bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №21245
 10.10.2009
In a Kazakh hotel, the girl behind the stand instead of the first page of Sorokin's passport revealed the difference with the Schengen visa:
Your name is Shenzener, right?
“We are all a little shengeners in this life,” Sorokin said, wiping tears.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №21244
 10.10.2009
Itsme
The End of the World 2012:
They say in 2012 there will be a third world war. chemical and biological weapons.
YYY: So prepare to become a mutant, although you may have immunity
XXX: I am drinking acetyl

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №21243
 10.10.2009
XXX: And yet the area of service has become better. I remember when we studied at school, you come to the pharmacy, you ask for condoms, and she asks you so with eggs and on the whole pharmacy: "And not too early yet!And you come and ask the condoms, and they are so polite: "What are you?"
Yyy: No, San, the area of service here has nothing to do. You just grew up.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №21242
 10.10.2009
xxx: watched the movie "All the fools always say no"???? to
Tagged: false
Xxx: Fuck... it didn’t work

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21241
 10.10.2009
My wife works in a beauty salon. Grith, I stand next to a colleague who cuts a guy. During the haircut, he unfolds it to his face and says to him, “Switch your legs, I will cut the brick.” The salon fell.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21240
 10.10.2009
XXX: fucking 10 minutes before the holiday... I was quieter before the wedding

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21239
 10.10.2009
Axl: I heard that in order to get a job in Moscow now, you need to know at least a little Tajik language.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21238
 10.10.2009
Nosferatu: Have you read the Twilight?
Dangerous language: No
Dangerous language: only seen.
Nosferatu: How do you feel about the film?
Nosferatu: Have you seen the book?
Destroyed language: I saw through the window.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21237
 10.10.2009
What does your nick mean?? to
It’s just a set of letters...

[ + 57 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21236
 10.10.2009
People who work as a cashier, ah niddhopp! I don’t know how to ask, so I’ll describe the situation.

Generally speaking, we have a large company with a lot of employees and everyone receives a different sp. Well, the cashiers issue different amounts absolutely calmly (publish on hand, with cards and banks while the company does not cooperate on these issues). And it turned out that I came to get a sp, and there a cute girl - a blonde, talking on the phone, instead of my earned 30k, gave me 300k rubles, and in papers writing that 30.

I, at first fell into a slight shock and could not react and now I sit at home and don’t know what to do. On the one hand, the hollow and for the enterprise is not a fatal damage, and on the other hand, I wonder what will happen to a nice cashier? Can she be forced to pay? I don’t really want someone to get a deadline because of my hoax.

No need to bring to the top, just ask the accountants to answer, I will be very grateful.

[ + 80 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21235
 10.10.2009
She: Here we put the jeans under the trousers in the winter so that it is warmer, and how do you manage not to freeze?
He: And we don’t shave our feet.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21234
 10.10.2009
We have a group, we play guitar. A girl, 7 years old. He wants to work with us. Let’s show you how to play guitar. The child looks at us with admiration in the eyes. We finished playing and asked:
How about you?
You are like a morning.
The whole group thought of killing the child, the wounded, or himself.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21233
 10.10.2009
***** (10:28:18 8/10/2009)
My light, Zepkalce, say, and tell all the people: who in the world is the sweetest, the whiter and the whiter of all?! to
Dingo-Chg (10:28:26 8/10/2009)
I don’t know them, but it’s probably me.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №21232
 10.10.2009
I was in the elevator with a friend and two girls who spoke German.
After leaving the elevator:
Friend: I can’t understand why I’m excited by girls who speak German.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21231
 10.10.2009
Commentary on:
I: Len buy Gandons and beer and blow to me!! to
She : Why?O O O
I: Beer fucking in the Gandons!! to
___________________________________________________________________
In the air program "in the world was ". We have a clear representative of this species. This species believes that it occupies the highest stage in human development. Previously, this species was listed in the Red Book, but judging by the fact that this quote is in the "best Abyss", they are increasing their population (which is very upsetting). In this we say goodbye to you until the new encounters of the Lord.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №21230
 10.10.2009
Here I noticed, if your girlfriend is fascinated with photoshop and you want to know what she does not like in your appearance, then give her your photo with the words "Make the picture better"... Checked! and :)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №21229
 10.10.2009
XX: Why do you need a spleen?
It hurts to laugh and run away.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №21228
 10.10.2009
Telephone interview on local television:
"What punishment does pedophilia deserve?"
Options of answers:
"The Death Penalty"
"The Death Penalty"
"The Death Penalty"
"The Death Penalty"

We are hinting :D

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №21227
 10.10.2009
Wikipedia article on the Darwin Prize:

There is a known case of the awarding of the Darwin Prize to a thief who escaped the pursuit and personally by inattention crossed the fence of "a place not so far away"..."

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №21226
 10.10.2009
So, now the BOR is becoming a newspaper? A little info + anecdote?

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