You don’t seem to be hopeless. You are beginning to see.
My friend, in life it is almost impossible to get everything at once, either measured not very stressful work with a clear regime of the day, or a decent salary. To be different, you have to be born at another time in another universe.
and...
This reminds me of an old truth:
Most of the people in the collage had a horse, but she never became the chairman.