C habrahabr, from the discussion of the topic "If PHP were British"

Oleg Yozhic: A very different thing would have been if PHP were Russian, I fear it’t have been so polite...mayhem,

mayhem: code optimization will be reduced to inserting a motherboard before calling the functions – “anukablad str_replace()” simply has to work faster than the usual str_replace()

Licvidator: Or at least keep silent about internal problems.