It was well planned under the Soviet government. There was a simple joke among the people:
In the Armenian radio came the question:
Is it possible to make sure that there is no sand in the Sahara desert?
and yes. In order to do this, the State Plan of the USSR should be sent there for a week.
But here is another joke, and maybe not quite an anecdote, because this is already a completely real case, such as the overwhelming number.
The basis of economic planning was the iron rule: for the preparation of various arrangements, all applications were accepted by ministries and departments for the year ahead until September 2. The mountains of the maculature were sent to the Primordial. Specially trained officials understood and planned what and how they could. What came out was confirmed by their ministers, after which these weapons automatically acquired the status of a Law, and a law more unwavering than the Law of Universal Gravitation.
When building a single house, two units were needed to increase the capacity of the boiler. Their name is water heater.
We planned to receive them in the city of Voronezh in a year.
My construction moved faster than the scheduled deadlines, which was unusual in Soviet times, and created a lot of inconvenience for the suppliers. Our supplier turned away from me and stopped not only talking to me, but even drinking vodka. I started calling the factory - manufacturer in the city
Voronezh is useless. I was knocked in my nose on the phone and that was all. In our ministry remembered that somewhere in the world there is a city
Volgograd, where they were also manufactured. I was advised to try to negotiate with the city of Volgograd. Volgograders could not be pleased with the supply, but suggested that these units are also manufactured in the city of Krasnodar at a repair-mechanical plant and Volgograd heat technicians themselves drive them from this Krasnodar. Apparently in our ministry solid knowledge in the geography of the USSR was limited to the MKAD.
He got on the tram and went around the city of Krasnodar on the RMZ. It turns out that these heaters are actually made there and this is their main product. Here, only to sell can not, because they have a very tense supply plan in the Volgograd region. They advised to contact the Volgograd heaters - maybe they ordered too much there. So if they give up a couple of pieces in my favor, then, through our ministries, the issue can be solved.
I myself never saw these units in the eye and asked for permission to go to the workshop, to see what it is - a water heater. When I saw that there was a great multitude in all their territory, I found hope.
Having selected the worker with the redest nose from the general team, I asked if, purely theoretically, it was possible to get a couple of such units. He replied that it was not easy. To do this, I have to have a truck and vodka behind the fence as many products as I need.
I called my director and after an hour the truck brought me two bottles of alcohol. These same products weighed a kilogram by two hundred. For this reason, the whole team of the factory probably participated in the transportation through the fence and loading. The work disputed. A minute after ten, my red-nosed friend, glad that I did not have vodka for him, but a wonderful alcohol, gave the command, and I was immediately pulled and submerged with a third heater. in the reserve. All the workers, friendly, began to explain to me that in difficult times, I can always change this thing for a bottle of vodka.
I felt like a hero until it was time to put the house into operation. There were no documents on arrival, neither in the accounting nor in the supplies, for some reason. And then all forgot that I was a hero and began to demand from me documents on payment and bills. This is where the third heater helped me. The assembly organization stopped demanding some foolish papers for him and the question disappeared.
The buyer became my friend again. And six months later, the Voronezh mechanical plant, in a categorical form, began to demand payment and self-export of the water heater ordered, a year and a half ago, in the amount of two pieces, according to the order No.
The manager stopped recognizing me.