bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ]
 11.08.2020
I recently got a cat, Maine Coon. Healthy such a cat with brushes on the ears, a born hunter. The red cat, serious, the sheriff I called him. I live in a private house, in a sufficiently warm climate, in such a way that the cockroaches here are street insects.

Nevertheless, the cockroaches love to fly home. And once they flood, they no longer leave there themselves.

So, my newly acquired cat has done them genocide.

Turtles are not very afraid of people, because they move much sharper than us. By the way, if desired, they can fly, but this desire does not often arise in them. And not to escape from people - they are just lazy to escape from us.

But this is a different thing with the cat, I observed it thoroughly.

At first, the Sheriff was shy and did not go anywhere beyond the first floor, and at the first he was more and more hiding under the washing machine. Then he mastered, dared and took on the cockroaches. They did not immediately figure out who they were dealing with, first tried to escape. ha ha! When he hit their hordes by the edak three times, they began to try to fly away from him. God helps them. My ceilings are low, two and a half meters, and the Maine Coon jumps one and a half meters away.

The cockroaches ended up on the first floor very quickly, and the defects fled to the second, where the bedrooms. Previously, they did not get there, I even had time to be upset by their invasion, but not very strongly and not very long.

The Sheriff has a special love for cockroaches. No, he also catches flies, but without enthusiasm, but cockroaches are passion. Therefore, convinced that the cockroaches were finished on the first floor, he stumbled onto the second. Here the ultimate star almost arrived.

The cockroaches move quietly, you will not hear them at night. But the sheriff is not obsessed with such nonsense. That is, going out for hunting, he also does not make any noise, but when he catches the victim, it sounds like this: "shshsh-sh-sh-bdm, urrr!..." Bdm, it’s a jump, and urrr, it’s already when the cockroach is in his legs.

He took them all out on the second floor, and then walked a few days unhappy again, until he discovered the presence of a loft with a billiard table. This is where the real disco began, and late at night.

The scene is like this – I sleep peacefully, suddenly I hear “ba-ba!!!” I wake up in a cold sweat – what? Where is? is incomprehensible. Here is the “ba-ba!” from above. I run to the roof - the sheriff is on the table, two billiard balls roll on the floor, and between the sheriff's legs the last is sick. And Edak proudly looks at me, saying, “See, master?”

Now the house is sterile. The sheriff sits down the first floor again sadly, breathes up and asks his bullshit, "When will we hunt again, right?"
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2020-08-10/#1133370
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna