After the menstrual period, which lasted 7, instead of the usual 3 days, my husband in the process of the prelude said to me: "So. I will be brief." :)

by Walter1938:
Has the girl left you? I just want to do...

I only got one flower in my life.
Here are the fucks.
xxx: it was a black rose... or rather originally white, painted in black with a bubble to paint the car))
Oh, but since I got it for a breakup, I don’t have my favorite colors anymore.
NN: for such shoulders of breasts, a pleasant mouthpiece, legs, and a totally fucking inner world - only once? O.O

Only by going to the courtyard in the evening you understand the true meaning of the phrase "Do not get up".

The 10-year-old daughter called the former... as always standard questions.
How is it?
and normal. Doctors were checked at school yesterday.
In the drugs?
Dad, you checked your eyes.

I once worked in a computer club in a suburban Moscow city. And I noticed a trend: as soon as a movie about hackers was shown on television, one or two guys appeared the next day, came to the club, took me to the side and flashed and asked, say, where we have a hacking bump here. When I answered that I had no idea what they were talking about, they cuddled and said, “Okay.”

% on the TV. The Federal Channel.

Two girls are talking. one another:

You are what? Give up! He will crush you and throw you away! Go back to the panel immediately!by 11

Turn off the TV %

In a conversation with a colleague I give out: “No, thank you, don’t need, I’m an independent person... cute, intelligent... Hm, how do I know this phrase? A! Here a soft sign wandered the southern tree!!! Why do you look at me like that? Are you happy, the boss finally went crazy? Not just now :)"
PS I remembered the lower keyboard.

Preface: I have a tachycardia attack, it strikes hard. But here I wanted to smoke, I go out to the entrance, the mother in the doorstep shouts: "What to smoke in this state?! Buy yourself a nicotine patch!", and in a second "And swear it to your mouth!"

xxx: Yes, I have a passport, a passport, three dresses, shoes, cosmetics, a laptop, a camera, a jacket, hangers, "War and Peace"... Suddenly they will call to Italy, and there will be no time to gather.

XXX: Is there a new one?
YYY: Just get stuck! =))) I got stuck today at the very least... =)))
YYY: Listen to me briefly!
yyy: I've been dating Katka for a month, it's all fine)) Today when I was having sex I almost called her Olya (the name of the former), and my brain realized that something was not in the subject, only by pronouncing the slogan "OL", and the first thing that immediately came to my mind to finish the word with the slogan "EG"... Sex was interrupted, because Katya was confused and asked for explanations that Oleg was still behind...
yyy: I’m in full car, I don’t know what to answer to her... Gathering with thoughts I say that this is my cousin))))) She, naturally, begins to chase me that I’m a pedic perverse))))
yyy: Well I reassure her, I say that I accidentally remembered that he invited us with her yesterday to him on his birthday tomorrow, and I didn't buy subraok and so accidentally broke out his name))))
yyy: In the end, it seemed to have been destroyed, but now you need to find something about Oleg, who has a snail tomorrow and ask him for a visit, first warning him that he is my cousin))))
You are XDDDDDD

comment under the demotivator with the image of a girl (?) With small breasts:
"Huli breasts, it’s not a problem now. I added my 35 thousand rubles and she wrapped French implants. When a few months later, the breast could already be melted, she fell to some hose. I think it is a very good investment! Probably also the mattress on which the chicken was fucking, I will also re-form it, so I’m happy!"

News on Gazete.ru
In the UK, it will be possible to get married 24 hours a day.

The first comment:
A great idea!! In the morning, many men are sober and regret what they said at night.

In a very long discussion in one forum:
Are you tired of crawling?

xy: Twitter censorship, YouTube shut down, Kurt will play Pattison, restriction on concerts and discs, a new album by Joloud. Maya was right. The end is near.
Will Kurt play Pattison?! to
Xy : Aha
I will go and shoot myself.
No, let Pattinson be shot.

Comment on the game Duck Hunt based on the game Dandy for Android:

nickel23 ( Today, 22:40 ) »

I hope you can shoot this dog here??? Ten years ago, I only dreamed of that.

Real gynecological history (well at least, the record is real) on the form of the Russian-Israeli clinic:
Sexual life (from what age) - sexual life is denied
Pregnancy – 5
Birth - 2
Abortions - 1, s / v -2

However.

Introduction: Our relationship with our wife began without a candy-flower period - immediately after the first night and continues to this day.
A seven-year-old son once asked when I fell in love with his mother. I couldn’t answer, my wife came to help.
Well, it started, it lasted, it lasted, it lasted and suddenly - once! And everything is well...

The fact that I’m a programmer doesn’t mean I know why you don’t run Word.

During the whole film, Dred never removed a helmet... Anyway, Bezrukov played it!