bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!
Last Wednesday at 7:10 a.m., a call from the city of Burena came to the German police. If anyone does not know, Buren is such a Westphalian village, 22 thousand people, 3 bus lines, a closed railway station, more than 90% of the population are Germans. The last loud story was the expulsion of the population from the city of 80 Soviets in the 45th year, since then - a quiet paradise for the police.
So, Buren, 7.10 in the morning, a call to the police. A little less awake, but a strong enough male voice begins the conversation: "I did not drink anything."
Given that drunkenness in the morning, in principle, is not included in the list of national Westphalian customs, the police were alerted. “I did not drink anything yesterday,” he continued, “but there is a kangaroo in the neighboring garden.
The Onefoot. They eat flowers.” In the call center of the police people are experienced, they did not have to face such situations, so, without blinking the eye, the caller asked his name, home address and reassured, saying that in 2 minutes the patrol will come. And indeed, contacted the nearest patrol car, briefly describing the situation to the officers. At the same time, they contacted the nearest hospital to find out if there are vacant seats in the psychiatric department.
The police arrived at the house. The caller was obvious - he stood on the threshold of his own house, with a phone, in his home shoes and was clearly out of his own. The police approached him carefully. “Good
Tomorrow the police. Mr...?“They asked polently. “Say, you have a kangaroo here...” In response, the man pointed to the bushes in the neighboring garden.
There was a kangaroo. The Onefoot. I ate the flowers. Both policemen slowly acquired the color of their uniforms. In their heads, the paragraphs of the service instructions were crumbling - as usual, none of the frequently used paragraphs in this case did not fit, and time to look for.
The (probably existing) point on behavior when confronting a single-legged kangaroo that spoils another's property did not leave the situation.
The officers moved slowly forward, saying something intermediate between the two.
“Please try it” and “Please try it, shit.” The kangaroo assessed the situation instantly and, jumping on one leg and tail, boldly went away, removing the gardens of decent burgers. When they saw a fleeing object, the instincts of the police finally worked - they rushed to pursue it. While one of them was on the run to get his weapons and demanded the kangaroo to stop immediately and raise his legs, the second picked up the rack and contacted the staff: "We are chasing the one-legged kangaroo, we have serious grounds to suspect him (well, and how else to translate dringend).
thumbnailäthumbnail?!) Damage to property and resistance in detention. The suspect goes to
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. We urgently need reinforcements.” The expression of persons in the headquarters at that time had to be seen.
No, instructions are a big thing. “If a police officer calls for reinforcement, it must be sent to him.” Therefore, before learning about the presence of three seats in the hospital, the headquarters moved to the general wave: "All posts. The crew is pursuing a single-legged kangaroo.
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. Immediate assistance in case of arrest! “What?At the same time they reacted both posts, heated in their cars. “Let’s run!!“I responded by ration.
After half an hour of pursuit, the police, supported by a local voluntary fire brigade, besieged the kangaroo in the next garden. The urgently called local veterinarian calmly passed through the grip and approached the animal. He confidently clung to him.
Surprised police veterinarian told that a two-year-old kangaroo
Gino fled from his home, where he had been undergoing a rehabilitation course after surgery to remove the back leg for a year and a half. Someone of the visitors did not lock the garage gate, and who discovered this kangaroo arranged an unplanned walk around the city. The veterinarian promised the police to install an automatic lock on the gate, so that the city could continue to sleep peacefully in the future.
So, Buren, 7.10 in the morning, a call to the police. A little less awake, but a strong enough male voice begins the conversation: "I did not drink anything."
Given that drunkenness in the morning, in principle, is not included in the list of national Westphalian customs, the police were alerted. “I did not drink anything yesterday,” he continued, “but there is a kangaroo in the neighboring garden.
The Onefoot. They eat flowers.” In the call center of the police people are experienced, they did not have to face such situations, so, without blinking the eye, the caller asked his name, home address and reassured, saying that in 2 minutes the patrol will come. And indeed, contacted the nearest patrol car, briefly describing the situation to the officers. At the same time, they contacted the nearest hospital to find out if there are vacant seats in the psychiatric department.
The police arrived at the house. The caller was obvious - he stood on the threshold of his own house, with a phone, in his home shoes and was clearly out of his own. The police approached him carefully. “Good
Tomorrow the police. Mr...?“They asked polently. “Say, you have a kangaroo here...” In response, the man pointed to the bushes in the neighboring garden.
There was a kangaroo. The Onefoot. I ate the flowers. Both policemen slowly acquired the color of their uniforms. In their heads, the paragraphs of the service instructions were crumbling - as usual, none of the frequently used paragraphs in this case did not fit, and time to look for.
The (probably existing) point on behavior when confronting a single-legged kangaroo that spoils another's property did not leave the situation.
The officers moved slowly forward, saying something intermediate between the two.
“Please try it” and “Please try it, shit.” The kangaroo assessed the situation instantly and, jumping on one leg and tail, boldly went away, removing the gardens of decent burgers. When they saw a fleeing object, the instincts of the police finally worked - they rushed to pursue it. While one of them was on the run to get his weapons and demanded the kangaroo to stop immediately and raise his legs, the second picked up the rack and contacted the staff: "We are chasing the one-legged kangaroo, we have serious grounds to suspect him (well, and how else to translate dringend).
thumbnailäthumbnail?!) Damage to property and resistance in detention. The suspect goes to
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. We urgently need reinforcements.” The expression of persons in the headquarters at that time had to be seen.
No, instructions are a big thing. “If a police officer calls for reinforcement, it must be sent to him.” Therefore, before learning about the presence of three seats in the hospital, the headquarters moved to the general wave: "All posts. The crew is pursuing a single-legged kangaroo.
Zidninghoizerstraße towards the city center. Immediate assistance in case of arrest! “What?At the same time they reacted both posts, heated in their cars. “Let’s run!!“I responded by ration.
After half an hour of pursuit, the police, supported by a local voluntary fire brigade, besieged the kangaroo in the next garden. The urgently called local veterinarian calmly passed through the grip and approached the animal. He confidently clung to him.
Surprised police veterinarian told that a two-year-old kangaroo
Gino fled from his home, where he had been undergoing a rehabilitation course after surgery to remove the back leg for a year and a half. Someone of the visitors did not lock the garage gate, and who discovered this kangaroo arranged an unplanned walk around the city. The veterinarian promised the police to install an automatic lock on the gate, so that the city could continue to sleep peacefully in the future.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an0910/o091027;1.html