bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104084
 14.10.2014
October 2012
Why are the manufacturers of my favorite phones always dead?
Siemens, Moto, now here is Sonic
Buy an iPhone!
October 2013
iPhone is stupid! Not the Nokia.

**********************************************************************************

October 2014.
Buy an iPhone, remove it from relatives in the Donbass and finally sell dollars!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104083
 14.10.2014
Leprecon, Leprecon... As a child, I read a fairy tale that if you escape a church against the sun, you can get into the country of elves... As a true escapist, I went to look for a church. What would you think? The darkness of the churches in the city, and each is surrounded by an extremely uncomfortable fence or so uncomfortable, well you understood...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104082
 14.10.2014
There is nothing to do... what to do? Do not tell?
Ask Barry, he knows.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104081
 14.10.2014
Davecha planted her husband on Game of Thrones (on which planet he lived before that - it is unclear).

I watched the first season of the 9th episode and, I so gently hint to him, it would be good to uncover the topic of sex in real, after which I go to the bedroom. I wait, not there. I go down to the kitchen, it’s there.

It stands, my dear friend, 45 and a half years old, in socks and trousers, and with a sad look in the corner quickly breaks ice cream out of the package. I ask him what makes him sad, and I get an exhaustive answer: “Why are they so with Ned Stark, but?...Well, the normal man was..."

Poor man...I don’t think it’s his last night’s trip to the refrigerator.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104080
 14.10.2014
In the course of 3 I had one caretaker. And so he temptingly told about the joys of sex without a gondon, that I, a fool in love, went to the doctor (in a very even state clinic) for pills. and what? I was assigned such a number of tests (a smear for infection, blood for hormones, and even at a strictly defined time of the cycle) that while I passed it all, it turned out that my narrowed is a normal dumb, and even with the entire zoo in trousers. Thanks to the doctor. And among my acquaintances there is no one who would immediately get a prescription for pills. And you say, they write out everybody.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104079
 14.10.2014
We had a battalion in the army: E.D. and bobro.
The only person whose initials were written in front of his surname.

*****************************************

He was fortunate that he was not Borisovich.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104078
 14.10.2014
He calls me Malvina. I may be the same beautiful.
You have a porcelain head.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104077
 14.10.2014
Today, a new Siddhartha has arrived. The first thing he did at the new workplace was backup all the backups. Then he went to meet us.
YYY: Yes, it was a tough life for the man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104076
 14.10.2014
About the integrity of our doctors:
Even as a student, he was undergoing another medical examination at the institutional clinic. I am in line for the results of fluorography. I am tired, and in front of me is the rector of my university. The next step is the dialogue:
Hi, I want to take the results of fluorography.
Your card please.
Do you not recognize me? I am the rector of the institute.
Let me know who you are! Give me a card!
After that, a slightly embarrassed and debilitated rector begins to dig into the portfolio and look for a card XD

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104075
 14.10.2014
Yyy: the cheapest on the booking costs 160 backs
No, look somewhere else.
xxx: watch, kills in Google "Judge in Melbourne"
XXX: This is about us!! to

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104074
 14.10.2014
to this:

A post with a proposal to make a shape for ice from a burning bulb and check the myth with the bulb stuck in your mouth:
xxx: while this layer is melting in 3-4 mm, the patient will receive a freezing of the mucous membrane.
Yyy: He doesn’t have to wait until he grows up. If the bulb is not pulled out immediately, it must be destroyed by itself:
1st Apperkot from the bottom to the jaw, lightly. The light bulb will crash, and the pieces of ice can spit out.
2nd Put into the clist (sprinkle) boiling water, and pour through the hole in the basement into the cavity of the "lamps". But you only need to be careful so that the subject does not scratch the esophagus and mouth.
Three Hit the cheek with a hammer, the lamp will burst.
and ZZZ: 2 Put water into the clist (sprinkle) and pour it through the rectal hole. A man will blink and the lamp will fly off by itself.

