bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №72436
 01.11.2012
A> liha, the question of the sink
In accounting, we have a strange glucose, there is an extract No. 21 from February 8, 2005, it periodically disappears, and they are filling it because of it. Documents must be kept for 5 years.
Could your programmers tell you?
B> is now in 2012. She is self-destructing.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72435
 01.11.2012
Are you still in Kiev?
Yyy: Yes, a very cheap city, you didn’t have to eat at the McDake of Nizhny Novgorod, but buy an apartment here for that money.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72434
 01.11.2012
At the neighboring table, the employee was lucky at the stall, he had a peak ax, a worm ax, a drum ax and two crucifix axes. Destroyed the whole office.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №72433
 01.11.2012
When I was a child, my parents lost me and I was raised by a bunch of wild computers.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72432
 01.11.2012
She: Oleg, you are the best thing in my life!
He is he. Imagine what shit the rest is.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72431
 01.11.2012
XXX: Today is the day of judgment. Pride and Halloween in One Day
YYY: They may even not change clothes and walk scared

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72430
 01.11.2012
I finished my postgraduate school without a five-minute doctor of sciences.
“You’ll think, and I’m a sex giant without 25 centimeters.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72429
 01.11.2012
Q: Do you like sex?
In the sense?
M: I love tough, we will meet!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №72428
 01.11.2012
1: Blind
I have a new happiness.

2 What?

1: we in the neighboring office (the department of analysts and project managers) now always cost 2 huge pads with all sorts of cookies))

2 the frog

1:Now took the almond so delicious, a handful of small salty liver and a couple of lambs) for a couple of hours enough)

2 go to shit.

1 is =)

2: That is what is pleasant. You are sitting at work, and at home, a woman has already jumped over the vanded bridge and put it)

1 of 1 (

Without my requests and reminders
You come home and the label on your desk pleases you.
smiles to

Go to Nashville (

Eat cookies, do not get distracted.

[ + 33 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72427
 01.11.2012
I am a lawyer! I don’t want to write stupid papers and prove something in court! I want Glock18 and a license to shoot idiots.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №72426
 01.11.2012
Don’t get distracted, man! from the chest
Alexey: Did you understand what you asked now?
Alexey: It’s like asking cancer to whisper.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72425
 01.11.2012
The client, signing in the letter, was sealed - Georgievna. This is a poor father.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72424
 01.11.2012
Oh, it is an unusual feeling! When you are waiting for an important call, you are crazy about the comp, the phone is ringing at the other end of the room, you are undermined and you realize that you have taken off both your legs!
And this is like an old marasmatic in a painful seizure, like a Zombie, you are half-running and half-running to the phone! You fall! You are mating! and RJ!

(And the time is coming! The phone is ringing, but the call can be stopped at any time!!!)

And here in a desperate leap, you throw your body to your cell phone! She slips out of her hands! With incredible effort you turn around and catch it! You will "reply" and cheerfully pee in the tube "Yes!"
And you hear in response a calm, slightly surprised voice of the interlocutor.

At this point you feel like a superhero, once again saving the world)) But no one noticed it again.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72423
 01.11.2012
System administrators are faithful husbands.
They don’t always have time for their wife. What a mistress...

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72422
 01.11.2012
I say to Yasha in the morning: quickly let us dress like in the army. The answer is "A, I know! The soldier must have time to dress while the candle is burning!

[ + 22 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72421
 01.11.2012
If you had a choice: buy FIFA 2013 or take a girl to a restaurant for her birthday, which club would you start playing for?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72420
 01.11.2012
Translation by Promt

Nevermind: The translation of Michael Jackson’s song “Dangerous” forever changed my worldview: “The girl was bad, the girl was dangerous.”

[ + 6 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72419
 01.11.2012
Can you explain it in three words?
Go to Fuck

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №72418
 01.11.2012
From Auto.ru / Android:

1> What interesting driver tips would you recommend?
Friends, hello to all! I’m wondering who’s using what kind of lotions on trips? Could you recommend any interesting applications? I personally, in addition to traffic jams, use the app XXX (road quality) and YYY (record speed, distance and route on the map).
I want to try some new ones!

2> Interesting feature - to look at the road and lighting. It is unfortunate that they rarely use it.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72417
 01.11.2012
Comments on the news "The dog rides in the tram of Yekaterinburg":
No one has lost her.
She just likes to ride.
Looking out the window at people.
When he comes home, he plays a game of chess with his master.
No, he will lose of course. The dog is.
...but already looks with interest at the driver’s seat, and remembers that he is pressing there.

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