Dmitry: I corresponded with her for two weeks, gentle and foolish, no guy. I agreed to go across the city, I know there is a good cafe. I dressed pretty, bought her flowers, everything was right. We met, she even better than in the photo. Effective such a brunette, curls, heels, a green dress with shades, I, honestly, embarrassed a little.
Well, go with her next to her, we talk about nothing, now, I think, we sit in the cafe, talk. And then suddenly I am like falling under the ground, flying somewhere, grumbling and knocking off my leg when I fall. I stumble and understand what made me unnoticed and the hell knows how to get out of here now.
I call this Katya, and she doesn’t fit, she’s scared, apparently. Oral, oral, are you finally alive? He asks. Yes, live, I scream, call someone for help, I can't get out myself, don't you see what? She walked for another fifteen minutes, no less, I lost her again. I brought, in the end, from the cafeteria of the waitress with an aspirant, I scratched over it. Go out all in the dust, the head in the dust of some, and she stands, smiles, I was taken by evil.
Listen, I say, I could have called him soon, because I could have trembled or drowned there with methane. And she, even if she was honeysome, only spanked, say, say, thank you for not leaving at all, I would sit there like a puppy.
What is the date when such conversations happen? And the shirt is all dirty and the heel hurts, it hurts to walk. Okay, I say, sorry, let me take you to the metro. Go back, both of us are silent.
Soon after, I realized that this wasn’t Catherine. Although the brunette too, and curly, and dressed in green, but that shoe had heels, and this sandal was like the gladiator. And the bouquet is completely different, a yellow one. Mystery in three lists.

Catherine: I met him in the chat, nothing in the photo, he writes with humor. We spoke for half a month, the interests seem to coincide, the poems both love, decided to meet in real. We walk around the city, we go, we talk, the weather is nice, dinner. I see a coffee shop on the corner, you want, I ask, let’s go? He is silent, does not respond. Maybe expensive for him, I think, although I came with a bouquet, not a puddle, so. Just, I say, we sit down, we drink coffee - again silence.
I turn – no one. That is, no one at all, and my cavalier is not, disappeared "like a light stone of the wind." Whether I was upset that I immediately pulled into the cafe, or I just didn't like it, it was so hamsky.
In any case, men do not do this, I was preparing for a date for half a day. Back home, I sat down, thought, and added his page to the blacklist – why am I so ignorant?

Catherine II: On my birthday, I sat down with my girlfriend after work, I drank coffee with cakes, she gave me my favorite fresie.
Then they split up, and I just left the cafe, as I hear that someone is calling me. I turn around, no one like, then I look further, the well without a hole, I look, and there is a guy, apparently fell there, and can not get out.
Well, what to do, we need to help, the Ministry of Emergencies first called - useless, then the doorkeeper of some non-Russian found in the corner, I ask him, he does not understand, only smiles. Then I went back to the coffee shop, where the men-servitors found the lawn in the suitcase and put it in the lounge.
There is a pretty cute guy, dirty all, right. And angry at me, despicable of what, to say, so long saved him! That, I think, is me instead of thankfulness. I told him that I think he was silent, then apologized, offered to go to the subway, and to me what, I went there anyway.
We go, and he touches me, touches me, then asks, “And you, Katya?” I replied, I guessed, and what? No, he says, very nice, my name is Dima. This is our birthday, we have been dating for six months, love seems to us. I sometimes annoy him, and he calls me Catherine II.
I now tell all my friends, there is nothing to sit in social networks and waste time on empty correspondence. You want a serious relationship – go into real life, only there with normal guys and you can get to know – so and write in your mollusks, internet fools.