I was at sea with my wife. A number of houses, a number of handwashers and a pavilion on the street. I wake up in the morning and have no wife. I go out - bending near the laundry machine, my wife brushes her teeth, I approach, tightly press, take my hands behind my chest and say 'Hello, how are you doing?' and. Responding and answering is OK. I feel my hands – it’s not right. I turn my head, in 3 steps, my wife sits in the pavilion in the same crazy nightmare and drinks coffee! It was funny and shameful at the same time.

Xxx: I once sat in the road with a guy somewhat unfamiliar. He cuts and cuts on me.

I sit and think, what’s wrong? It looks like he is in order, dressed normally. So what, what?? to

And then he gets a cell phone, shows me silently the screen. There is my face on the back. I looked, well, very similar to the girl, only brown eyes, and I have green. The Miracles)

P.S. Jokes about "with makeup all girls are the same" are not suitable, I am virtually not colored.

I come home somewhere in the late 90s and see on my wife’s face that the shake is going to be a shit. But she suddenly somehow exhales, relaxes and continues to behave as usual – welcoming and positive.

It turned out (it took a long time to try out) that she was in the bus and saw out the window, as I was kissing with some telecome near the fountain. She jumped out at the next stop, ran back to organize genocide and quartering for everyone, but no one was found on the scene.

I was only saved by the fact that my double at the fountain was in a blue jacket. And my exactly the same blue hanged at the time at home in the closet, I walked in black, in it and came from work.

According to my wife, there was my absolute double, to the smallest details and gestures, and if the colour of the jacket coincided, no arguments would help, she would not believe in my innocence.

She was jealous of the shopkeeper, so they eventually divorced. 

Peter is usually not alone. He can be Ilf and Petrov, Petrov and Vasekkin, Petrov and Bashirov. And if he is alone, it means Petrov-Vodkin.

We work with my husband hanging TVs on the wall and hiding wires-boxes. A few paintings from the workplace. Below is an example of what we do.
Arrived on order. The TV is not unpacked, it is in a box, but the gardens pull out of it. During the move, a coincidence happened, as a result, the TV was pierced through the gardens like a shampoo. E... and how? The owners said that the new TV has already been bought (by the culprits) exactly the same, so please do everything, and bring it and it will only be hanged. We are what? We did nothing, once the sizes matched, everything was done, the payment was received and we went to the next order.
Arrived on order. There is no TV! of the word at all. Delivery from abroad, delayed, will arrive only in a week. Mllll...blll...there are no words of saliva, they could warn, they called out that we were going, in an hour we will be. Snipped 10 backs for a false call on gasoline, re-formed the order. Everything was done in a week.
Arrived on order. The TV is there, even unpacked, the harpoons do not shake, but... no walls. The wall was not carrying, false. There are bars between which the glass is wrapped or how this filler is called. An hour before us came to put the air conditioner and something went wrong there, the wall was broken.Suddened the tenth for a false call, advised to raise the socket that would be behind the TV. Everything was done in a week. Even a discount on that ten for the root that was hidden behind the TV made. Work has made us much easier.
The professional deformation. Like a real woman, I have insulator and cable straps in my bag. The divorce key. The small. I went to the fruit store, there two men at the refrigerator shelf are riding, repairing. One says, “So if I ask someone to give me an isolation now, who do you think will give it?” I silently extend his isolation.

I could never understand, and I probably won’t understand, why Western apples and tomatoes need to be pushed, and their iPhones and computers – not!? to