bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате]
 15.01.2013
not my own. He did not stop and stole.

From the wife of a friend (story).

We had one cat in the range, my husband, me and two babies strictly watching not to sleep at the same time. Grandparents and grandparents were interested in our lives just as I was interested in the life of ringworms. If you come, look through the glass with the sign "This is your children."

One day, the children fell asleep and fell asleep at the same time, we determined through the "papier knife stone" who was going to sleep and who was to roast the potatoes.
The neighbors wake up, they say, the smoke from the kitchen rains.

Once I got stuck in the elevator, called the elevator and asked to come to rescue me later, I need to sleep.

Once again I woke up, looked at my husband and asked, “Who are you?“”

Because of my lack of sleep, I was constantly forgetting what I wanted to do. And then I decided to write important things on paper in the morning. Of course, I immediately forgot where I put the paper and what I wrote there. All day I was thinking that I forgot to do something important. Late in the evening, I found that note under my pillow. It was written, “Go to the toilet.” He got up and went.

The first few months when someone asked me, “When the children were born.” I said, “Wait, I have it recorded.”

In order not to confuse which of the children I fed and who is not, I started to mark them with a green. Soon I began to mark the green and the cat, because he also taught the children to roar all the time and not to explain why.
When twice a day the marked cat got into my feet with a scream, I went to whip his face in the food. In the bowl was poured a raw oatmeal.

One day in the machine, I noticed my husband as he ate his sandwich. He went to work as a Hindu, with a spot between his eyes.

My husband told me that in my dreams I often said to the whining children, "Chicchi soon I will breastfeed." One day she woke up from the fact that the baby replied with a low male voice: "You only promise."

Spock has a picture in the book "How to feed twins at the same time". There was a woman painted with a baby in each hand. The head of the child lay on her palm and sucked her chest, the rest of the child and the woman’s hand went somewhere behind her back. I even exercised on two five-liter canisters of water. The Canisters stubbornly refused to eat. Feeding the children in order.

The same Spock's husband read on his head that boys are twins more often than others become gay. I calmed down only when in the 4th grade saw the son in 10 minutes confessed to love to two girls.

Someone else read that it is very important how a child in a dream holds the fists, where the thumb lies - on top or inside the fist. It turns out, there is a big difference and something depends on it (I don't remember what, but something, maybe even a whole life). We rushed to see the children. The children slept, putting all four fingers in the figs.

When a girlfriend gave birth to a third child with a short break between the first and second, plus a dog, then on my question, "How do you get it all?" She replied, "When you have one child and the dog has taken his nipple, you take the nipple, wash it in three waters, then boil it for two hours and return it to the child. When you have two children and the dog has taken the nipple, you take the nipple, lick it and return it to the baby. When you have three children and the dog has taken the nipple, it’s a child’s problem how to take it back.”
Source: http://www.anekdot.ru/an/an1301/o130114.html#6
Eng

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna