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 11.12.2010
The crew
Once my friend Dima lived in Irkutsk and was not somebody, but the entire crew commander of a large passenger plane. twice a week
Dima flew to Moscow and was considered the first guy in the city, but about it another time, and now I draw for you one of his many aviation stories: Tired but satisfied crew members, experienced hands and feet advanced the plane closer to their home. Everything as planned and in the standard mode, before the landing five minutes. The men already felt at home and relaxed... and in vain.
Take the smoke:
- This shit Shmarko, the prize deprived me of the nephig... That’s a bit of a bit!
And Shmarko, I must say, is the commander of their squad. He was feared and hated by all without exception.
The second pilot, unwittingly picked up:
Don’t tell me, shepherd! He promised me a vacation, and when I was already traveling
I bought, this shit Shmarko apparently envious and did not let him go.
Earth is thrown!
The Third:
- And I was putting sticks in the wheels at the re-attestation: "Why do you?
re-testing, you are still living well, out of yourself, I see, a new
I didn’t buy a car.” I will not kill...
All three were frozen and frozen.
They understood - this is their last flight in life (do not be afraid, as pilots the last...) The fact is that this Shmarko every time after the landing of the aircraft, studied the "black box" of the crew's actions for the subsequent disassembly of the flight, and as a result of the mischief...
It is clear that when the boss listens to all these conversations, the poor pilots will not have time to write statements on their own.
But there was another small trick: the recording of the votes of the crew members lasts half an hour, and then the beginning begins to fade and so on. As a result, there are always the last 30 minutes of conversations in the cabin.
Our glorious guys got into the shit by the ears, quietly looked around, sneezed each other and well let's play toys:
Earth, earth, I am a boat like that. I have a trouble sitting down.
Until I can!
Aviation is a dark thing today, and if good pilots want to darken it, just hold on to it.
They are more visible as bringing a shadow on the cloth, organizing vibration and talk so that the black box could be seen: everything is very wrong with the plane, but the crew with their skillful actions prevented the disaster. The investigative connection will be unclear. Who could have thought that the crew intentionally in a flat place began to shake their plane like a pear?
Firefighters and ambulances were already waiting on the track.
And our brave guys all heroically struggled with the unusual situations that they themselves created. Overload, overload and overload. The black box was filled with alarming parameters. But there was still time to pull and pull. Half an hour, talk and agitation is a considerable time.
All a few hundred passengers without exception, breakfast and dinner returned to the airline.
The stewardess came:
What happened, we will break up!! Everyone is in panic and praying.
What to say!? to
And Dima with the calm voice of Zhenov from the film "Crew":
“Tamaroco, calm people and you know what: make us a cup of coffee.
In short, as soon as the old recording, in which the guys murmured Shmarko, became a new, heroic, the plane immediately sat perfectly, proudly defiling past the ambulances and firefighters.
The crew understood what you want, you don’t want, but you have to get out of the cabin and pass through the line of overwhelmed and shocked passengers.
The pilots were ashamed and scared. There was, there was not. Dima opened the door and, looking into the floor, entered the passenger room.
Stalin was never so applauded in the Column Hall of the Union House as these “heroic” guys:
Thank you guys, you are heroes!! to
You created the impossible, we are all alive and no one has been hurt!! to
“Commandor, as your name is, I will call it my future child!”! to
Let me kiss you guys!! to
The pilots, all the same looking at the floor and advancing towards the exit:
You don’t need it, it’s our job.
If the passengers knew all about this “movement,” I’t have had a friend of Dima... They would have been linked and done correctly. They will be remembered with gratitude throughout their lives.

P.S
At the end of the official inspection, Shmarko at the general meeting brought Dimin's crew before everyone and thanked him for timely and competent action in the emergency situation.
And the crew thought only of one thing: they would not meet each other with their eyes, they would be scattered.
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1012/o101210;1.html
Eng

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