bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



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 12.01.2022
A couple of years ago, at the entrance of one of the nightclubs of Tatarstan, a girl met me. Small-growth, curly-legged, dressed like the singer of the Tatar orchestra: slats, shiny paillets, complicated manicure, a dress made of golden fabric and the top of a nork jacket (in June); everything so that on the back rows of it was not only heard, but also visible. Do you remember how Genghis Khan chose his wife? The eyes should be narrow, so that Satan does not pass through, the face smooth, like the glaze of a salt lake, and the legs round and strong, so that the man more pleasure to deliver. A hundred percent hit. was presented?

The girl performed the duties of a fake controller, and decided whether I had the right, enough money, if I fit the face under the status of this provincial institution. You would see her face and her humiliating look. Although I looked at her sensibly from above (due to her height), with all her sight she tried to jump before me, and even jump over. Behind her shoulders stood two bullets of security. From all of our company, she didn’t let the guy in the old folded shoes.

Just shoes, and how many problems can be avoided.

When a flight starts, I often think of that queen of the country disco, and I think how great it is to have the same powers - to let or not let on a charter flight of one or another passenger. The look "you are not worthy to leak dust from my shoes" can not be repeated,, such a skill with a woman is born, and is passed on by inheritance.

Drunk in the wood of one passenger, two passengers, the company of young people is heard on the whole teletrap. They are approaching... I tremble inside. In such a tuss immediately indicates a drunk leader, around whom there is a vaccanalia. Someone is provocatively smoking an electronic sigh, another is rushing to smoke a real one. Under the foolish replicas: you cha, a cha, a nicho, that’s all!
Several times I saw men occupying passenger seats not in the classic way, but in a rough way, on the corks, pulling out brushes in front of them, as in the area. The people are justly outraged: don’t let go, drive out, do something! In flight, such people behave like demons on Halloween. If the flight is night, they do not sleep themselves and do not give others. They crawl, crawl, bite, drink everything they have taken with them, crawl on carpet paths, run on the ceiling. Somewhere an hour before landing, straight on the floor, in the passages fall asleep. In the light of God come out reminded and trembling, as the forces return, they start to bear again before the driver of the bus, border guards, customs officers. Ordinary passengers with children look at it with horror. And I, as a person who has lived a conscious life in Russia, am very ashamed of them. How about passports? As they say in Turkey, RAJA-catastrophe!

It also happens that upon returning to the historic homeland, the OMON or SOBR especially bullish are taken out with broken pins, laid face to the ground, leg on the head, under the automate's target, and then stuck in the car bag. Then the boys call their father or fathers and let them go. Having spent more than one night, immediately after the flight to the airport LOVD, giving testimony, I know exactly that the maximum that threatens them is a fine of 100 rubles. In the worst case, with me, a representative or parent will say:
Well, you think, the boys joke, we have them a-ta-ta! Forgive them, they won’t be like that anymore.
or :
- (for example) Sergey this year graduates from the university, then he goes to the administration to work, he does not need such spots in his biography, you understand?
Serge, what did you do there?
Oh fuck...

And immediately understandable, a man of culture in front of me, with a higher education, the future manager also cut the lifeguards from under the chairs. It starts small, so to speak.

I look at his shoes. and stopped. A sign that you cannot let go. Eeeeee...
Source: https://www.anekdot.ru/release/story/day/2022-01-11/#1284492
Eng

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