We went somehow with colleagues on a Friday evening in the sauna with a large male company. They got together as they should, drank in moderation, spoke from heart and slowly walked around the houses. One will leave, then a few will leave. The most persistent go the last, and one says:

Where are my cowards? I put them in the jeans pocket and hanged the jeans in the dressing room on the hook. Jeans are here, but no cowards in the pocket.

They sought, sympathized with him, he squeezed from the heart and went home without cowards. Stretched the jeans right on his naked ass and the width of the MPH barely stuck. I don’t know how they met him at home and whether he managed to hide from his wife the absence of cowards... But he knew it!

And another colleague, who left a little earlier, was met by his wife and teenage daughter at the entrance to the apartment and from the back pocket of jeans his wife was solemnly pulled out stylish "boxers" Calvin Klein.

During my pregnancy I was very careful. Around the tenth road public transport, any crowds, aggressive people - in short, everything that could bring physical harm to me and the future child. She was just “turned” in her safety.

One day my mom and I came back from a walk and found a suspicious smell of gas in the kitchen. Mom for the chance sent me out of the kitchen, and began to check if everything was okay with our gas plate.

I sat in the next room and listened tightly. Finally I asked with anxiety, “Are you okay?”

I heard my mother scream, “Lieve me!”

I also slept. by Pol. Covering his head with his hands. I still thought that, probably, now there will be an explosion, the debris of the walls will fly, like in a movie, and that my mother is just a hero, decided to protect me, pregnant, from the explosion, sacrificing herself.

I lie. A minute passed and no explosion. My mom comes into the room and wondered why I was lying on the floor in such a strange position.

It turns out that she heard me say I was not well. She advised him to lie down. Pregnant by no means. And then I went out to see if there was anything – waterboards there, or something else. With the gas, everything was fine.

When I was a kid, my parents and I lived in the far north.

My dad went to the tundra for a few months, my mom worked day by day. They survived as soon as they could. And here I was a beautiful five-year-old princess all the days sitting alone at home, doing only what I wanted, and I wanted to wreck my mom's closet and torture the cat. For the first time in a month, he washed, ate normally and decided to sleep like a white man in bed. My mother left for another day. I did the usual thing, dropped out her cosmetics, and in the 90s it was pretty bright and original cosmetics) painted as much as I could, and I could draw the mouth of a clown and fall black eyes blue, dressed Daddy's parade shirt with medals he skilled in Afghanistan passed, Mommy's fat, who didn't want to hold, had to fix it on the head with a frog mask. And all that princess from the horror movie went to wake her dad. With a wild whisper, I hit my dad with the words, “Look how beautiful I am.”

On this day, I learned what Russian language is diverse and powerful. Dad smoked again.

XHH: I once repaired the car in the garage and it caused me to joke. He took the old bag, pushed it into the bucket, went down there, tied the bag and put it outside the gate. I wanted to throw it in the garbage on the way home. As you may have guessed, the package has been removed. Moreover, it is unlikely that the thief would start unbinding the node, breaking the package faster.

One boy had a birthday (4 years old). A crowd of the same carapuses 3-4 years old.

The animator leads the party and says: guys, why are we all here? The children are a little dull and silent, looking at the animator with interest. The animator decides to suggest and continues:

Maybe today is New Year?

No is!

Maybe today is March 8th?

No is!

What is the celebration today? Let’s talk together, three or four!

All the children are chorus:

Three or four!

5 years ago, when he served in the Belarusian militia, he was driving with a partner on one of the streets in Minsk. On the sidewalk, he saw his sister talking to a girl. I asked my partner to stop and say hello to my sister. He got out of the car, approached them, hugged his head and greeted them. I have zero reactions, they talk. I’m standing, waiting, I think maybe the conversation is important, but inside it feels like something is wrong. I looked at my "sister" and realized that the features of the face were slightly different and the voice was different. But the hairstyle, the height, even the style of clothes like my sister’s. It came to me that it wasn’t her, I quietly turned, sat in the car, we left.

P.S I imagine what they thought: the mint came, stood quietly, listened to the conversation and left.)

Since the time of Ostap Bender, car runs have remained in Russia the most popular way to fight off-road.

My wife calls me:

- The cat came, sat on the laptop keyboard and he went out.

I, realizing that the combination of switching screens was probably pressed, first tried to explain what icons on the keyboard to look for... Then I realized that it was a long time and said that I would come in the evening to see.

He calls back.

You help everybody, but I can’t. and all. I fixed it myself without you.

How is? I ask.

The cat sat on the keyboard again. Everything worked out.

I went to the site with eco-cosmetics, and there... a shower gel in a brush. Gel for the soul in the brush! Millennials invented soap.