I was in the military, I leave in June.
Now about the main thing:
The callers! When you are asked: "In which army do you want to serve?" never. Remember, never say –
the partisan troops;
the domestic troops;
The most important is the star landing.

If you were poured into the top of the tea, it was not for generosity, but so that you could not put sugar there.

In the kitchen, under our feet, our cat rotates and with a loud, disgusting whisper requires something to eat, suddenly for a few seconds, dying somewhere in the emptiness. The wife asks, What did he see?
I remember the book "Night Watch" jokingly say - said cats live in several parallel worlds at once (read the layers of the summary), he saw something in some world ;-) What the wife answers - if they live in several worlds at once, then what shit to eat is asked in our world. and ;-)

Nikita Mikhalkov did not start filming "It's hard to be a god": he sincerely can't understand what's hard about this.

A young but confident teacher.
The studio of ISO (imaginary art) is introducing its students.
One of the first is quiet (and also, by the way, not without feeling)
A boy of seven years. Teacher: "And what
Besides painting, do you still work, Alisha? Student: "And I also go to
theatre circle!" - "Yes! How interesting! What are you there now.
Do you put it?" - "A Tale of a Stupid Mouse". Teacher (equivocally): and
Who got the role of the Foolish Mouse?", Alisha (gordo): "And we have two
The artists"

brothers Ukrainians, Belarusians and so on. by :

Well, the people, the population are strangely guilty that the steering wheel has piddars and dwarfs...

We, ordinary Russians, absolutely do not regret gas, our will was given to you for free, especially since we will not lose a penny for it. We also have roofs and pedals.

If almost thirty-year-old men give in a trip to the forest hunting rations, I bet that the first phrase will sound like this, "you fucking, you fucking, take, and the acky rotting behind. is verified.

For the first time in your life, you have also connected it with the pretext "download referrals"?=))
c) Venice

I read the newspaper a day ago, I stumble upon the announcement of "Taxi **** We will receive a telephone (evidently an eye) for new cars"
Decided, a joke for, call, the phone takes the girl
Taxi – Welcome to you!
I: Girl, I am about an advertisement in the newspaper
D: Yes, I listen to you
I: Which leaf do you take?
Q: How did you get rid of it already!! He throws the phone.

However, gamers also read newspapers %))

All the insects found in the army’s “green” soup, very beneficial for health because of the vitamins, which were cooked from urticaria gathered near a wooden sort, according to chefs, belonged to the class “it’s fried onions.”

In the center of Dushanbe only a week hanged a large sign "Keram". The people have fun. The fact is that "ker" in Tajik "h*y", and "ama" in Uzbek (which many here know) - "in p*zu".

The truth about big breasts:

Here everyone says that big penis is cool, girls like it, and so on. Do you know how hard it is to have such a house? As a happy owner, I will tell you.
So the big:
It is very difficult to walk with it and almost impossible to dance with it. When everybody dances, I have to sit in a corner and everybody thinks I’m a shit.
With a big member you can’t go without cowards. He runs on the ground, and some insects are constantly crawling on him.
He is constantly falling out of the pants of cowards, and the main thing - fucking fix.
It's impossible to talk to a girl who has big breasts and decoult - he's giving out all your intentions.
With a large member, it is impossible to sleep on the stomach, and if he wakes up at night, it prevents him from turning through the stomach.
A large member becomes insupportable during an erection.
Girls never believe that you have a very large penis, and when they see what it really is, they faint. Fucking unconscious is terribly boring :(
And if the girl is conscious, she complains that she has pain somewhere in her chest (
You can not wear fashionable narrow pants and jeans, because the penis has to wrap around the leg.
Sorry for the UH, but it is a scream of the soul!!! This is my last hope!! bring it to the best, maybe the collective unconscious will reduce it by at least a few dozen centimeters...