bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №150179
 01.05.2018
I tell my mom, say don't open to anyone, everyone goes.Elderly people watch different programs about the perpetrators all day, but they don't take the role of victims on themselves.At least many.Open the doors to pseudo-gas drivers, water pipers, etc.I can't be around always,but! I bought a police suit and hanged it in the hallway to look.It worked.We came, greeted and dropped.But 4 apartments in our house went on that day.Buy your parents the right headscarves.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №150178
 01.05.2018
Success is the ability to be in the right place at the right time.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №150177
 01.05.2018
Six months ago, a new restaurant opened in our small town. An entrepreneurial Tatar opened a shale and named it by his name - "U Mirzaya".

Like every thoughtful businessman, he put advertising expenses into the budget. For the first two months, promoters distributed leaflets on the streets, advertising banners on the fencing invited to go for a delicious snack, and SMM shoppers posted in the social network tasty photos of ready-made dishes. There were guests in the cafe, but Mirzau wanted something like this, so that the whole city knew about the ego institution!

After analyzing his budget and prices for advertising campaigns, he stopped his choice on the radio. Having come up with a few short, but tangible slogans such as: "At Mirzaia - delicious and cheap!", "At Mirzaia - all guests are happy!", he signed a contract with the local radio station. Literally for the day, a media plan was made and audio videos were recorded.

Everything went well until the next day the city heard a radio advertisement, where a well-established male voice spoke with feeling and arrangement:

The dog died – all the guests are pleased!

You pay too little, you pay too little!

The dog has died – now it is more enjoyable and tasty!

After these slogans went the address of the cafe and the phone. Advertising instantly became the city’s mem, and revenue in shale has almost doubled! Luckily with the name Mirza.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №150176
 01.05.2018
What does it mean to give parliamentarians a country average salary? So you can agree before you offer them to live according to the laws they adopt!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №150175
 01.05.2018
1: Somewhere I read that the scriptwriters of Santa Barbara at some point got confused in the characters and plot lines. Realizing this, they introduced a maniac into the plot, who gradually cut off all the unnecessary characters, without any motives, simply because he is a maniac.



The guys as much as they could.



In other words, are you confused? Couldn’t they see it all over again?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №150174
 01.05.2018
Teacher of Psychology:

Imagine an adjective that describes you and begins with the same letter as your name. Let’s start with you, Costello.

and creative.

and well. Why Creative?

I couldn’t think of another word for the letter “k”.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №150173
 01.05.2018
I work in a taxi. The client sat in the car.

and further dialogue.

I: Please cling to me.

K: And what then? In front of Gaia?

I: What does Gai have to do with it? This is for your safety.

Q: Are you a bad driver? I will not go with you!

He got out of the car and cancelled the order.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №150172
 01.05.2018
The daughter was driving in the bus today and heard a conversation between the driver (B) and the passenger (P).

The driver is talking on the phone.

Q: “Driver, do you know that it is forbidden to talk on the phone while driving?”

A: “And I talk to myself, and I just hold the phone in my hand.” Showing a already turned off phone.

P: “Now I’m even more afraid.”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna