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 22.05.2017
Bad apartment

Sometimes I invest in property. I am far from a magnat. Rather a scorpion. Every few years I try to buy a house or apartment. I bring them to the divine appearance, repair, put household appliances and give away. I will not say that this is a difficult business, but of course there are features. Per the most important aspect is to properly identify good apartment owners. If you have the right people, you will be lucky. And the money will be the concern at a minimum. But if you didn’t guess, then you’re going to crack the sitch and you’ll still have to stay. Morality is simple, if you do not take things seriously, it is better not to take them at all.

I felt good with all the apartments, but one was like a curse. No, I’m not saying that there’s a evil force like Stephen King’s 1408, but something there was definitely not. Judge yourself, this is what happened in this “bad apartment.”

I found my first apartment when I was in Russia. The family moved from Florida, sounded normal on the phone. The papers formed without seeing each other. The error came out. It turned out that it was a sad builder and his wife with mental disorders with 4 children. Not everything is from him. All different flowers. They had quarrels and scandals with their neighbors every day. First they paid, then they stopped. He expelled them. At the end was a gift. They found themselves in the apartment kept the underground salon of sunburn and after leaving left me the electricity bill for... it hurts even to remember how much.

A small mistake happened. The following tenants were carefully selected during the next short-term arrival in this city. A young couple. Friends from childhood. Lovely girl and guy. She is a white American, he is a Puerto Rican. “How we love each other, la-la-topola. We are finally together. and our nest. Oh how wonderful.” You are wonderful and I am wonderful. They lived for six months, I came back to visit, went to them. Both black clouds do not talk. He takes me aside and says, Sorry of course, but I am leaving. What so? and she? Fuck her with her. She was pregnant, not him. She doesn’t rent, and I’m looking for clients again.

I was in a hurry, literally in a few days. Another couple arrived. These are husband and wife. This is how I felt that they did not need to settle, but rushed back to the Russian Federation. P***c started immediately, then you would stop paying immediately. She had her own business, making special food for dogs. I put something in the recipe, a lot of dogs hit. Now she is being tried by everyone from Korea to Warsaw and she has no money, everything goes to lawyers. I started to judge them, but they disappeared from the apartment, but they didn’t ruin anything.

Asked a relative to find someone, only adequate! The following arrived. She is a good woman, but her son is not of this world. A child over 30 years, not dumb, not imbecile, not sick, but everything else is also from the word "no". He doesn’t drive, he doesn’t want to work. His mother wipes his nose, cleans his ears, leads his pen. Eventually, she forced him to go to work. She herself smelled like a diesel in the stove, but she is not iron. On a bad day, a heart attack. And not her. Son, sorry, the ass can't wipe out, not what to pay for the apartment. Thank God, his uncle appeared and took the baby away. I am looking for tenants again.

I had already thought of selling the apartment, but here again the tenants painted. Another young couple. He is the master of the kitchen by order, carpenter. She is from a family with old money. Where did he put that cage? What did she find in it? She did not like it immediately. Neighbors are rough, there are few flowers on the street, where my personal laque, why the lamps burn not a pleasant blue color and the sirene smells different. In his place, I would have struck her. But he endured.

In the end, she decided that the neighbors were trying her innocence and demanded that he accompanied her in the morning and met her in the evening with a gun. Our Othello began to do so. Several times he even threatened someone with a gun. If I don’t get to the police, I don’t mind. I received collective letters demanding to remove the idiots from the house. They paid the rent clearly. The year has ended and they have gone too.

Am I not tired yet? We continue. Two dogs came in. No, they paid the rent, I will not lie. They have poured a lot of blood on me and my family. I will not list anything, but because of every little thing they were exhausted by the nerves. The refrigerator was broken. “Hey how is it? The nightmare! urgently! The new one!” Okay I ordered. Not that came. A scandal for Ivanka. Order it yourself. No you must! well well. Arrived this.
Why was she left at the entrance? Why didn’t they knock on the door? Would she be stolen?! to

And so on, why did the neighbors put their box on their washing machine? I am I. Or, oh gods of gods, a neighbor boy left his bicycle at the door! It is unbearable to live with such neighbors.

Then they somehow changed the locks at the entrance door and did not give any of the neighbors a copy of the keys. You can imagine scandals. I did not want to rent them anymore. Just go away. I spent a year with these suckers.

But the following tenants broke all the records. I was not there, my relative found an apartment. Just the crown of this panopticum. The mountain man. There are rarities in the movies. Well, such a lot of meat with tattoos and bald head. Here is here. He said as he cut off - I buy the apartment without looking. I will not live here. “Do you fuck it?” My sons will live there. The good guys. I’ll send you a lease.”

I did not lie. The rent came like a clock. I am happy, my family is happy. No one calls, everything is fine. Meanwhile, these “good boys” carried out boiling activities. Initially, they began to sell drugs. Then a small optometrist. The family business did not last long, the elderly sat safely. The younger, found a partner who settled in the apartment and they continued no longer family business. Then the younger sat down. The partner found another partner and also settled. Business is not family business. In the apartment they started to live unclear who.

Soon the animals and incomprehensible constantly changing ladies of different ages appeared. Neighbors were afraid to come out. But the funniest thing is, the rent comes like a clock. The mountain man is a man of words. Bablo sends, although he lives in another state.

Finally, at night in Peter, my phone rings. I barely understood who bothered the Count at night. A neighbor calls and cries at the phone. “I have endured it, but I can’t now. SWAT arrived in your apartment (this is a kind of police special forces). The situation is simple as a spice, the already incomprehensible abricks who settled in my "bad apartment" somehow lured into the house of some girls associated with competitors. I will not reveal the details, but their screams raised the whole district. They did not want to release the girls entirely, they promised to release them in parts. Then SWAT arrived.

They took my apartment by assault. The girls were released, not especially they were injured. But here the uninvited residents were “treated” beautifully. The next day there is another rental check. I call my relative, “Are you looking at the grass?” “What to look at, it’s all right there. No one calls, the money comes. “Hello,” I replied, “come and see.”

The next day he calls, “Did you know you had an apartment?” I said, “Yeah, what was that mean?” He pleases me with the following "well floor and part of the walls you still have. SWAT turns out to be the angry and hot Estonian guys.” “Call this little man,” I scream, “and I’ll come in a day.”

And this is a surprising turn, but two days later this redner came from Colorado. I saw the apartment and I was terrified. It turns out he didn’t even know that his sons had been hot for a long time. Then he exploded with a speech, “I was sitting, but I’m a different person now. I will fix it and repay it.” My relatives just nodded, but gave him the spare keys.

A couple of weeks later I arrived, we went to the house together. He scares me with horrors, I am already in a semi-infarct state. We are here, yo-yo. Where is the horror? Where are the ruins of Kensington? Where are the boys bloody in their eyes? Apartment with a needle. Everything was cleaned, repaired, painted, replaced. Only the door into one of the closets is pierced as if it was shotgun shotgun. The rest is just great.

The letter lies. “Sorry guys that it happened. I leave you a check for $1,000. If you need to subjugate something, use that money. The rest, send it back. I gave the address.” This is such a rarity. I have not even seen the horror.

Then the miracle happened. We had a small but good family. Quiet and paid decently. This is good. Truth is boring.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1705/o170521.html#13
Eng

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