretly arrived and well disguised himself as a landlord, writes here with good, practical knowledge about how to properly, for example, "pull the Marlesian tripeas", then there will be some local boring thing that will write how to do it really correctly, to name it and to understand it.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137768
 13.01.2017
Refus: it is strange yet that they did not try to check the "17 moments of spring" - there is a Russian Soviet man walking in FASCHIST FORM!!!!111 has moved to the enemy!!! to
Jablik: There is another Soviet man in a swastika shirt (!!!) Smoking and drinking! Children are in shock.
Refus: That is interesting. Have our figures already been censored before the swastiks were blotted during the film show?
All will happen, guess a little.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137767
 13.01.2017
From the raft:
XHH: Anyone, the world football championship will be taken away. In other words, a boycott will be announced. We will play four: with Kazakhstan, Belarus and Turkey.
Finally a chance to win a medal!
Zzzz: No, we will take the fourth place.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137766
 13.01.2017
XXX: The Payment
XXX is working
YYY: a direct pofixil pofixil?
XXX: You have fixed the fixed
xxx: even the cushion cleaned up for no need))

#odmin #cotte #shredder

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137765
 13.01.2017
And there are people for whom pragmatism is above ordnance. And what to blame the already heavenly manna of the food-eating collective farmers, they simply made the ground at the intersections of the last 50 meters asphalt. Dirt from the wheels is rubbed out on this section and does not get on the highway.

And there are people who know nothing about the subject, telling about it with confidence. Wet, sticky dirt (fat clay, heavy clay, etc.) does not shake until it dries and falls away.
And I will tell you as a collective farmer: in the spring if you accidentally entered the bed, the dirt can only be cleaned by sharply scratching it with various objects, and then washing the shoes under running water with a brush. Running on the road with shoes does not give exactly any result.
Have you seen the protector on trucks or tractors? Probably not.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №137764
 12.01.2017
I can say one thing, my psychoanalyst mostly listens to me, but sometimes asks.
> guiding questions to answer which I sometimes rush into complete stupor and start
> wondering why I never thought about it myself.

By the way, yes. I was not in psychoanalysts, but an experienced psychotherapist knows how to ask such questions, checked. It does not hit the eyebrows, but the eye, as they say.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137763
 12.01.2017
Not forgotten golf

If only an air cavity is made, they will not weigh too much and will stand forward in all circumstances.

Helium, helium must be filled - even the posture will improve!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137762
 12.01.2017
How not to fall asleep on a very boring couple?
XXX is play? The book?
YYY: I went to adult music school, and there was such a subject as music literature. On this subject we were told about all kinds of classical guys and put their monsoon. I loved this subject, I was interested, but here’s the trouble – every time, whatever I did, I fell asleep about 10 minutes after starting this lesson.
I drank gallons of coffee, peddled myself in different places, tried to make some mechanical movements in different parts of the body, sat in uncomfortable poses, pressed my eyebrows with my fingers so they didn’t close, always sat on the first party in front of the teacher, so I was ashamed, asked my comrades to peddle me every five minutes, breathed deeply, held my breath, picked up water in my mouth, pre-slept for several days in a row than ever before, asked to air more frequently...
Ten minutes and I was like a baby.
Answer to your question, Katya:
and nick.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137761
 12.01.2017
by Travaudoma

Pranoids may exist, but not for long.* is

Plants are both multiannual and one-year.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №137760
 12.01.2017
Spam has arrived at the mail. Title: Is It All for Joy? Come here!

It was a casino advertisement.

XHH: It is exactly. I will go. Probably the remaining 300 rubles prevent me from rejoicing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137759
 12.01.2017
Neradence: Briefly about Nera and her female bag (a tactical backpack of forty liters): upon request to find something sharp to cut off a piece of spaghetti, Nera silently gets a tail out of the backpack. Because Odin’s true daughter can’t go to work without a tail.
And I was thinking from the morning of what the backpack so heavy suddenly...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137758
 12.01.2017
The evil administrator sits on a color printer to print on measure. Without him nothing.
And since not everything runs in the distance, it is often absent.
The girl suits. It is thinking.
Is there a printer here? not there.
What should you do to make it quickly and steadily in place?
The programmer sitting next to him shakes his head:
Reset on the server.
As usually happens, the administrator immediately materialized, and the phrase was heard, the man only miraculously did not grieve.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137757
 12.01.2017
From the talks of colleagues:
I only watch 2x2 TV.
YYY: And what are they showing? and four?
My human brain did not immediately understand the joke.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137756
 12.01.2017
You know, in my childhood and adolescence representation, girls always seemed very graceful and elegant. After all, it is the girls most often engaged in dancing, gymnastics and other yoga. In the future, when life brought me closer to the girls, I realized that dances, gymnastics and other yoga are shown to the girls, so that they just find at least a minimum of grace and elegance. And they stopped shaking taburets, robbing books from the cabinets and pouring boiling water on the shells.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137755
 12.01.2017
The dragon is a dragon, but the whore is hunted from the inside.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №137754
 12.01.2017
X: Who are the first ones?
YYY: These are people who are accountants.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137753
 12.01.2017
At the concert, the pianist and the pianist inspired to play in four hands some extravagant thing of a little-known Polish composer. With each page the melody becomes faster and more difficult, musicians with increasingly tense faces play, nervously turning the pages and almost dropping the score on the floor. Finally, a tumultuous final, applause, tribute... And then the pianist takes a pack of notes, blows, furiously whispers... and roughly twists half up with her legs. A duet with happy faces sits down to play on.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137752
 12.01.2017
In the coat I was signed as Don Stefano. There is only one name in the box: Don. So the taxi driver says to me: I have a boat named Don! I received your order, could not pass by!

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