If I had been a little more refined and intelligent, I would have written now, most likely so – I would have visited today in the caring legs of the homeland. But since I am a person of a simpler configuration, I also summarize less sophisticatedly – I, guys, was dealing with the rarest hernia today.
It all started with the fact that I scratched out of an analogue mailbox, which, by the way, I check very rarely, along with paper spam, notification of a custom mail on my name.
The trial was a terrible blast on a piece of paper, and I, mindfully overtaking all my crimes, went, in any case, pityfully dragging my leg, to receive this very letter to the mail.
In the mail, by the way, I also get very rarely, because somehow it happened that I use other delivery services, so I did some tour.
Good for the mail! You can easily buy a shrimp in a tomato sauce, it is placed directly on their bench, as well as a model of a mail machine, vermicell, sugar and vegetable oil of the middle price segment. Skannwords “Technin language” and the newspaper “AIDS-info”.
Okay, joke, there are no newspapers, but it’s a pity.
The walls, indeed, are all the same, scattered and painted in a man-hating, dirty-beige tone, but on one of them hangs now a screen on which an elegant line moves. and cultural! and progressive! It is innovative!
I took a pocket, received a sinister message, and opened the door.
A judge of our district court writes to me and reports that I am an evildoer and a scapegoat, and that the people of the ruler have filed a lawsuit against me for misconduct, and if I do not repay it within the specified time limit, it is ordered to deal with me dishonestly.
The amount of debt is worth. To be honest, not solid. Four hundred and sixty whole and seventy-eight copies above. A very large amount! Even with myself, before that I was a widespread gentleman.
Left away from my not very Slavic heart, I breathed out with relief. It is understandable! If it was for what I thought, then yes, and here - five hundred rubles all they want.
I grabbed my glasses (the damned computers killed my sick eye) I read - why is this for me. It turns out that he did not pay taxes three years ago for some real estate, which he had long since dropped from his balance sheet. How it came out, I did not understand, but the amount is not offensive, went to the bank. Why at the bank? Well, because the judge orders to bring a paper copy of the payment together with the original as proof of payment.
I came to the bank. There is good too! The walls are new, a pleasant green color, a cute girl explains everything to everyone, while offering to buy a silver coin in the shape of Crimea or a lottery ticket.
There is no gold? I ask the girl.
No, the girl replied sickly. Will you take the lottery?
I’m not lucky, sweetheart, in cards and other gambling, I say.
Well, so in love luck — sadly answers sweet and lags behind me, switching to the next client.
I am approaching my window, wearing a paper, yes, say, and so, I wish to pay with a guilty head, please accept cash. And the aunt on the back of the window and says to me in a human voice - it is not possible to do this, crash. The records you mistakenly printed, there is no payment for such details.
Okay... Okay! I am not a proud prince, I am a merchant. He swallowed, squeezed in his fingers and nodded to the lord's eye looking - the correct requisites to correct.
He came, removed the hat even without entering the fence, and left a sad and painful appearance on his face.
Immediately to see - when a man dies, and he tries! As if he had fallen, and he did not shake anything.
I walked through the cabinets – and they gave me the correct numbers. And why, I ask, the case came to court, why did they just not send a notification and waited three years?
And therefore, they answer me, you will know a lot — you will soon become old, you will lose the remnants of the already weak, let’s say, reason, you will begin to confuse the fundamental with the secondary and thin, you will die gloriously in the utmost forgetfulness. understandably?
How not to understand? Thank you for science. Thanks for the reception!
Why were the records initially incorrectly printed - not even started to bump. Obviously, they have so many things to do, not as small as me.
Back to the bank. Same, but a little more different. There the Crimea was not offered, but I personally saw a coin on the vitrine with Victor our Tsoi and Nicholas the Miracle Maker. She understands herself – I am neither of the one nor of the other – but it is very beautiful, of course. It looks brilliant and extremely rich. I approve of this!
I paid without adventure, I come to court. There is a guard in the latter! Naturally, two wives stand both in armoured jerseys. They are attacked by them, it is unclear what happened to the dracula, but he did not clarify the sin. Because I am already nervous about all the previous ones, and they clearly miss them. Where, I say, the judge, I brought him the payments. Now, they answer, you will have a judge.
The woman comes out strict in years and in a funeral dress. He looks at me, on papers and a terrible bass is interested - and where is the gentleman? There was a lady!
I answer her with the loudest voice, that the people of the ruler told me that if in time to repay everything voluntarily, without the use of clothes and oaks, then the government duty to pay - it is not necessary. It is not for what in such an arrangement of her, I pay for her birth.
The judge whispered badly at me, and went away, swallowing the folds of the dress somewhere in the depths of the office and there loudly, so that I could hear, to find out from someone unseen behind the door, whether my words are true. My words were confirmed by someone invisible, and they were added to my address some definition, which if desired could be taken for anti-Semitism, but I was not offended at all, because here everything is right.
The judge told me that my trial was closed, and I went out with the feeling of spending three hours in the light of God in vain, pure, impeccable and not worthy of anyone.
Honestly, it is not clear why they needed all this, because the papers and postal expenses and other charges clearly went out for a large amount. Why hasn’t there been any news for three years? And why all developing republics overseas billions are forgiven, and to me, because of the incomplete five hundred rubles, almost all the accounts were not blocked - the hell knows it.
Oh well okay. But even though the coins were beautiful, I visited the mail. Well, I generally felt that I didn’t care about my homeland, she remembers me and knows my address very well.
It is pleasant.