bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122541
 01.01.2016
Suddenly it turned out that the subject of deprivation for Crimea should in no case relate to wages, loans, holidays and allowances. Then it turned out that the sanctions are not a word, but a very fast business and counter-sanctions hit the price. Oil and ruble are interrelated.

and unexpectedly.

Welcome to the real world, Neo. With New Year.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122540
 01.01.2016
xxx: Please don’t laugh and take my question seriously and please don’t troll. I have trouble transferring a movie from a computer to a console to an Apple TV3. The problem is the same. Reproduced 100% at any time of the day. The point is that if during the movie broadcast I touch my cat (big, furry - it can lie on the back of the couch behind my back or on the table in front of me), then the playback is interrupted and the console moves to the screenshot mode. At the same time, it is not remembered where the reproduction was interrupted. What a mystic? How can human and cat interaction change the field in the room and affect wifi? It just annoys me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №122539
 01.01.2016
Recently in Germany began to produce beer under the name of "Fucking Hell" ("Fukking light"), where hell in German means "light el", and Fucking is taken in honor of an Austrian town.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122538
 01.01.2016
>> Nafiga needed hair in February, and why didn’t you take vodka?? to

Many landlords leave poisoned alcohol "for thieves". It’s better to have your hair :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122537
 01.01.2016
XXX: Increment of the counter occurred. The event was generated. It all went without failures and falls. All the followers! #2016 by

YYY: It is known from unreliable sources that coordination failures and falls in the salad interface occurred across the country.

XXX: This is a problem introduced by the Champagne 2.016 patch, which was soaked over the Vodka 2.015 patch. Incompatibility of patches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122536
 01.01.2016
A potential customer wants a website in HTML 5. I sent him a letter asking him to indicate the timing and budget of the project. I get his answer:



Duration of work: 2 weeks. Your salary depends on your creative approach to work.



I thanked him and wished him good luck in finding the performer.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122535
 01.01.2016
The case was somewhere in the 1st or 2nd grade, I don't remember exactly...what kind of guy from our class did something very tough and callous, and didn't want to confess. A teacher for 10 minutes tried to find the culprit, then handed out the leaflets and told everyone to write if he did it (I don’t remember what). She said it was anonymous, and that she would talk to this person alone after the lesson. It was necessary for her to collect the leaflets, as soon as she broke them, she began to report this boy in the whole class. I don't know what he felt at that moment, but in those 7 years I realized that all my life would be around here and fucking.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122534
 01.01.2016
When I was four years old, there were a lot of guests coming to us for the New Year, and there was one such uncle — say, Uncle Cole, — who often went out to smoke on the venue. When Uncle Cole went to smoke again, Santa came to visit us suddenly. I told him a poem, and my mind called Uncle Cole, who will miss it all right away. But Santa gave me a beautiful toothbrush with a snowflake and left, and then Uncle Cole returned. I stumbled on him with desperate screams from the series: so long!!! And for many years she remembered and regretted that Uncle Cole’s smoker never found Santa Claus. I recently found out that something was wrong, shit.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122533
 01.01.2016
The grandmother’s tube flowed.
xxx: my mom and I called the emergency, they put the temporary hood, they said they would come on the 4th

yyy: It sounds very cool)

XXX: Temporary

Yyy: And I thought the tube was hyperspace.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122532
 01.01.2016
The surviving deceased was heated, questioned and released home. Not long thinking, he returned to his friends – there they worked on the deceased’ memorial, – notes "Primorye 24". A friend of the deceased, seeing the accomplice alive, lost consciousness. However, to continue the celebration it did not hinder anyone."

We will stand and stand!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122531
 01.01.2016
The average salary in the Russian Federation for 2014 excluding Moscow and St. Petersburg is 18167.

<><><>>
I’d better write Medium. One in 100,000 r., nine in 9.074 r. And we would write what percentage has a salary below the average. Will it be 70 to 80 percent?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122530
 01.01.2016
Man must be strong! Must be able to make repairs. Well, or even just hole a hole in the wall, hang the painting.
YYY: Now I know where the neighbors with the drill come from.
ZZZ: It turns out that I live in the third gallery

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122529
 01.01.2016
With the coming year 2016! I wish you to preserve yourself and not forget about self-development. Don’t forget your dream, it can be achieved.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122528
 01.01.2016
XXX: I thought about it.
XXX: Terrorists must stick the deadly bracelets. Well, who will see a man with a bracelet and think he is a suicide. After all, he makes teeth for the future and spends decent money on it.
I would be the perfect psychic criminal.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122527
 01.01.2016
The New Year has arrived in all time zones. Happy holidays and a good year!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122526
 01.01.2016
xxx: In general, a beautiful man - put a fifth before "what". The truth is "what"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122525
 01.01.2016
The best New Year’s toast: So that the next New Year’s table is not scarce.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122524
 01.01.2016
On the way to a women’s consultation, I accidentally met one ex-husband (which is not surprising, because of the fact that I am a woman). I am attached to his clinic. And then the second, which is surprising, where he came from there, especially in the wake. Unknown is.
Followed by both.
We are three, one with a jacket, the other with a bag.
I go to the registry, I go back - everyone looks at me.
It turns out, the doctor was looking for me, these fools could not come up with anything better than to say, "Woman is right now."
The chorus.
The curtain.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122523
 01.01.2016
In fact, 2015 was not bad. You will soon see yourself.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №122522
 01.01.2016
Vladivostok disgusts: 2016 in Google has not yet rolled out. Who is to blame? and Moscow!
With New Year!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna