bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112872
 01.05.2015
xxx: good inhabitants hanged in agit posters "throw out rubbish - say chru-chru"
Who knew it would fall on such a graceful soil?
I found a d...op, who in the middle of the night orets a hru-hru and a shark grenade throws a pack of garbage from the window.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112871
 01.05.2015
The issue of piracy.
I liked how Radiohead did when Rainbow came out. You go to the site - you pay as much as you think you need, including £0, and you get the album.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112870
 01.05.2015
I have one relative, let’s call him, say, Yasha. Uncle under 40. He is, in short, a great theorist. He lives with his parents and has never owned his own household, but he loves to teach others as he should; he is single and childless, but he loves to give advice on how to build relationships in the family and raise children; he works in a state office, where he is not responsible for anything, but knows exactly how to organize his business. Overall, the creation is quite meaningless, but very fun.

Recently, Yasha decided that the beer butterfly of the last trimester of pregnancy did not decorate him and went to the gym. For the first lesson, he grabbed from three different cockroaches for trying to teach them how to swing properly (they are doing the wrong thing, he read!). In general, the plans have been adjusted, now Yasha does not want to go to the gym, but to the box, to give transfers, in the hint that there will be more serious damage in the event of it, offended.

[ + 24 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112869
 01.05.2015
Governor at the 9th of May:

"Everything can be married.
Meeting the youth of Gorillaz,
Which Second World
It’s already a bit confused with Trojan."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112868
 01.05.2015
So the copies, stop. Do you seriously think that if you can’t listen to the record, we’ll go and buy it?
Not to live. So stop broadcasting about “millions of lost profits” due to piracy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112867
 01.05.2015
Botox in between the eyebrows.
Xxx: Earlier, when I first shrugged my eyebrows, I immediately realized that I was angry. Now I have to scream. No more intermediate stage (

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112866
 01.05.2015
Comrade, what is your question?
I want to get a loan from your bank.
How is your name?
The splitters.
Why did you take the tail with you?
In any case.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112865
 01.05.2015
Regarding the charge after which the muscles and sticky oatmeal grind to feel the hopelessness of life:

There was one acquaintance, chilly and nonsense, with the guys always trouble. It can not walk for a long time, joints from birth are bad, dangerous. Wear heavy can not, and suddenly the kidneys will descend. I only ate cookies and chips, the rest was tasteless. But most importantly, she didn't like life, everything was boring.

After four years, we didn’t talk and met. It turned out to have begun to do half-dance, walk in the gym, eat properly (by the way, you can add shrimp and curacao to the meal). Suddenly, life played with new colors, the bridesmaids broke up, good friends, interests appeared.

