bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ]
 07.10.2011
The Dembel Rain
The second hour I was jumping in the body, sitting on paper cement bags in the new Dembel parade.
We were four brutally deceived dumbels driving in an unknown direction.
Even in the morning, everything was so wonderful: we - the heroes of the sixth part of the land, descended from the mountain after the titanic "dembellic accord" (in a month and a half, we poured a billion thousand tons of concrete and built the secret object "X"), built near the headquarters, from joy and anticipation without touching the chromium boots of the earth...
In a moment, life turned.
The deputy chief of staff, a thin Georgian in a high SS suit, came out, called us four and said:
- Comrades soldiers, it will be necessary, so to say, for the good... and to
Keep a good memory of yourself.
Short work for half a day. I will feed you, don’t worry.
We were shy but reasonably opposed:
“Thank you, Comrade Colonel, but somehow without us. Do not be offended,
But our mothers will feed us no worse, and if you don’t mind, we’ll get it.
Our soldiers, travel documents and we will go home, and there you can see.
will be...
The Lieutenant Colonel whispered and his Georgian accent became even more noticeable:
Leave the speakers! You are still soldiers of the Soviet Army and I see,
What you dream of staying in part until the New Year! You do not deserve.
The first party. You do not deserve.
- How so... Comrade broke down... We were promised and we managed... We did...
The head of the headquarters changed anger for mercy.
Are you like children? Don’t go today, go tomorrow. 730 days
They waited, and here, because of the nonsense, the slugs were disbanded. So let’s go in.
Car, I am going to come.
From that moment on, we have become prisoners of war.

In the dark, without windows, without doors, I didn’t even want to talk. We felt like pearl hunters whose air was running out, it was very time to sail out, but the sea king caught us and said, "Wait, where do you hurry? to talk...”
Had it not been so sad, I would have roared over my comrades unfortunately, very ridiculously, in this dusty semi-darkness, they had big white pumps on their boots. I also looked stupidly in an absolutely square hat blushed with goutalin.
We arrived, loaded out near a huge two-storey house with a roof.
Lieutenant Colonel :
I know you’ve wrapped up your dining room there. So I bet.
Here is the roof, here is the shiffer, the tools I will give. You cover up faster.
Go home faster. Before you were working, old shiffer.
They crushed, and they could not put a new one, by the way, instead of home.
They went back to their mountains and will be fired only after a new one.
Year I promise. Let’s go faster to get to the rain. may
to start.
The first impulse was to fill him with a moustache, but this will not solve our problem, who needs the fugitive soldiers without documents who beat the deputy chief of staff of the brigade? Except for those who will catch us, chewing through all Georgia.
What is half day? His dominion was for a week of work. Just standing with the head up, it was already stupid, they tied from three stairs one lengthy and sadly dropped onto the roof.
They climbed up, it wasn’t easier, but go down to break our legs, why are we without his legs?
Suddenly we see on the only remaining old piece of the chip a pencil inscription:
Those who will come after us.
Brothers of Dembele!
We smelled this wound for three hours, but two days later, when the old shiffer
It was removed, assembled and exploded, this goat, stated that so far a new shiffer
Don’t worry, you won’t eat home.
We sent him to Her, unfortunately it was too late.
Men, be gentle, do not make him nicer! Just like Dembele.
It is inevitable!
Dembel from Bakuriani.
by DMB-87.
This message inspired us with the strength to fight, and in a moment we rushed to work with greed.
At the bottom I clung to the hooks of the shiffer, three of them lifted it up the stairs and fast but carefully grabbed it.
Our backs were wet, we didn’t want to eat or drink, only to have time to cover the roof until the rain and go to our mothers.
The Lieutenant Colonel could not be delighted with us, but he walked around and cried strictly from below:
Be careful, I’ll go in and check it out. Do not forget the rubber.
The Prelude! Whoever breaks the sheet of the code will be fired a day later, I’m not joking!
He did not climb, of course, he was not such an idiot to depend on three somewhat connected stairs, but we tried our best from dawn to dark.
In the middle of the day, of course, did not fit, but for four settled up (sleeping there on the roof, hiding up with shells and a cloth) When it was all over, the owner drove us wet and unwashed over the fence (seemingly, so that the spade was not finally wrapped up), five hours without lunch waiting for the car.
Return to Part.
After a long deal, the Lieutenant Colonel generously forgave us the shredded sheet of code that had fallen from the roof and broken about my head, handed over documents, thanked us for the service and personally wished us a happy journey.
I smoked my last cigarette and got on the train.
As soon as they touched, the whole of Georgia was covered with wild rain!
We four had tears from joy... we ran through the entire plateau wagon, hugged and said, “Rain!!! The rain boy!! to
Oh wow! It is rain!! We have succeeded!!”
The whole wagon was tense, waiting for the dumbels of the heavy road, watching how they descend the sum of a simple rain, whether it will still be.

P.S
Many years will pass and we all four will forget this rain sooner or later, but our chief of staff will not forget it for the rest of their days.
The whole new shiffer on his enormous house was carefully laid with a swing in the reverse (the upper sheets went under the lower...) In order to stay dry, the Lieutenant Colonel had to defeat gravity in his mandarine garden, but judging by his sensible face – no, will not win...
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1110/o111006.html#6
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna