bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №135486
 01.11.2016
Now I remembered the simple stuff. There the Matroskin constantly Ball humiliates
Shrek, you are a ballbuster.
Do you want to make a riding dog?
“Let’s go, Shrek, will we sell you?
The ball is bigger and stronger than the cat, but it never grows.
I came to the conclusion that in this couple Matroskin is a wife.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135485
 01.11.2016
Funny to read. How the fools look for a pet on the principle of "shob not shabby"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135484
 01.11.2016
A teacher named Julia:
"I said yesterday: "We write a number. 1st of September"
Class in October!
The boy in the first batch: "I will turn the calendar and again the third September"".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №135483
 01.11.2016
Call of the Legacy.

Under mysterious circumstances, a programmer escapes. And the new one who came in his place is trying to understand what happened.

He finds those. Doc, where it is said that there is a terrible legacy code in the project, and there are its fans - the cult "do not crack - it works".

During the investigation, a young programmer finds this legacy code, it is untouchable.

When trying to remove it, it itself is restored, and only works once a year when the record in the redise fades.

The programmer goes to fight legacy code, as soon as it approaches it, it starts, almost folding the entire project.

A young programmer miraculously manages to hang a hand flag in a redise and escapes from this piece of code.

He knows that sooner or later the TTL flag will expire and the monster will wake up again.
He is afraid that Legacy fans will kill him for telling the world about it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135482
 01.11.2016
Do you want to remove the brain?
WOW I want!! to
Theme: * Reference *
HH: So what do you say?

After 15 minutes
HHH: Are you here?

After 30 minutes
What did I do!!1 of 111!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135481
 01.11.2016
When for a few months in your apartment a window was shot from injury, the neighbor's car burned in the night, and on the third floor in the morning found a corpse you begin to suspect that in vain moved to the quiet city of Mytišti.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №135480
 01.11.2016
Going is when you are doing something so incredibly cool that you are squeezed by enthusiasm for yourself, and for others you are just a shrinking miserable figure at the monitor.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №135479
 01.11.2016
I went to my relatives in Germany - my wife's sister married to a German (indigenous, present).

When I arrived, I had a stomach disorder. The pills offered by the hosts gave a zero result. Therefore, I had to resort to a folk remedy - vodka with salt. After a while I was frozen (the air conditioner in the car was to blame). Again, "popular medicine" is vodka with pepper. After a while, the knee began to sink, operated a few years ago. The sister’s husband comes, holds a bottle of vodka in his hands and asks, “What will we add this time?”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135478
 01.11.2016
"Why is the morse not thick and lax? Ah, and why him?

Because you are a fool. "This uncle is hardened, cold water is poured out so as not to get sick. No, you can’t get cold right away. You need to get used to it for a long time and exercise gradually. It’s boring, but some people love it because some people like it.”

And about gays at all, you can’t tell if there are few reasons why uncle dresses like a fool. Don’t bother him so much, maybe he’s somewhat scandalous, he’ll start screaming here again. There are a lot of frictions in general, the general recommendation covers everyone at once.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135477
 01.11.2016
Katrin Black's:you throw, on the radio said that athletes who did not go to the Olympics in Rio, money will be given
Marina Shamidanova =-O
Marina Shamidanova: I didn’t drive either.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №135476
 01.11.2016
(On free promotional trips on Uber Taxis)
XXX: The method is tried! I got to work today for 0 rubles! ?
Next time leave the gun at home! It will become a habit.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №135475
 01.11.2016
It is digital :)

p.s still in search of a pet, after which you do not need to clean the cacao.

cat + CatGenie automatic cat toilet + automatic cat feeder, which camera photographs the cat at the time of feeding and sends you to the phone to bypass


[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №135474
 01.11.2016
There is a great lifehack for car lovers! If you are tired of receiving fines from cameras, or from haishnikovs, and thus, spending your blood. Just start driving according to the rules! It really works!! I started using them half a year ago, and no fine! Good people are around!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №135473
 01.11.2016
Alena: Girls, I thought our family would never be touched, but... yesterday my husband brought a selfie stick!
Alena: Even worse than a selfie stick was his comment to her:
Alena"Look what a crazy thing! I have to shoot!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135472
 01.11.2016
The autumn depression prevents me from taking myself in hand and starting to do something.

Winter sleepiness, spring exacerbation and summer heat are also against this.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №135471
 01.11.2016
For work, I regularly go to various castles for a week or two. Typically, citizens from villages and small towns are usually much more willing to answer questions about leisure - and the local theater is not bad, and there is a cinema in the district center (before it, though, half an hour by electric car, but you can also tolerate for a good film), and the district museum is worthy. And in the cities of half a million and more you in the blue eye prove that in this hole it is important nothing to do but drink beer in front of the TV and give birth to children, because what in the castle of entertainment. Well, yes, there is some theater, even prizes at international festivals are taken, but we have never been there, what are we, the esthetics - the theaters to shast?

What is characteristic, if you say the same, you will immediately be called a Moscovite and accused that it was you personally who brought them to the couch and home.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №135470
 01.11.2016
On the "radio" shopping center pursue various advertising of shops in it.
Including the advertising of the children's goods store, which occupied the entire floor, and now moved somewhere.
This advertisement begins with a few seconds of children’s laughter without music, words and any background.
On the empty floor are now working on transformation into other shops.
Not knowing that the child has moved, I go up that floor one evening.
The doors open, I see illuminated by a narrow strip of elevator lighting of the forest, some struggles, materials.
There was darkness and a loud child’s laugh.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №135469
 01.11.2016
You can think of Halloween as a ragged holiday, but I like to have fun laughing at my fears)) dressed the child with a skeleton and led to the store - the buyers stood aside, the treasurer said no, and the drunk teenagers at the exit asked to take a photo together))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №135468
 01.11.2016
Igogo #78: What should I do if the prejudice suddenly ends?
There are pharmacies24, shops24
Igogo #78: Yes... there is... But! The size of the needed may not be... by diameter not all prejudices fit me...
Purchase the fingers :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №135467
 01.11.2016
In Germany there is no such job as a cashier and a bank.

clearly. That is, every time I go to the commercial bank to remove money from the card, they sit there and talk to pensioners.

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