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 03.12.2021
He sat on the next seat in the train Nuremberg – Munich. I suspected a Russian in him and was going to talk when his phone ringed.

Hi Katie! He said in the telephone. Okay, I am going to the airport. I will see you tonight. I bought Lego, I also bought a doll. I bought you something. No, I’m not going to hint, just guess. You will like. All I kiss. where? At home, the neighbor is listening.

The Wife? I asked.
The Wife. Don’t believe, every three months I go on a business trip and every time I can’t wait to come back. I miss her and my kids so much, even if you don’t drive. But I can’t, the job is good, I’m a feeder.
Such love is rare in our time. How are you so lucky?
Let me tell you. You are in Munich, right?

Apparently, Deutsche Bahn has a roadside frankness not worse than the Russian poster, so I listened to his confession, which I will try to convey.

It started with a friend calling me to the shelters. I’m not a fan of unfamiliar companies, but Serege really needed someone to take him away, and I was the ideal candidate: with a car, I hardly drink and at that time I was completely free. Mom and grandmother tried to introduce me to someone, but I refused, looking for the only one.

They arrived. I cuddly met someone, bite a cuddle and soon got bored by drunk conversations. Decided not to waste a whole day of his only life, go fishing, there Oka is not far away. He went into the car for the wheels, and there came a girl to me. Carey eyes on half-face, puffy lips, bust, waist. T-shirts in the weight. He asks:
Are you on the river? Take me with you? I want to go for a walk, not with anyone, everyone is already drunk. I am Katya.
Maxim said.

The fish were lucky that time. We wandered on the shore for four hours, and there was no talk for four hours. There were common interests, and so she listened enthusiastically, so she caught me in half a word that I could not break away. I went back to the company when it was already dark. My sergeant was dressed up to complete disappearance, he was laid overnight. The others were a little better. And Katya received a SMS and said that she urgently needs to go to Moscow. Something was there with my father, or he fell from the stairs, or he just got bad. Of course, I suggested to take it, along the way we talked. The phone did not give.

I played Sherlock Holmes this morning. Through Seregina, the social network (the Instagram was not yet there, but something was, whether Facebook or VK) found participants of the shashkel, with whom he had time to meet, interrupted their friends and friends of friends. Katy was not found. But three days later she wrote herself, found me in the same way. Unlike her, I had an open profile. I decided to go for a walk in Colombo. Four hours of talk and a farewell kiss. Only one kiss, but such that the pink fog in the head did not let go after very long.

They began to meet, but a veil of mystery waved over her. When I called her somewhere, she was almost always busy. When she called, I dropped all my business and went. What did we do? They walked, walked around Moscow, ate dinner somewhere, sometimes went to a club or to a concert. I always paid, but it wasn’t stressful, it was within my income. The stress was that after a month I still didn’t know where she was studying and working, with whom she lived – sometimes it was said that with her parents, sometimes – that she rented an apartment with a girlfriend. Even the name of her did not know, we transcribed in the messenger, where she appeared under the nickname. “There must be a mystery in a woman,” she replied to every attempt to penetrate her life deeper.

When I was overwhelmed by such an uncertainty, she suddenly asked:
Why don’t you ever invite me?
And I called ten times, she always refused. At that time he was not ready to receive guests, there was, gently speaking, a solitary mess at home, but not to miss such an event. Even in the elevator, she pressed to me with all her body, and when we entered the apartment, it became absolutely unimportant where I was rolling and how many mice hanged in the refrigerator. I’m not a puritan, I know a lot about girls, but what she did with me then – some elements I didn’t even see in porn. There is no night left, again urgent. And I was ready for everything again, only if it would happen again one day.

It was repeated only a couple of times, more often she restricted me to a walk and dinner, and even more often she wrote that she was very busy. Gradually the communication disappeared. And suddenly, after two months of silence, she writes: "My girlfriend's birthday, they removed a cottage in Moscow, will you go with me?"

Cottage was in the Yaroslavl region, but okay, we arrived. A bunch of cars in the yard and behind the gates, a crowd of people in the house. Everyone joyfully begins to embrace Katya, she is there the soul of society. They look at me with astonishment. When we ate and drank and scattered around the house in small groups, I accidentally heard a piece of Katie's conversation with the name. Well, by chance – turned within the hearing range from her, you can say that I listened. I hoped to find out something about her.

What is Maxim? Asked the name. What about Tolkien?
What is Tolik? Katya answered indignantly. There’s no bullshit, forget it. He was sleeping. I am a free man, I do what I want.

She got away from my friend and found me. She pressed her whole body and whispered that there was a beautiful bedroom on top...it needed to be occupied urgently...and that I would bring her stuff out of the car.

I dressed up and went out into the yard. He approached his car, got Katina’s suitcase and backpack. She had a very noticeable backpack, acid-orange, with a barrel in the form of a plush koala. Here Audi came, out of it came some cloud above my head, looked at the backpack.
Did you bring Katie? He asked darkly.
I am. what then?
He brought good. Give her things and go away from here so that I can never see you again.
So what about you, Tolkien? I guessed it.
and Tolik.

At this point of the story, my companion suddenly silenced and stumbled onto the Bavarian villages floating by the window. I waited for a while and then I couldn’t stand it:
And then what? Let me guess. Are you a former lander and prescribed this Tolique ižicu?

Maxim silently shrugged his head.

– So he noticed you, and Katya came to the hospital?
Neither is. I gave Tolika her things, sat in the car and left. I suddenly realized what all her mystery meant. She kept me in reserve. She met me when it didn’t go well with Tolick or he was busy. And even if now Tolik really got his resignation and I moved from the reserve to the main team, that won’t change anything. In the stock will appear some Aliq, Slavik or Garik. Directly from the car, I called my grandmother and took the phone of the granddaughter of Maria Petrovna. A week later I invited this granddaughter to a restaurant, and a month later I made her an offer. She is also Katya. She, of course, has no such wonderful eyes, and the figure is simpler, and there were pauses in the conversation at first, and in sex she had to learn everything. There are no secrets and no tricks.
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2021-12-01/#1271585
Eng

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