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 24.04.2017
I once went to the store, not to the supermarket, but such, ordinary, with shelves. There are three departments. I bought cigarettes in one department, well, two hundred rubles conditionally, and calculated five thousand, there were no others. I took the cigarettes, went to another department, sausages there, bread, she put everything in my bag, I took the bag, in my pockets, and money - yok. by Ayia! All the pockets, and the pockets are dark, the jacket, the jeans, inside, outside, on the sleeve, on the knee, I love when the pockets are many, on the shorts still such a piston, I don't know for what, for a joke, or for a condom can, but there I didn't look. In short, everything broke out, broke out, turned out - no money! Where did you go? The phone is on the spot, the passport here, the keys, cigarettes, a lighter, a wallet with cards, and cash - three rubles and tobacco crumbs. Dress up and look at your pants. Because more where? The seller says – maybe you put them by the pocket? And as a whirlwind on the whole shop: "Comrades, here the man dropped the money! Look under your feet!”

The people are like a flock of straws, the heads sharply so into the floor - a thousand. Then of course to me. Everyone is interested in looking at a fucking man with his pockets turned out, who managed to fuck five pieces in a flat place ten meters away.

In short, there is no money, the seller tells me - you go to the box where the cigarettes were taken. Maybe I just forgot to give it? What do I mean – I forgot? This is not a ruble. I even remember putting them in my pocket! But I went in any case. Nothing to do anyway.

I go to the department and there are no sellers. There are some three patents in a row, I ask – where is Madame? They ran out on the street for a fool. I forgot a fool.

I jump out on the street, the butterfly throws, and this beautiful woman, on her bare feet, ten meters from the doorstep, is trying to pair my surrender to some man. He goes away, what kind of money? And she said, "What do you make me nervous in the cold! You just bought cigarettes from me!” A good man honestly caught up, or maybe just confused. You go like yourself from work, breathe cold air, and there is a grandmother thrown from behind, in t-shirts and hats, with a bunch of money. A divorce or a divorce.

In short, it all ended well. I approach the house, behind the keys in the pocket of utilities, I feel, - ah, money in place. It is good. But! No keys, no passports, no phone, no cigarettes, no lights. Nothing is! I left it all on the drawer.

Back to the store. Thank God, everything was in place, I took everything, the saleswoman blinked at me, saying that if the day did not go, then by night it would be lucky. Okay well. I came home, already with the keys, with the passport, getting shorter, shopping, cigarettes, bread, sausages, money - four eight hundred. You are Tiff! I forgot to pay for the products. Go back what to do.

The seller laughs. He thought of me. No is. He says - after your departure, we have forgotten about you, a strange man is walking around the store. Walks and Walks. You will look here, under the refrigerator, under the shelf. I ask a man, what are you looking for? He is looking for money. Have you lost money? Yes not! One man is lost and I am looking for him.

He was very saddened when he found out that he had already found everything without him. He said, “Well, give me a beer then, I honestly sought it!”
They were expelled. Gave a bottle of beer and put it on the frost.
The cruel people.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1704/o170423.html#1
Eng

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