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 11.10.2008
http://www.proza.ru/texts/2008/10/07/186.html



In the hero city of Brooklyn, on the third floor of an ordinary four-storey house

Without the elevator lives the family of my friends: Dad Yasha, Mom Masha, daughter Nika and cat

and Murzick. And the apartment under them is removed by a harmful old man who can't tolerate it.

Maybe "these Russians" and almost complain about them in the management of the house. that

he breaks the ceiling (Nika played the ball), then they make noise after 10 p.m.

A quarter of the eleventh Nick went to the kitchen to drink water).

washing machine (officially washing machines in the house are prohibited, but in

reality they have in everyone and do not bother anyone: New York is not

America, and the inhabitants of cheap rental apartments are far from the same.

Lawful as inhabitants of the American depths.



At the same time, the neighbor himself is not ashamed to knock on the floor all night long and

Moving the furniture. What is known about the mother’s car, which

He lives on the first floor in the same entrance. Old Quincy’s name.

Nick has long since changed his name to Mr. Quakley - this is the name of the opposite

A frog from a children's book.



The story took place in November, when Nike was seven years old and Murzika was seven.

Less than a year. Animals are also prohibited in the house.

Murziki’s existence was kept secret from all his neighbors, and especially from his family.

Mr Quakley is. In a year the cat has never been out on the street and at all except

He lived on the first floor of his grandmother’s apartment, where he sometimes lived.

included in the bag. From this life Murzick developed a neurosis: he is terrible

He was afraid of strangers and when he saw a stranger, he began to run in horror.

In the apartment, looking for the fifth corner.



In fact, despite the prohibition, cats and dogs in their home are no less,

than in any other. There is a vague, but clear enough.

The rule is to be observed: if the animal is still brought and not for a year.

There is no complaint, and it is considered inhumane to separate the beast from others.

hosts, and management ceases to respond to complaints such as "remove

It lives here", and it only responds to extraordinary events.

Like a bite. How do the owners prove that the year has already passed

I do not know. Probably a certificate from a veterinarian. This is an analogy.

An amnesty for illegal citizens is being discussed.



At the time of the events described in Murziku before the transition to legal status

Less than a month. And then there was Thanksgiving. Marking him

It was decided by Grandma. In the morning, Masha cooked and cooked, and closer to the evening.

The procession moved to the first floor. Yasha carried a turkey, Masha - judgment

Salad, and Nick is Murzika.



The cause of the incident was a fateful combination of two circumstances.

First, a cat bag hit somewhere, and the girl carried a cat.

easily wrapped in a shell. Second, there were guests to the neighbor. U is

Mr. Quakley has no less than a dozen children, grandchildren and others.

Crescent, unceremonious and very noisy. Not all year long.

They will be reminded of their existence, but on the Day of Thanksgiving they will be recalled.

full composition to eat fried turkey, in part of the preparation of which

Mr. Quakley, as it will soon be revealed, is a big doc.



At the time when my friends were passing through the second floor, one portion

The younger Quakley was just entering the apartment, and the other was rising from the bottom to the bottom.

The staircase. The noise and noise they produced.

scare and a smoked hippopotam, not just an impressive cat.

Frightened Murzik instantly got out of the shark, stumbled on.

In search of the fifth corner, he entered Mr. Quakley's apartment.



Typical American apartments do not have a hallway, the entrance door opens

Right into the living room. Therefore, Masha from the site could face the phenomenon.

The people in all their glory. Stop-frame: elegantly served long

A table covered with white snow. At the far end it is beautiful.

Cyclopic size fried turkey in appetizing golden

The corner. The next picture: a gray fur vortex is carried on the table,

breaks the drinks, splashes the sauces, throws the bottles on the counter.

with wine and finally impressed in the side of the bird.



Newton's Third Law of Collision with a Kilogram Cat

With a twenty-kilogram turkey, the cat must fly beyond the horizon, and the bird -

Hardly moving from place. But this time, Newton did nothing.

The cat actually flew into the corner, but the turkey also slipped into the corner.

the edge of the table and crumbled on the floor, licking the fat of the sofa and spreading the filling over

The whole room. The young Quakles with a scream and a thump rushed to catch the cat,

sliding on the filling, stumbling on the turkey and decimating the defeat. A is

between them on the floor, on the furniture, on the gardens and almost on the ceiling

Metaled mad Murzik, like a gray lightning.



