I told a pupil (12 years old) about the premature death of my pet, Ahatina's puppet.

He picked out two candy bags:

Let’s remind ourselves of the fist? What was her name? Tell me about her.

I was sitting, chewing candy, and I was telling the story of Paco and Vassi’s snails.

- You know, I have never missed the slides before, and their life turned out to be more interesting than mine.

Life is an impractical piece of one-time use.

How the sailor Shurik from the vessel was discharged

The captain decided to write off the sailor Shurik for drunkenness in the nearest port of departure.
Only now? → In two months of flight. The crew was surprised.
I can’t drink so much! I can not! He said, health is no longer that.
We will be bored! The crew objected.
- But bring money from the flight home, and don't drink everything in the port cocktails! The captain pared, not very believing his words.
- We will drink them, - the crew did not agree, - only now we will be sad.
What? what? Rebellion on the ship entrusted to me? Who am I to you? Where are you for me? The captain showed his harsh character, reminding him that he was on the ship "first after God."

The nearest port was Cartagena, where we arrived in three days. Matros Shurik gathered his things and put a farewell banquet in the cabin company, attending the entire crew and the local agent representing the interests of our steam ship in the port.
The drunkenness continued until the morning, some sailors, after defending their guards, sat at the table, others left, entering duty. There were only four regular participants in the banquet: the captain, the ship's doctor, the local agent and the sailor Shurik himself.
And in the early morning of the next day on the pier, a taxi stopped at the trap to pick up Shurik from the steamboat and take him to the airport. But from the trap of the ship, instead of the discharged sailor, the doctor came down, who gathered in the nearest store for alcohol and cigarettes. Having seen a taxi, he rejoiced that he had another new super-capability here in Colombia, "to call a taxi with the force of thought," and Doc, without the slightest doubt, got into the car and left to replenish his stores of alcohol and tobacco.
Only by noon, when the director of the agent company appeared on the steamboat in search of the missing employee, the captain recalled in honor of what yesterday’s drunkeness began and who was the latinos who snorted at the doctor in the medical isolation.
So, on the first day of parking in the port, the sailor Shurik was unable to write off on the shore.

The next day, the captain categorically prohibited the crew from accompanying Shurik and personally controlled how he, accompanied by a shy agent, sat in a taxi. Three hours later the taxi returned – Shurik and the agent were dead drunk and, hugged, slept on the back seat of the car. The interrogation of the driver, conducted by the radiist, showed that the sailor Shurik offered a drink as soon as the car left the port gate. When the taxi arrived at the airport, the driver was asked to wait until Shurik ran to the bar for tequila and then told to take them back to the port, to the boat.
So, on the second day of parking to write off the sailors Shurik was also unable to.

The captain did not give up. He expelled Shurik from the steamboat to a roadside hotel located near the airport, and forbade him, under any pretext, to show up in the port. To the director of the agency, the captain promised that if Shurik did not leave the nearest flight, he would write such a letter "where it should be" that his firm would collapse "only by paying lawyers."
Two days later, we finished loading, closed the covers of the trums and prepared to leave the port, as suddenly a police car approached our trap.
Their own? The captain was asked by the local police officers, pulling out the drunken body of the sailor Shurik on the pier.
“My,” answered the captain with a heavy breath, and, turning to the watchman at the trap, ordered, “load him onto the steam boat.
Hurra, Shurik is back! The crew was pleased.
“I’ll write it in the next port anyway,” the captain promised the crew.
The crew agreed. - To drop the sailors Shurik from the steamboat is fun!

People who know how to make millions on Forex but instead teach it for $300 are my real heroes.

Xxx: There was one such case - too, a young man from the south had a room. A fairly well-known story - it was once frequently shown on television. In general, a young man, a southern man, honored to the extreme, came to the capital, decided to go to work, and he had a relative who was a senior officer in the well-known service of the first persons of the state. He made it for protection. And this guy, it turns out, when he has just arrived, has already managed to mess up on the road with a very important person alone. Then he got stuck with others, and they were from the same service as his uncle. In general, he made friends with them, there were the same untouched guys, and together they began to soak the law enforcers. In general, he removed a room in the center of a small capital businessman with his wife, who had a gallery store. As a result, he did not pay the quarter fee, with his friends, he scattered the whole house, deceived the wife of the owner of the apartment, the merchant himself was charged with the case and jailed, imagine, for betraying the Motherland, and the wife was eventually poisoned. And, I remembered, this guy from the south was named Darth Vader.