toast
One of my acquaintances for all cases of life has one constant.
An untold toast. "Shop shit stood and the kids were" Because of this idiotic and
meaningless phrase who knows already trying with it or not to drink, or
deprived of his voting rights. He puts it where it should and should not. One day, on
Someone’s reminiscences, on the third or fourth stop, he cheered joyfully.
“Well, shop, therefore the fuck stood and the kids were!” and worship to
relatives of the deceased. When the scratch was cut and it was written out.
The hospital, he was sincere wondering what so upset these murdered with sorrow.
The unhappy people.
I don’t know how it is with Vova’s affairs with the first part of the phrase, but with the second he
Not catastrophically lucky. Maybe that is the reason? Maybe that’s why he
Drives to the place and not to the place of his "Shop fucking stood and the children were"? All his
attempts to form a family, and as a result, offspring, ended
Collapse at different stages of acquaintance. An oath of unmarriage
over this wool.
This is the last time. I met a decent girl. Traditional
A conservative family. My parents are intelligent doctors. all
moved in the right direction. Meeting the parents of the bride
There is the appearance of the people of the bridegroom, also decided to place in the old traditions and
It was a successful birthday of the father of the bride.
On the eve of this event, the candidate for the bride had an accident. Well,
As a misfortune? A small trouble. He opened a beer bottle and damaged him.
The tooth. He did not want to drink. So, "pull the slug with a beer", remove
tension from upcoming acquaintances with close relatives. The tooth
He got sick with terrible force and in an hour his cheek broke. Not drinking here.
becomes impossible. And Vova halfway sucked the pain with shock doses of the known
Local analgesic.
And the next morning from the morning, hardly waiting for the discovery, I tried to the nearest.
The Dentistry. In advance, imitating the whole body and pumping yourself with fears.
The fear of the dentists in Vova was based not only on the fear of pain, but also on the fear of pain.
All normal people, but also sad memories of childhood.
In the fifth grade, on a preventive examination with a dentist, he stumbled.
The doctor from the metal pad has a little so cute.
A mirror on the foot. But he was caught by the hand. The Young
The fun doctor said, “I’ll have to re-qualify to be a psychiatrist. be
Treatment of kleptomania. He attached Vova to the chair with his belts and told him to open.
The mouth, in one hand took the syringe for washing, in the other - the sticks, which
He ripped his teeth, made a terrible face... In short, Volodya quickly stumbled down.
He was sent to a chair and was released with the order "never take a stranger, otherwise I will not take him."
I catch and all the teeth without anesthesia..." Since then, Vova has not even looked at someone else,
Even the dentistry clinics did not need to do so.
The curve.
The fears were unnecessary. Imported anesthesia is not required.
Good for yesterday’s home drink. The Horse Dose
Novocaine did not help either. The tooth had to be treated.
and live. Vova breathed on the doctor with a bitterness and obscene vocabulary, grabbed for
I begged my mother to give him birth again. Love for Dentistry
And her representatives did not add this episode.
But sooner or later it ends. A few hours later, but
repaired Vova bullet jumped out of the clinic and – tiger-smoke-tiger-smoke –
He jumped to meet his happiness. Residual anesthesia and adrenaline
The blood from the experienced pain was fucking through the brain no worse than vodka.
Excited by everything at once, including the responsibility of the moment, Vova was
He was presented to his relatives and all immediately sat down at the close family table.
The attention of the gathered was, of course, unobtrusively attached to Vova.
Vova’s attention was unconsciously attracted to the
A repaired tooth. He touched his tongue all the time and even, sometimes,
Theft with a finger.
They poured the first, congratulated the owner, drank, ate, raised again,
And on the third, the future witch said “No...” and looked at Vova. and all
They also smiled gently looking at the Wolf. Woody understood that
It was his turn. From him, as from the hero of the day, are awaited
The burning speech. He took the bacon, stood up, touched his tooth with his tongue, opened it.
the mouth and began: "Well, shop..." The traditional Vovin toast was already ready to collapse
in the heads of suspicious relatives, as suddenly, for the first time in
In his lifetime, Vova decided that his wonderful phrase might not be what he said.
It would be inappropriate, but a little premature.
And then he burned out the first, as joyfully and uncompromisingly,
what came to his mind, suggested the subconscious and tormented from yesterday's
The evening. “The teeth didn’t hurt!”
There was an uncomfortable pause at the table. Someone tossed tightly. Everyone looked
to the guest. Vova decided that he made a stunning impression and everyone was waiting.
development of the story. “Aha! Shrap your teeth, so no one has ever been sick.
did not fall! For peace, in the whole world! No tooth pain!! – is
He confirmed his success with the public.
And, not paying any attention to the fact that the surprised audience is not in a hurry.
loudly support his wonderful speech, bumbled a dose and ticked a fork in
the salad.
* * * *
After a short time nothing suspicious failed son-in-law
A good pretext, tactically, but suddenly carried out.
The unfulfilled aunt uncertainly reassured the daughter "Nothing, nothing...
Maybe it’s all for the best... and I liked it very much... “At the table
There was disappointment and discomfort.
Then the unsuccessful test, a dentist with experience and the owner of a small
a successful capital dental clinic, stood up from behind the table, and,
Speaking to no one specifically, he said quietly but firmly to his summary:
and yes! You can get married to this idiot all at once or after.
The row. But what if I didn’t have that damn humanist in my home anymore.
I saw!