Not with ice, but with sugar. Melt the sugar, pour into the shape and voila - sweet delicious=) and the experimental pleasant and you have fun!=)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104073
 14.10.2014
Looking for a lady heart for yogurt in the store: what if the lady is not a constant weight loss anorexic, and a normal person with normal food needs, she has no chance? Do you think that meat and bread are not free?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104072
 14.10.2014
The colleague:
Once upon a time, seven children and 20 kilograms ago, when I, as a student, worked as a guard on a barracks, we took three horses from the horse car one night, then driven by maneuver for two hours, but then two hours could not take them from the barracks to the barracks. They broke three slices from the scarf - about the ass, sorry, about the crops...
At some point I caught myself laughing on a horse and fighting a wolf: it worked!!! :o
________
At the end of the day, we had to turn off the electricity at the stall, but we still needed to remove all the diaries and we lighted each other with our mobile phones, because it was late autumn and it was dark - even if the eye was shaken... And here one girl begins to whisper relentlessly, when asked what it was about, she says through tears of laughter: "Who would tell me that I am going to look with a lamp, would not believe!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104071
 14.10.2014
Alexey: Technically, the toy dinosaur is made of plastic, the plastic is made of oil, and the oil is made of dinosaur remains, so the toy dinosaur is made of real!
[07:54, 10/13/2014] Dmitry: Following this logic - you are oil
[07:58, 10/13/2014] Alexey: Hm...I am a toy dinosaur!!It was a good start! (

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104070
 14.10.2014
to this:
I played in the Sims 4.
YYY: and how?
XXX: Grandma is evil, even in the game. He gave up himself, chose his habits – madness, misanthropy and creativity.
XXX: A neighbor is stuck.
XXX: Flirting
XXX: The next day she proposed marriage
XXX: after a day, everything broke in the house and broke
XXX I will divorce.

What are you, you crazy creative misanthropist?
Drowned in the pool.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104069
 14.10.2014
Yes, you hit your underdog, gondola and friendzone. Is this the cleverest branch? Go to the residence!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104068
 14.10.2014
here here :

here here :
...
She could argue that a woman originated from a man’s penis bone
...

Something new in anatomy or unfulfilled girl's dreams?? to

The genital bone (baculum) is present in some primates (the closest relatives of humans, if any). According to one of the theories, Eve was not created from Adam’s rib, but from his bone. This is why the bone is missing.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104067
 14.10.2014
Picture at the maternity reception (women go to the reception room for a preliminary examination, change clothes to the hospital and then go out for a few minutes to say goodbye to the accompanying) -
The woman comes out in the hospital, approaches her husband: “Yes, you’re already drunk!!! I left you for 10 minutes!!and "
And thou shalt be a man, and thou shalt be a man, and thou shalt be a man.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104066
 14.10.2014
here here :
During a mass orgia in the Belgian city of Charleroi, seven elderly people died. This is by Nord Presse. Five died from cardiac arrest and two died from pulmonary swelling.
Two hundred elderly people gathered at the party. Only those who were over 65 years old could participate. It was planned that this orgy would be the most massive in Europe in 2014. At 40 you don’t need to say anything.

Many news agencies re-printed this news from a fake website, where there are “sensations” about a man who made a lion’s cane and a radioactive rainbow.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104065
 14.10.2014
There are many fools at all times, the Internet has only given the opportunity to speak out regardless of age, level of intelligence and the degree of awareness in the topic being discussed.
So then. Hormonal contraceptives, including Oral, are originally drugs from various hormone-dependent female and some male (wow, yeah?!) The Deceased. They don’t protect the SPF at all. Contraception is a side effect. Why Running? And if your partner doesn’t have those feelings in the rubber, then he just doesn’t care about you. After all, it is you to be treated, to have an abortion, and then to suffer from the inability to give birth. Yes, SPDs are guilty of infertility as well as abortions. And to pay for normal condoms is much cheaper than 10 tyres for abortion and 5-6 tyres for treatment after the same oral contraceptives. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. All are good.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna