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 14.04.2021
On the neighboring street in a small courtyard, a shale under the open sky, on the curtain a sign: "Delicious shale." Two tables under the tent. There is no one in the shale, only a young Armenian stands at the mangal.
“Come, dear, look, the prices are here, the shale is all kinds of.
I look at prices. The Armenian stared at me.
Why are you so sad?
and nothing. Everything is OK, thank you.
My wife is in trouble, right?
not married.
I mean, with a girl. Wife, bride, girlfriend – what’s the difference? I look in the eyes. Worried eyes are a problem with money. Tired eyes are a problem at work. Sad eyes are a woman’s problem.

What if I was wearing dark glasses?

I have an eye problem, yes. In such a dark day, what dark glasses, dear?

He laughs. The right tooth is missing.

Take a pork, my dear. Baraka would have suggested, but the baraka has seen a lot in this life. Don’t take a barrel, take a pig, don’t think.

Give me a pig. Is there onion?

Is it like without onions? I put more. Here is a good strawberries, look: one meat, no strawberries, soft - would eat, but money is needed.

I approve of. The Armenian hides the bills in the pockets of the fork and puts the shale on the mangal.

“Don’t be upset about the girl,” he says. You have to be happy about the girl.

On a single-use plate he puts a bowl of marinated onions, presses ketchup from a bottle next to him, and himself explains at this time the thought:

Do you know what my grandfather said? Women are like a field. If you plant little, it will grow little. If you sow a lot, it will grow a lot. Nothing grew – maybe nothing sowed?

I sat, I said.

A lot of seeds? The voice is pretended to be harsh.

Good thing, I regret it.

So the field is just stones, says the Armenian. Every good thing should come back to man. Do you love her? Do you give gifts, say words, do help? I am waiting for my kiwi. And what is she?

I shake my shoulders.

It’s all wrong, he shakes his hand. “Look, you came to me, you gave me money, I’m making you a shale. An honest exchange, right? If I take money and I don’t make a scam, what kind of scammer am I? Will you give me money again?

That is money, I say. Money is not the main thing in relationships.

So I didn’t promise you to give birth to an inheritor, only to make a shale! Armenians shake their hands. Who is talking about money? Money is nonsense! So, there’s something to buy! I am talking about you. You give yourself. What do you get back?

Relationships are a little more complicated than with a shuffle.

Nothing is more complicated. You think, “People are complex, people are different.” Psychology and approach. It has to be simple with people. I gave a lot, I got a lot. If you give and don’t get, why give again?

What if otherwise?

The Armenian turns the shampoo on the mangal.

If you walk in a shoe and the shoe is shaking, what does it mean? The size is not yours. The shoe is not yours. Take, put beyond the threshold - whoever fits, will take, thank you will say. You will buy another shoe, right? If a woman doesn’t love you, what does it mean?

At the threshold?

Why the threshold? A man can’t be over the threshold, it’s not a shoe. You get up, you go away, you look in the mirror, dear?

It happens.

You go out and see a lot of women.

of course.

You see yourself in the mirror, yes. You are alone and there are many women around you. I have to find my own. Look, he is on the street, he is. Come and ask – suddenly yours?

I will smile. The Armenian man straight up and strikes the girl’s hand:

The girl! The girl! Come and meet the young man. Shakes at the institution!

The girl on the move shows him the middle finger. The Armenian nodded his head, laughing said:

An uncultured girl. Do not need such.

No need of any.

and e! I'll tell you like a shale: you can live a whole life without a shale, and nothing will happen. Without a woman cannot.

Remove the shampoo from the mangal and put it on a plate.

But don’t give up on the shake as well. In a couple of days, the barrel will be fresh - you will lick your fingers, enter. What a good shit, I will always tell you. You will find a good woman. Be careful, it is hot! A pleasant appetite.

Here’s where else could I get a psychotherapy session at the price of a shale, plus a free shale? The pork is soft, no veins, one meat, and a lot of onions.

I go after tomorrow.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2021-04-12/#1203480
Eng

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