bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №67838
 01.08.2012
I sit with a guy in the kitchen.
I hope you will love me just as much as I do, and I won’t have to kill a dragon, win a war, scratch a ring.
I: But will you kill a dragon for me?
P: Of course though.
I: And the ring?
Q: Okay, I will kill and ring.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №67837
 01.08.2012
by Rihoxonu:
What to do if it smells bad from the mouth?

The Emperor:
1st Brushing the teeth.
2nd Spray the mouth with an elixir.
Three Drying the gum.
4 is Take a textbook of Russian in your hands and break your head at it!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №67836
 01.08.2012
Interesting observation: 90% of lazy men think they have a beard

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67835
 01.08.2012
Victorian
I want to communicate well with you.

Nikita
Can we communicate?

Victorian
to communicate

Nikita
Try again
Communicating

Victorian
Communicating

Nikita
Be careful
I am with me.

Victorian
well
to communicate?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №67834
 01.08.2012
A girl came to visit me (and I now live in the village myself) well, and how I have mountains of unwashed dishes.In general, from my black pot, she made red! and in the grapes 0_o

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №67833
 01.08.2012
I am from the organs. You will be surprised, but for monitoring this forum I get a salary.

Kolya: Sometimes it seems to me that I also get paid for monitoring this forum and a couple of sites with funny cats.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №67832
 01.08.2012
XXX: Do not shake your soul! Or do you agree and we and Lenka will take and suddenly come to you at the house!)
YYY: Oh, I’ll look at you... it’s not that 210 km from Moscow... I would say that on your pejo it’s a VAN VEY TICKET.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67831
 01.08.2012
XXX>I beg - watch when Word emphasizes, plus.

YYY> the red?

XXX> and green

XXX>Green - it does not mean: "Leh, offgenically wrote!" :)

[ + 28 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67830
 01.08.2012
I can’t share it!!! to
I went to the water today. In the area of Siamži, road drivers corrected the mark... From a solid line they made a... Those guys!!! to
Beginning of day. On the street +30 C. We go. People in orange are breaking the road...Thank you guys! The mood was up for the whole day!! This country cannot be defeated! ? 

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №67829
 01.08.2012
by Helldumbass:
The guy.
by Helldumbass:
I’ll tell you something, it’s great.
by Helldumbass:
I went to my grandmother now, to take medicine home, well, all means, went back. I stand at a crossroads, near a stop. There is a girl there, all of herself is a star. Pink cofflet, the whole face painted, painted like a mark in the march. Such a man approaches her, in a suit, in a Capo-ala mafia hat, and says:
by Helldumbass:
Girl, and I broke up.
I congratulate you.
Do you like to shoot?
You are sick, I don’t understand. Are you sick?
I like to pop. And to show. You seem to have a problem.
Why did you think I had a problem?
You are shooting?
The girls do not shoot.
- Girl, I have a wife, like a perdanet - so all the flies nearby breathe from the wheat. Here are the men - looking at the elderly and teenagers sitting next to me, including me - do you like to give up well? The people began to sneeze, agree, say they like to strike the gazka.
by Helldumbass:
“You see, girl, you seem to have trouble, since you don’t shoot and don’t crack. I have a remedy for constipation - and get out of - under payment what? Not a Thompson machine. What - the box - this * name of the medicine * will help you from any constipation! The girl did not wait, her bus came, she sat down and left with an offended face.
by Helldumbass:
These are the comedians today.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №67828
 01.08.2012
Russians are Russians everywhere.
The International Store at Brighton Beach. A row of Russians behind salads, among them is an American, behind the shelf a Russian woman of middle age. The turn comes to the American, he begins to explain what he needs, naturally in English. And here the saleswoman, apparently not burdened with a deep knowledge of English, turns somewhere deep into the store and screams: "Love, help plz, and then here the foreigner has come!"

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67827
 01.08.2012
I think being gay is blatant: they have their clubs, their shirts, their music and their atmosphere, if they didn’t fuck in the ass, they would be gay.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67826
 01.08.2012
From the Zoo:
The phone call. Employee covering his hand:
The units are calling! They agree, the contract will be signed!
and smiles joyfully)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №67825
 01.08.2012
Even deep decoult always has something to hide.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №67824
 01.08.2012
One shot decided to spit a crude GPS iron from the bus, sell it and drink the money. Waited for the final, stretched out his hand, pulled out the device (he was on a bilateral scotch) and dropped somewhere in the courtyard. The trick is that the cradle was not a navigator, but a piece of a control system. On the autonomous power, the railway properly painted all the movements on the dispatcher’s map... The coins, according to the instructions from the dispatcher’s, stretched for 15 minutes and took the frame on the hot.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №67823
 01.08.2012
XXX: Down the p*dars from the chat!!! to
Admin: the XXXX user is fun on his own wishes.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67822
 01.08.2012
I’ve lived in Peter all my life, but I’ve gone astray today.
At 10 meters from the entrance to the subway, a bunch of bombers were sitting down quite strongly. Heat in the sun because of the warm weather. One of them clung to the people standing at the subway for cigarettes and gallantly served ladies. I also smoked at the end.
What surprising. Each lady, having drowned, stood up and carried a cucumber to the urn at the entrance to the subway. The cigarette shooter did the same.
I am still in a cultural shock.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №67821
 01.08.2012
Zen Buddhism in Russian:
Do you wake?
to be!
Zen is...

[ + 28 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67820
 01.08.2012
The beach is strict.
Healthy man with his seven-year-old son
He climbs into the water and tries to teach him how to swim, then looks at him questioningly.
And how it goes:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! to
0 0 0

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №67819
 01.08.2012
Habr, Topic about buying apartments
Lieman: My friend chose an apartment with a girlfriend - they took a cat with them and entered the apartment. He tried to run there, cried, was nervous. In the end, they chose an apartment where their cat felt well. They live joyfully.
Tangro: So 5 rubles for a bubble of valerian and knowledge of popular superstitions helped the seller to color the apartment.

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