bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №71328
 10.10.2012
The question!! Is there a ZUMA for Daltonists? Or I’m always losing.)

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71327
 10.10.2012
x: The Javist enters the dining room and says "Publick static fileal Borst borst new Borst, please."
y: balbes it, in this case the borst will be available to everyone, you need private

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №71326
 10.10.2012
I had a mosquito... silently flying, not painfully biting and a ninja cock... I once saw him in the light of the monitor when he flew away from his hand.
I tried the shit of everything.
I catch him and bite him.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №71325
 10.10.2012
The work provides:
Hi to you! Do you make posters?
Hi to you! No, we do not do.
How much does it cost?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №71324
 10.10.2012
From Hubble, article: IBM supercomputer modeling the evolution of the universe
The comments:
xx: In two weeks I will start doing the same thing on the calculator. I will write the result as soon as I finish.
Yyy: Something suggests me that you will get the answer "42" :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №71323
 10.10.2012
After 5 minutes, the SMS says: “That’s 5 minutes.
A minute ago I wanted something else.
I put on the phone, and now never at all. Have you understood?” exploded
Brain, then silence, then a smile
In the mouth and in the head.
A long-awaited blessing
I finally understood, I understood!
Yeshua is!“!”

Friend, if you understand yourself, explain to others who suffer with a similar situation!

[ + 7 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71322
 10.10.2012
Do you understand the laws of thermodynamics?

There are overdose of things that we don’t understand, but that doesn’t affect them :) Thermodynamics remains thermodynamics, and the kissing boys are pidarasses.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №71321
 10.10.2012
I thought I should stop playing Warcraft.
alt:I said in turn "Faster, deadly!"

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №71320
 10.10.2012
Officials suggested limiting the expenses of teenagers. The spending of minors aged 14 to 18 years is proposed to be limited to three subsistence minimum per month.

I offer a cure for stupidity.
and expensive. The guarantee
Discount Members

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №71319
 10.10.2012
In the programming:
-Michael, do you agree that you need to use a whole type?
Yes Yes
Hope, do you agree that you need to return the result?
Yes Yes
I declare you an argument and a function. You can link!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №71318
 10.10.2012
XXX is car. People are late for lectures and the lecturer does not allow them anymore. Then another late student comes in and begins to rub that he and a couple (!) The students helped the rector to drag some trees. Prepod allows for the first and last time to enter with such a scourge, well, and with him comes a crowd of 30 people...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №71317
 10.10.2012
Dima Kadyakov: the mine does not receive the registrar of Pamagite pajaust
Project Qip: Dima, unfortunately, QIP technical support is only available in Russian.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71316
 10.10.2012
XXX: It is great.
YYY: It is a pleasure to try for the good of responsibility.
YYY: The Sheep
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71315
 10.10.2012
xxx: I love my post
xxx: ordered two days ago from Moscow cheap flash for 32 gigas. Gave me a postal number to track through the Russian Post website. See: sent such a number from there, weight: 10 grams. Next line: delivered to another city, weight: 0 grams.
XXX: I feel, there is no longer a flash :(

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №71314
 10.10.2012
scheme of our state.

Do we need to improve the work of the IMF? We will not register complex crimes and therefore increase disclosure.
Should the FSB work? We will announce everyone who receives funding from abroad by foreign agents.
Need to fight drugs? Recognize the drug food mac and anesthetic.
Do you have to fight drunk driving? Reduce the minimum permissible level of alcohol in the blood to 0 promile.
People are protesting? We will adopt a law according to which all protesters will be held accountable for any knockout.
Bad for the economy? We will hold a multi-million summit where we will tell everyone how well it is.
Sport in the ass? Winter Olympics in the summer resort. Let everyone see that we are doing well with the sport.
Do you hate the national leader? We will give him a victory in the election with a significant gap.
Officials’ crimes are visible to everyone. The law on slander and basman justice will help. Whatever they wreak.
Need to improve education? Let’s figure out our ratings so that our universities would be the first.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №71313
 10.10.2012
Vehicles for pedestrians.

The focus passes through the crossroads, the grandfather runs out directly under the car. Ford is slowing down. Grandfather approaches the car several times, throws on the hood, then lies under the bumper and waits. Gai is coming in.
The driver comes out, takes his grandfather's hair and begins to methodically damage his face, run mints and demand that the crime be stopped. The driver points his finger to the video recorder.
The phrase of our "defenders" killed:
Well, that’s you, good, we still need it.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №71312
 10.10.2012
The situation. Someone was killed at the entrance. A drunk fight, the man fell from the stairs, broke his head, a lot of blood. The body lies, no one is disturbed.
Two people are nervous and smoking. Here, a 17-year-old girl descends from the upper floors, she still does not see the crime site. The men are stressed, morally preparing to catch a creature that has collapsed. And she greets and carefully, calmly goes around the corpse, goes down further.
Everything was cleaned and the blood was washed. One night, one of the men meets the same girl and jokes:
Why have you fainted? Not at all scary?
She looked at him sadly and replied:
I would like to, but I was late to work.
Take care of women =)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №71311
 10.10.2012
I saw a funny guy on the site today. His status was: “Who needs a cute boy with red hair and a skilled cook at the same time?”) )"
Ho and what?
I asked him what his profession was. He was offended.
You are a troll, fucking 😉

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71310
 10.10.2012

Number of Messages: 495
Well, the fact that Santa was depicted by the father subordinate to me immediately became clear.

The question is "Where do children come from?" was interesting.
When I was about 4 years old, I thought about going to my parents’ bedroom early Saturday morning with this question.
Well, what to say, the moment was chosen successfully - Mom told me about cabbage, and Dad about barley. But at the same time, they laughed so cheerfully that I immediately understood that strawberries and cabbage were associates of Santa Claus.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №71309
 10.10.2012
Even on the first day of work, when I was asked to "fix" customs documents in Photoshop, I began to suspect something wrong...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna