bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72819
 10.11.2012
Yura: shakes kangaroo are prohibited

Oleg is serious?

Yuri: Yes

Oleg: What is the reason?

Jura: Man will die stronger if you beat

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №72818
 10.11.2012
In my office, the director is my wife. But at night I relentlessly avenge.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72817
 10.11.2012
The command had long chosen whom to send on a business trip, to the distant hills. Fortunately, the boss was familiar with the RTS genre and my refusal in the form "that you can surround me with a frame doesn’t mean you can send me out of the map." was accepted.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №72816
 10.11.2012
From the Girls Forum:

3 years ago, just put an ass, knocked a guy, 22 years old, talked a week, calls to meet, and I don't know how to refuse. I agreed. God, go to the park. He goes, some nonsense carries, half an hour has passed, he asks: and we will kiss today? I got rid of it, Gray: No!
Let’s go... Horek somehow jumped over, he said to me, “Oh, I’m without flowers, but I’ll catch you!” And escaped in the bushes...
I didn’t think for a long time 😉

[ + 52 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72815
 10.11.2012
From the trends about names on dairy:
In our family there is a tradition: grandfather, grandfather and father, all Gennady Gennadyevich. The last of the Genes a number of years ago suddenly gave birth to a daughter (everyone was waiting for a son), and the family hanged. They thought first to name Galey, then the mom excavated some encyclopedia of names and found out that there is a female variant. and Gennady. I’m twenty-five, I’m a hundred percent fairy, and my name is GENA.
Hope, away from sin

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72814
 10.11.2012
xxxxxxxxxxx:
AlexPushkin has used skill %duel% on Dantes
AlexPushkin missed attack
Dantes deals 500 dmg
Dantes won
Yyy: AlexPushkin has left the game.
Lermontoff: A poet, a slave of honor has died.
Dantes was banned by Nicolas I.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №72813
 10.11.2012
Student: Why do we spend 5 minutes on an oral account at the beginning of each couple? Half a couple is wasted.
Teacher: 5 minutes = half pairs... Do you still doubt that you need an oral account?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72812
 10.11.2012
“I’ve noticed that some people use the ‘suka’ instead of the ‘black’ and the ‘black’ instead of the points.

You are right to fucking.

[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №72811
 10.11.2012
Married to a German. We live in Germany.
He’s in the room, I’m in the kitchen. Here I hear the thunder of shootings and or in Russian - "Cover! The back! The outbreak! Go away!"
I am: O_o!!!!! to
I run into the room - and this ass is kidding the Russians! Destroy your lunch and translate it to me, or I don’t understand what the commander wants of me. (and under the nose) how well I married that...."
The fucking...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72810
 10.11.2012
Making a fly an elephant, they don't think about where to put his excrete afterwards.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №72809
 10.11.2012
Tonight’s Youth Radio Show. In the studio comes the essay: "My boyfriend asked to give her a cat, found such a beautiful one, and she changed her mind and does not want to take him. What to do with the animal?”
The Leader:
Well, I think the animal needs to be returned... to the parents, and the cat left to yourself.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72808
 10.11.2012
Yesterday was in tram with stretching, row and whistleblowing. In front of her was a roasted bleach with wrapped bandages with the middle fingers of her hands. In both hands! God is there and He hears me.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72807
 10.11.2012
The BDSM community:
XXX: Looking for Kiev
I am looking for a slender lower dog.
zzz: I am looking for a normal Verkhovna Rada (Ukraine)

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72806
 10.11.2012
The Friday. On the way home, he decided to take a beer. Going into our local camp, there are a few guys-Tajik, owners and sellers in conjunction.
A friend right from the threshold: “Hello, four black goats.”
After a long pause and expression:
"Hm... Good night The goat is dark. and beer. Three banks"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №72805
 10.11.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: here
Fish: here is what?
Fish: Is that all?
Fish: Is that crazy?
Fish: Sorry
XXX: Is that what happiness was?? to
The Fish: A Joke
Fish: harmless as a handicapped prostitute
Fish: I’m starting to understand why you’re so rarely writing to me.


[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72804
 10.11.2012
The book seller "All the secrets of the Internet":
And you will also learn how to freeze your operating system! After freezing you will be able to visit any websites, catch any viruses, download any programs, give the computer to children - they can do anything there. After freezing your OS will be invulnerable!"

My brain...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72803
 10.11.2012
At high gas prices, cars should be distributed free of charge.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №72802
 10.11.2012
From Habr:

"...to subscribers of mobile telephone network"

“Do you hear, kid, is there a radio telephone device for installing a radio communication session with another subscriber of a mobile radio telephone network?”

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №72801
 10.11.2012
My friend gave me a very expensive ring. In the evening I roll in front of my husband, he diligently pretends that he does not notice the ring, which I could not buy. I ask :
“Why don’t you care where I got my ring from? Has anyone given it to me? A man for example?
Congratulations, my husband reacted flegmatically.
Everything is known. I go to bed and say to my husband in the back:
You don’t love me at all?
He breathes hard, turning his face:
Where did the ring come from?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №72800
 10.11.2012
Statement by VKontakte:
Do you use social networks?
Yes – 10%
No – 90%

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna