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 20.01.2019
Police and thieves. There are two sides of the barricade called the Law. The thief steals, the policeman catches. “The thief must sit in prison!” said the hero of the popular film. The police are obliged to protect law-abiding citizens from criminals. It is in theory. In practice, you are facing the opposite phenomenon. I didn’t believe that the police would protect a hot criminal caught from law-abiding citizens. It turns out that it is so. Moreover, the thief knows that the police are on his side. The thief entered the house, stole, was caught with a barrel, did not have time to escape, surrendered, did not resist. Called the police hand in hand. And where will he be taken? In a prison? In a few hours he is home. How is it? But so, in fact, nothing is missing, there is no public danger, for which he is in jail. And if they were caught and the thief began to bull, to suck with pins. The question is, can I put him in the mouth? Wouldn’t this be an excess of the necessary defense? Although it happens so.
Middle of the 90s. The employee bought an apartment. Repaired, furnished new furniture and moved. Invited to New York. We fell down with the entire brigade, bought gifts, gathered together with a warm company, drank, ate a snack, talked. They departed. According to the owner of the apartment.
I got the test great. I don’t remember being in bed. Woke up at night. The dryer presses, water needs to be drunk urgently. I go into the salon, I don’t turn on the lights, I see the shadow melting. Probably she also drank water.
Arkadij Semenovich, is it you?
Quietly, what you eat, you rebuild the whole house. The voice of the witch came from behind.
Ferguson, who is in the apartment. I turn on the light and see a young man in the corner.
Boy, what are you doing here?
Silence is disgusting.
Are you a deaf, a fool? How did you get here?
Volodya, maybe he doesn’t speak Russian.
Now he will catch up on the bread, he will immediately talk.
What are you doing, shit?! to
The boy becomes on four and with the size a couple of times applied a moustache on the floor. Smelling blood from a broken nose and a broken lip, he declares in pure Russian:
Now you give me a thousand shekels and I will leave. If you don’t, I’ll tell the police that you beat me.
To say that I’m squeezed is not to say anything. Here is the statement. Enter to bomb the apartment, hit and still demands. The shore was over. The test was not confused.
Let us let him go.
He shows me out the window. Here I also understood. In two jumps jumped to this hideous, I beat the penalties on his backs, and while he holds them - I add the roses. The test takes him by the hands – I by the legs and one or two in the window. The third floor, high, but under the windows of the bungalow is growing. The bushes are high, coarse, will not die, although the mouth will strike considerably. From the bottom there were cries, bushes, mat. After ten or fifteen minutes there was silence.
Testo went to the kitchen, I followed, drank minerals, smoked to calm the nerves and broke up to sleep.
In the morning, at nine o’clock, a call in the intercom. I see the police. I open, they go up to us on the floor and straight into our apartment. Two people come in, a boy and a girl.
You have a complaint. You are accused of attacking a young man, beating him, taking the money and throwing it out of the window.
The victim asks: where and when did the robbery happen?
About 10 p.m. in your apartment.
Idiot, I couldn’t think of anything more plausible.
“Mr. police officer, I’m not asking how your victim got into the apartment, I’m wondering how you can rob and beat a person in front of a dozen and a half guests? You see, we celebrated the new home yesterday and the guests were about twelve. How can you imagine the robbery in the eyes of so many people, including women and children? Your victim lies as he breathes. If you want the names, phone numbers and addresses of all guests, talk to them. I will make a list for you now.
The policeman walked around the room, looked at the window, looked out the window.
How do you explain the traces on the window and broken bushes under your windows?
I also looked out the window, pretended to be studying the traces on the window, examined the floor under the window.
So I knew. Tell me, is the victim accidentally not numbered in your file? Why do I think so? I have a higher education and I read books. And a good idea. He went to the window to clean the apartment, broke up, scratched his mouth in the bushes, and in the morning: “I was beaten, robbed...”, he didn’t write there that he was also raped?
The police officer asked a few more questions: where I work, who else lives in the apartment. The woman wrote a protocol.
With your words, we have drawn up a protocol. Please read and sign.
Yes of course. All the good.
I heard them calling their neighbors on the staircase, then walking around other apartments, but all the neighbors were also in our new home. You see, it’s been almost two weeks, until it’s been quiet, it’s not called, it’s not called.
This is such a story. I can add that I was also called and asked for the party for a long time. What could I say? Only those who were and who drank. I was struck by the question itself. Police are on the guard of the thief. I don’t think this is his first theft – according to Volodya, he was too aggressive. No wonder he has a lawyer. He is also a frequent visitor to the police. As the saying goes, “Whoever, except a thief, should sit in jail.” Fantasy in Reality.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2019-01-19/#992991
Eng

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