The unfortunate Mr. Quakley, from rage barely holding the insert in his mouth

He sparked Masha in the face:

I will not leave it that way! I immediately call the police. You are me for everything.

to pay. I’ll get you expelled and your cat eaten. You are

Do you know this is serious?



He was right. The threats were ridiculous. No other women moved in.

of our villages. Not even translated into English. Masha

He immediately calculated in his mind all the options for salvation and chose the only one.

and efficient. With a wide smile to Mr. Quakley, she replied,

Odysseus asks the question:

“I deeply sympathize with you, but why did you think this is our cat? I this

I see the cat for the first time. He just ran out of the street.



It is impossible to say that Mr. Quakley believed her unconditionally, but in any case

The case thought. Nicky was caught up with this betrayal.

her lips, and she was about to cry and betray everyone. See also Masha.

Commanded by:

Yeshua and Nick! You have nothing to stand here. Get food and go to grandmother.

Added a few words in Russian.



As soon as the door closed for the husband and daughter, Masha from a polite Odessa

transformed into a desperate Russian grandmother, who, if necessary, and the cat on

He stops and enters another person’s apartment. It immediately and

She moved back to Mr. Quakley and decidedly entered.

The center of the bedlam ruled in his living room. Moritz, observed in the hostile

I was surrounded by something of her own, rushing to her in her arms. Masha is merciless.

He pulled him away from him and, holding his skin on the extended hand,

Murphy, you have to!They showed all thirteen Quaklems and

Dozens of other neighbors rushing out of their apartments:

“Mr. Queensley, I caught that ugly cat. Now I am him.

I throw out!



With these words, she went down two stairs, opened

He had a heavy entrance door and thrown the cat into the yard. Closed

She shrugged her hands and hid in my mother’s apartment.

Mr. Quakley, finally convinced of the absence of criminal connection

Between the cat and the Russians, he plotted to remove the traces of defeat.



Before following the further fate of Murzick, I will notice that Yasha, himself

The guy is far from a mistake, in difficult situations he has accustomed unconditionally.

Trusting his wife. And this is not very praiseful for a man's quality in this.

The case was impossible.



Entering the flat, Yasha accurately fulfilled Masha's instructions.

(the very few phrases in Russian): immediately go out the window into the yard

and stuck in front of the entrance door in the position of Leo Yashin, ready to reflect

The eleven meters. Half a minute later Murzik flew out of the door.

with a strong machine hand. Promedly Yasha for a moment, the cat would move.

He disappeared forever in the jungle. But Yashin’s throw was

The cat was caught, brought through the window to the grandmother's apartment.

with tears, calmed, worn and fed with the most delicious piece of turkey.





For the next two or three weeks Murzik hid from friends and acquaintances, like Lenin.

in the divide. The neighbors from the management came.

They searched the apartment, found no traces of animals and left.

with nothing. Meanwhile, Masha, who at one time studied as an assistant

Lawyer, introduced into practice all the information learned from the course of psychology

The Witnesses. For example, the fact that things that caused a man to be strong

Emotions seem bigger and brighter than they really are. Or what

People tend to accept what they have heard from others for what they have seen.

With my own eyes. Armed with this information, Masha is not tired.

He told his neighbors about the incident with the cat, without giving any details.

especially based on the fact that the cat was a stranger, and another fictional detail,

Which I will reveal later.



December has been a long-awaited year since the acquisition of Murziki. The Cat

He was sent back to his family and legalized. A few months from Nick.

I persuaded my parents to take the cat out. A crowd of children,

Norwegians look at him and grasp him. Murzick healed from neurosis

Suffice to grumble. Mr. Quakley approached and looked closely.

Masha said accurately:

You said it wasn’t your cat.

What a cat?

The one who humiliated my turkey. He said the first time he

You see, and now your daughter is walking with him.

“Well, you, Mr. Queensley, it was a different cat. My grey and

It was small, and it was huge in size and red.

Like a red?

Red, don’t you remember? All the neighbors saw the cat.

The Red. Don’t believe it, ask anyone.



Nothing more happened. Only Mr. Quakley periodically introduced the

The neighbors talked about cats, and then asked if they knew a good thing about them.

A neurologist. And then the memory began to give up, and the color is already bad.

It differentiates.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an0810/o081009;1.html
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