Why am I this? No matter what, run away.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112864
 01.05.2015
Unrespected manufacturers, remember once and for all: Import replacement, this means "our domestic, only better and cheaper (because you do not have to lead from nowhere)", and not "native shit to fuck, but at European prices", not you, so to speak, are trying to replace.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112863
 01.05.2015
Once again. Do not jump if you do not like it. This already frankly suggests the idea of a complete schizophrenia of pirate supporters - "I am forced to pay for every shit." No is! You are being forced for consumed content. It is your right to consume it or not.
— — —
The next time you are sold instead of chicken - grill in an opaque package of inflatable bugs with EULA type "Opening this package you renounce all claims to its content, you are allowed to use the content only one, in a dark room and with closed eyes, breaking any item you become a pirate,..".
Your right is to consume frogs instead of chicken or not.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №112862
 01.05.2015
Today, 1 May, my wife and I came out of Vladivostok in a car accident (not by our fault). A traffic jamming.
“Would you help?” said one driver.
“Are they all alive?” asked one driver.
“Learn to ride, cowboy,” ten people said.
“Heaven bought the right, fool!” greeted twenty people.
“The idiots of the...eye,” thirty people complained.
They photographed the broken cars – a thousand people.
We were cursed by ten thousand people.
“I’ll buy your car,” a mysterious stranger who has a connection with GAI sent a SMS.
I want to say to you, dear “country” people. I have also seen you all in the grave, with rare exceptions.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112861
 01.05.2015
Finished by:
A total nonsense.
and----
Amy, my wife?? to
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It is not in a parallel universe.
==== is
It’s scary to say, but a pink haircut, a charged tablet, porn and three kittens in bed replace a full-fledged man. Fully and equally.
==== is
Terribly, but a cute whore and a bottle of red wine perfectly replace a girlfriend and wife.
___________________
Would a prostitute give birth? Would the prostitute wash? Or a bottle of wine (which would be more fun)? Yes, at least I didn’t say that a prostitute would replace a full-fledged woman. Here is a bottle of wine.
— — —
Why do I need someone "to clean" I can do it all myself. If the homework is very difficult, I will hire a service company. I don’t understand, but from three cats now girls can get pregnant? A prostitute can get pregnant and become a decent wife to someone, she is not an alien, but the same woman.
________
You have lost anyway, accept it. You need another woman to replace one woman, and the author of the original quote suggested a set to replace a man, which does not include a man.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112860
 01.05.2015
They split immediately after the first sex. He stated that she was not small and he would now call her Deep.
-----------
Why was the girl so insulting?
I would take and become called "small" his MPH, once for him deeply.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112859
 01.05.2015
XXX: Have I told you?

We walked the day. Children’s playground is standard.
A family was walking around. Mom, Dad and 2 sons. They are all flavors! 😉
The older boy occasionally climbed on the hill and also climbed.
The hills are new. Plastic (or something like that) shorter when children ride + sun = static
Then the boy fell again. He approaches his father and quietly asks: “Dad, why when I ride, I feel...”
It is electricity. You feel like the wind, right?
Son (thinkingly): Yes... Or as if Obi-Wan Kinobi is using his power

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112858
 01.05.2015
<alx> ge, here the American writes, came to us experience to take over
<alx> how to get rid of suckles?
<alx> successfully takes over, see

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112857
 01.05.2015
Copyrants, their opponents and all other visitors to theaters and torrents:
A long time ago there was an interesting idea: at the exit of the movie theater is put a fuck with buttons: red, yellow and green. The viewer presses one of these buttons. Green means that the movie is OK and the cinema must send the charges to the renter. Red is a fucking movie, but the charges paid to the renter go to the Antarctic Penguins Protection Fund. Yellow is 50/50.
And to demand the movie theater’s refund of money – what is the movie’s fault? He showed the movie, his job is done.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112856
 01.05.2015
Do not believe:

Contraceptive pills should be for men. It is more logical to shoot in the hollow, rather than shoot in the armor.
--------
They were developed! But side effects such as nausea, headaches, mood swings and weight gain were considered unacceptable, and the bar was covered. Where to laugh? All these side effects are greatly present in women’s pills.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112855
 01.05.2015
Determining the quality of products such as movies, games is not elementary, because such cases are decided in court.
-----------

To determine the quality of such products is elementary. For example, for the film:

1st Entrance to the hall is free.
2nd He entered the hall before the advertisement - received a hundred rubles.
Three The first half hour of the movie is free of charge.
4 is Exit from the hall after the end of the film is 500 rubles.
5 is Leaving the room after the first half an hour is proportional to how much time remains until the end of the film.

This is just something that suggests me that as a result of the cult filmmakers will learn a lot about themselves.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112854
 01.05.2015
Badabasdudubas: In a few days the whole "Progress" will fall into the ocean.
Here is the chair.
Daf: Let it rest with "Peace".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112853
 01.05.2015
Anelyan: You need to make an announcement type"Attractive such a girl, with a great sense of humor, the soul of the company, with brains also lucky, responsible, moderate jealousy, surrounded by love and affection of an attractive and decent young man.I cook deliciously, I don’t want to get married"And all the men at your feet))
I can’t find normal shoes for a month, but you’re about men.

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