bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ]
 22.11.2017
Your and Retrograde Amnesia

Victor Semenovich is a tall, still strong, seventy-year-old old man, for four months as he buried his wife and learned to live alone. It felt bad, as if he had never lived without her. He often began to talk to himself to get valuable advice on household management.

But Victor Semonych was not worried about this so far, because in his profession he is a psychiatrist and used to keeping everything under control. Stress does not happen to people, so to break a couple of words with a smart person is still within the norm.

Oh, he would have had children with grandchildren, but the children did not get, it didn’t work.

One Sunday morning, the phone ringed and pulled Victor Semonych out of the warm bath. Victor Semonych did not expect anything good from this, he has not expected anything good from life for four months, and in his predictions he has never been wrong.

The Uzbek courtman called and told something in Uzbek-Russian.

It was very strange and disturbing, because Victor Semonych did not give his numbers to any courtiers, he did not even know their names, he just greeted, passing by.

The old man listened to the meaning and hardly found out that the courtier found some lost "white dog", saw the phone number on the necklace and called.

In a word, they are waiting below at the entrance. The main strange thing was that Victor Semenovich had nothing like the "white dog" has never been and can not be, he was generally an opponent of the animals in the house.

But the old man did not argue, because without gesture, you will not argue with the Uzbek especially.
Despite throwing his coat over his pyjamas, he put a feather pen into his pocket for self-defense, and went out of the entrance.

At the threshold smokers in orange vests smoked, and in their legs trembled a small, wet from rain, a white bullterrier and looked at the sides with caution.

But as soon as the dog noticed Victor Semenovich, he stopped trembling, loudly stumbled and rushed to the old man, as the drowning rushes to the rescue circle. The puppy jumped around the affected Victor Semenovich, surely trying to jump to him on the fingers. Eventually, the dog succeeded.
The courtiers smiled and said, "I recognized the master, Maldives," they picked up their blades with butterflies, said goodbye and left, and the old man with a flattered face, remained standing under the frozen rain and with a strange loving puppy in his arms. On the necklace was indeed a copper plate with the engraving of the phone number and the name: "Viktor Semenovich"

What to do? and? Where is him? Here, the fox, squeezed his new coat.
- Well, in theory, a dog, although the most complete anti-health, but for a person in your position, a useful thing, especially, this dog immediately loved you as a son. Bring it home soon, or lie down here after bathing.
No, and there is nothing to think about, you need to take it somewhere urgently.
Where are you going to be in your pyjamas and home shoes? On the necklace is the phone and the name of the owner. Their name.
Yes, but who’s that bad joke?
What is humor?
- Well, anyway, it is necessary: to walk, castrate, tie, unbind, feed, treat, then these rabies vaccines, plus the nails cut every month. Will you deal with all this?
- You have two higher education, nothing, you will manage, but daily walks in the fresh air will not hurt you, especially since nails are, like cats.
No stupid, not even funny. You attend lectures almost every day. How will you leave him at home? In general, do you need to surrender it to a dog pet, shelter, cattle base, or what they call it?
The Scotch base? Well well well. Look the truth in the eyes. And suddenly it's your dog, you won it, lost it and so upset that you wiped out these events from your memory? In your state, this is possible, not in vain here is a sign. Can you throw it out so easily? Think, old idiot, what would it be like for this dog, who, by the way, knows and loves you, to be in an incomprehensible place, among completely strange people? If you have forgotten the name, call for Vasya and don’t be upset, then you’ll remember. No one has ever died of Korsakov syndrome. Take yourself in your arms, go home, drink vitamins and calm down.

A year later, the professor broke. Time and daily walks in the desert did their job. Vasya turned into a giant white fat sable-toothed horse, but with a very good temper. Victor Semenovich comes with him to work every day, and already at the institute he releases a basket for papers. A dog sits on a chair all day and smiles to anyone who tastes a cake.

One day, a large group of students entered the professor's office, they, squeezing their heads, shrugged, grabbed Vasa's ear, and then confessed that they wanted the best and apologized for the hat. There was no amnesia - it was they who bought Vasa in an elite pet shop, ordered a collar plate, spoke to the courtiers, but, most importantly, before the birth of the puppy, stole the old cap of Victor Semenovich at the department. On this very cap, the mother gave birth and fed Vasa, so he loved his master so much before their first, historic meeting at the entrance.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2017-11-21/#918454
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna