bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ]
 01.11.2019
The Horse Cemetery

This story happened exactly two years ago, on the same wet October day as it is today.
He was a farmer and still lives well. He lives and pastures from morning to evening on his farm, three hours drive from Perm. A few horses, a little cows, and a lot of unnatural dogs, so that there is somebody to whisper under their feet and whisper.
Funly painted vans were driving along the track, but their playful color did not add a drop of joy to the autumn landscape. It was clear, because it was a circus. The circus turned off the road and began to run towards the farm.
The dogs decided to call the owner and his tractor.
The owner arrived.

- Good morning, sorry, you don't sell us a little seed, carrots, there, cabbage, in general, what you have. Everything would be useful. The animals are hungry and we are afraid that not everyone will eat.
The farmer replied, saying, why not sell, clarified the volumes and called the price quite divine.
The circus ridiculed, looked around and replied that they had ten times less money. So it happened.

The farmer nodded his forehead, said goodbye to the people of the art and used it back on his tractor.
But frightened circusmen took the tractor captive, fell on their knees and begged to sell at least some food.
When the uncle cried out again from the tractor and looked into the fun circus van, he was numb of horror and anger.
The beasts were so weak and weak that it was not immediately clear who were the horses, who the camels, who the donkey, and who the goat? After all, the skeletons with tight skin are quite difficult to determine.
The man from the heart roasted the mat of irresponsible animals and simply, without money, gave them a whole bunch of food.
To feed their unhappy animals, and for the remaining money to buy something later when the food is over again.
What kind of animals do you need to be, mother-to-be, in order to bring animals to such a state?! to
All in the same spirit.
The circusers thanked for a long time, someone even slid, and then one asked:

"Sorry, for the arrogance, you have helped us immeasurably, and can you not ask for a half-hour spat?
Why is this yet?
Yes, the trouble with us, the daily draw ended. I was born yesterday. He never stood up. The patient was all, could hardly breathe, could not even drink. His mother was there, you saw it yourself. Glad she is still alive.
The artists, the flies! Take it from Sarasota, just get it back.
Of course of course. Where can we bury him here?
The cock! You make me happy more and more! Well, out there, you will cross the road, retreat to the forest at least ten meters and bury there, but not only a little bit, but deeper, two sticks.
A lot of thanks! We will leave quickly and soon.

It passed an hour and a half and the farmer from a distance saw that the circusers seemed to have excavated the pit, but they did not share something there and began to argue.
Finally one of them brought a spade and, turning his eyes to the side, said:

I’m sorry for God’s sake, but this is the case. We noticed that he was still breathing. You will not seek him with a lap, and you will bury him alive, somehow there is no way out. Can I ask you? Sorry for the greed. Can you dig him down afterwards, but you don’t know how much he will end up giving? Maybe an hour or maybe until evening. We need to go, we have a schedule. and?
to affix! The circus is gone, but the clowns remain. Where are you in my head? Go away so I can’t see you here again. The funeral of yours.
The circus dispersed in thanksgiving, gave up gases and disappeared.
The farmer came to the excavated tomb, looked at the unfortunate beetle and didn’t realize himself – he was breathing, or already... no, like his eyes crumbled.
It rained so badly that it wasn’t fun to sit under the grave for so long.
I wanted to go home, but it was a pity for the poor, because to die alone in the pit, and also in the rain, somewhere under Perm...
I had to go to Sarai for the car.
He went down, returned, pulled the unfortunate out of the grave, loaded and led to die under the veil.

Two years have passed and I and my filming team have accidentally come to this farm to ask for a horse with a chariot, if there is one in the farm.
The farmer was happy to help. He straightened for us his favorite, whom he usually never straightened into the cart. The pet does not work at all as a horse, rather it performs the decorative role of a playful cat. A 500-kilogram cat named a clown. Well, even if you did not sleep at night, fed him out of the nipple, spent on veterinarians and medicines as much as two horses, then you will not smell on such a cat. The clown looks like a pony, but the pony is the size of a huge Vladimir heavyweight, only the legs are shorter.
How I wanted to push him. Although, what a sin to hide, I pressed him a little.
But most of all, the clown struck our sound operator. He had never met a horse before who’t be afraid of a mouthy microphone on a long stick.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2019-10-31/#1054794
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna