From the Explanatory:
On Monday, one of our employees spoke obscenely to Paul Georgievich. To protect the honour of the boss, I poured a stepler into the employee. However, he missed and fell into the window glass. Despite many important cases, I was forced to spend the night in the office, heroically protecting the property from intruders. The next day I realized that I had a cold, but decided to hide this fact so as not to interfere with the work of the department. When I got home, I was finally squeezed and as a result I couldn’t appear at work yesterday..."

What a subtle balance of mitigating circumstances and further offences.