bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141176
 10.05.2017
Sometimes to start with yourself is like polishing copper on the Titanic. He is drowning. Your efforts will not work out.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141175
 10.05.2017
I don’t tell anyone "start with yourself". There is no garbage on the street, I plant trees from time to time, I throw plastic into a special container, there is no dog, so there is no one to clean. But all my actions do not affect either the alcoholics who hurt on the streets, nor the people with reduced social responsibility who throw away garbage, nor the mosavtodor, who in the seventh year, as if asked for it, can not bring in order 500 meters, dirt and remnants of asphalt that serve.
Walking the way home.
I can’t change the asphalt myself. How do I "start with myself"?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №141174
 10.05.2017
This

Without a doubt, "Unknown on the moon" is a thing for all times (it's from it quotes stick to place and not especially). But here is one nuance there is - Ponchik in a month has risen from a boomer to a millionaire. Of course, this is depicted with condemnation, but nevertheless... Or the main emphasis on the fact that he is [s]examiner[/s] _our_ fucking son?

You probably read the diagonals. Ponchik rose on an innovative start-up, introducing salt into food, and rose quickly. However, just as quickly and returned back to the bombs, as the local oligarch Dracula, who owned the land on the coast with salt, decided that the necklace on his site was free to extract minerals, and drove all the tiny shushers out of business, taxing all these startups with excessive royalties, after which the formation of Ponchik as a barracks in the amusement park began.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141173
 10.05.2017

What is your destruction? The old woman with a whistle? The witch that broke all the glasses, extinguished all the lamps? She does not exist at all. What do you mean by this word? It is this: if I, instead of operating every night, start singing a choir in my apartment, I will be destroyed. If I, entering the bathroom, begin, sorry for the expression, to urinate past the toilet and the same will be done by Zina and Daria Petrovna, the bathroom will begin to ruin. Consequently, the destruction is not in the clothes, but in the heads. So when these baritons shout “be the ruin!” – I laugh. I swear to you, I am funny. This means that each of them should scratch themselves in the back of the neck! And now, when he clears out all kinds of hallucinations and takes on cleansing the barracks — his direct business — the ruin will disappear by itself. You cannot serve two gods. It is impossible at the same time to melt tram routes and arrange the fate of some foreign outsiders! This is not successful for anyone, doctor, and especially for people who, in general, have lagged back in development from Europeans for 200 years, still do not quite confidently fasten their own pants!

by Mikhail Bulgakov. The dog heart.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141172
 10.05.2017
Macron is still a man of words. In the first grade, he told his teacher that he would marry her, and then he got married!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №141171
 10.05.2017
"And you read memories of people from the occupied territories". The memories of the Germans.
From a letter to a friend of the eferrier Felix Candels: “After crossing the boxes and arranging a good dinner, we started to have fun. The girl got bad, but we organized her too. No problem, all the department... don’t worry. I remember the counsel of the lieutenant, and the girl is dead like a grave.
The soldier told his parents: “On the second day of our forest march we arrived in the village. Cows and pigs walked through the streets. Even chickens and goats. Each department immediately slaughtered a pig, chicken and goat. Unfortunately, in such villages we stayed for one day and could not take a lot with us. We lived all that day. I ate at least two pounds of fried pork, a whole chicken, a bowl of potatoes, and another one and a half liters of milk. How it was delicious! But now we usually get into villages that are already captured by soldiers, and in them everything is united. Even in the boxes and in the basements, there is nothing left.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141170
 10.05.2017
After the Soviet assault of the German Königsberg in the zoo survived only the henot, lama and begemot Hans. And Hans survived not very: 7 injuries. It is easy to get to Behemoth. Zoo technician Vladimir Polonsky saved Hansa and kept a diary:
He accepted treatment for begemot on April 14, 1945. It was the first time I helped with water. Then I tried to give him milk. Next time the cabbage. Beethoven went to eat. But three days later he refused. I rushed to get a vodka. I gave 4 liters. After that, Behemot began to ask for food. I first put the enema (4 liters of distilled water), then started feeding it. Behemot tried to go out, but since he was drunk, he snorted himself... Behemot began to eat, but he did not recover. I put a second enema (4 liters of distilled water). Beethoven was recovering.
Two weeks have passed. Beethoven eats poorly. I decided to give vodka - 4 liters. Beethoven began to eat well. But back came the shutdown. I put another clitoris. Beethoven is fixed,
He eats badly. I decided to give vodka (4 liters), and the begemot began to eat great. There were unpleasant days, I eliminated them by changing meals. He managed to save Behemot without leaving him after 21 days. After 1 month and 19 days I have achieved complete health and now I am engaged in the training of the begemot as riding on the begemot in the park, etc.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141169
 10.05.2017
Hitler’s coat!
Really a coat!

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141168
 10.05.2017
Well, here I bring the garbage to the urn and clean up for my dogs. There are acquaintances who do the same. And at the same time, there are people walking nearby, who get to pick up their own dog fucking, even in the micro-area and hanging a bunch of containers with bags, and shrimpers, which collapse in all respects in the same place where they eat. They say "Start with yourself" is useless – "What is this? Let the doors clean, we pay the money!". Someone has noticed here that on Saturdays those who do not waste, clean up the shit. Pigs are cleaner, honest word, they, animals, sting at the maximum distance from the place where they eat.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna