bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127925
 10.05.2016
You got with your +17 in the office, about the imagination of the problem in general, in the ass of your +17, why when I open the windows in my car (outside +30-40) you voiced what blows? And in the office, the dirty condie is wrapped at +15-17
Normal temperature +22-25, and not sick, not cold
and who is upset - open the box for the night in the office, so that your smell and carbon dioxide are ventilated.
Urdue
There is quite a real allergy to the cold, and it does not help to wrap in something.
and there is still poor blood circulation and low pressure, which is not just treated, and in the conditions of stationary office work is still not real
and such people your "comfortable"+17 like a knife in the throat
You are hot? buy a personal fan with power from usb, the price is 50-200 Russian rubles, and you are not "hot", and we are not cold

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127924
 10.05.2016
I understand one thing about frostbite and penguins.
Here the frostbite is cold, they want to have at least 20 degrees in the office. The penguins say they are crazy. Air is not enough, so how do you, guys, help the air conditioner that drives the same air? From cooling to 17 degrees, it doesn’t get fresh.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127923
 10.05.2016
*image about vegans who feel great* - comment:

Egor: I’m a meat-eater, but the jokes about vegans already hurt my head.
Denis: Egor, my head hurts from meat eating. Vegan people feel great.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127922
 10.05.2016
XX: You understand that I’m late and can’t react calmly?
Drink a new drink.
xxx: thank you, but I had constipation a little differently last time, and to calm down, gently speaking, could not.
YYY: Oh, to the word from Persen, the opposite – it went well. There was no tranquility either.
xxx: great drugs, however: calm will not help, but will occupy the brain with new exciting problems

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №127921
 10.05.2016
XXX: Cabbage, shops... My grandmother told me that children appear if two people in the bowl clog and close. And the children there in the bank type homuncules are planted. My grandmother had a fantasy! :)

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127920
 10.05.2016
Best of all my grandfather on Victory Day congratulated Microsoft...
YYY :?? to
xxx: May 9 his computer with the pirate seven voluntarily updated to the face of a dozen

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127919
 10.05.2016
The xxx:
Tanja was upset, yesterday on the salute called, and I was sitting in a bear wrapped in a bear

The xxx:
The whole day today.

The xxx:
I changed my sister to skin.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127918
 10.05.2016
A: What is your cat’s name?
H is different. Now is Serena.
A: Is he a boy at least?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127917
 10.05.2016
The news reports that a Swiss company has purchased from an Arab right to sell a very large diamond weighing 404 carats.
Yyy: I’m a man though not superstitious, but I’t buy a diamond with such a weight for anything.
XXX Why? It’s not 666 carats.
YYY: Well imagine, suddenly it will be stolen?
Yyy: And then, as they say, the end is a bit predicted: 404 Not Found ;)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127916
 10.05.2016
About the dates of Christmas and Easter (I don’t know who answered):

Because Easter in Christianity is a more ancient holiday than Christmas. Easter was initially linked to the celebration of Peisakh, because in the Gospel of Christ the Tolls were crucified on the day of Peisakh, the Tolls on the day before this (the Gospels themselves differ in this). Since the dates on the solar calendar still nobody knew (they didn't even know what year it was, more precisely, which era this year should be counted), the connection to the lunar calendar was clear. And only in the fourth century the dates of celebrations were broken, so as not to be celebrated together with the Jews (this is exactly how it is formulated in the resolution of the church council). But still the attachment to the first full moon after the spring equinox left. Only the holiday now was to be on Sunday, and in no case to coincide with Paisach (if it coincided, it was postponed to the next full moon).
And the date of Christmas for a long time was not established at all, and different Christian churches celebrated it at different times. According to the solar calendar. There was no Jewish connection to that date.
There is no logic here)))))))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127915
 10.05.2016
xxx: Before you get married, calculate the cost of a daily housekeeper with the function of washing, cleaning, and cooking.
You will be surprised after the divorce.
YYY: I changed my mind, you may not come.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127914
 10.05.2016
At work, I often repair the roofs. Our "delicate creatures" periodically tear the socket out of the rotor, as if it had not been deliberately twisted (ah, from all the rope to the rope - chubby!!) is
I make repairs without disconnecting the electricity, singing: "I will kiss the wires and I will not be hit by electricity," which causes horror in our ladies.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127913
 10.05.2016
The darkness. The girl Tomo says:
You are healthy and red, you have no equals. Your shapes are like beds of spices that smell. You are like a tulip splashing mirra. Your sight is as magnificent as the mountains of Lebanon. Everything is desirable in you.
Are you talking about the cake again? Go to sleep, it’s too late.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №127912
 10.05.2016
XX: Today I will go to the village, potato grain, maybe it will grow.

Then take it and tell them before you land, “Who is the last of those goats?”
They will race!
We did that at school after the phone call. Everyone tried to get out of class earlier. And yes, they’ve all grown up. We are the clowns now! :)
I recommend. :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127911
 10.05.2016
And in Tyumen, at the parade, everyone went wrong: officers, tax, police, cadets, military... even three people carried the flag - and then not in the foot.
The only ones who went so that Stalin would applaud were African military students, who will freeze here on exchange not the first year. We call them the "angles".
But given how their teachers went, this is not the merit of Siberia, apparently, still the hard hand of the African dictatorship.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №127910
 10.05.2016
The city bus. At the bus station in the bus comes a tired man-driver with grabbles on a long slide. He sits on a free seat, holds the grable in his hand, the cradle is located vertically. After a couple of stops, a woman enters, stands next to the man, although there are free spaces and grabs the shirt. Further, the bus brakes sharply, the lady flies forward by inertia, the man gets a slide on the forehead. The woman indignated:

I thought it was a mandate! I put it here, you know.

The man looks up, calmly and somehow doomedly says:

Just like my wife. She will crush herself, then strike on me, and even on the forehead can crack.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127909
 10.05.2016
A few years ago, when my parents were still alive, my wife and I went to host them. We stayed for a week and flew back. A few days later, I got a call from my parents. Laughing, he told me a beautiful story. After our departure, as always, a home inspection was carried out for forgotten things, because they were always there. And here, in the room where we slept, two white sealed bags with incomprehensible powder were found in a glass vase. My dad took drugs and brought it to his mother. The children, it turns out, we have drug addicts, mother. What to do? Is it not drugs? Dad was watching TV. He took a knife, with a careless gesture of the American cop broke the bag and got the powder on the tip of the blade. And then then? have to try. What is the taste of these drugs? The hell knows him. Inhaling, he sent the substance to his tongue. I immediately splashed. I let go. Just the salt in the airplane lunch bag, which I put in my pocket and put in a vase at home. My father apologized for thinking badly about us, and I didn’t get offended. But I still have a smile on my face when I present this scene.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127908
 10.05.2016
News headline "The Syrian army declined involvement in the bombing of refugee camps"
About 86% of the population of Syria are Muslim
So I see "Syria!! Did you shoot?" "No, of course, this is the cross!"

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127907
 10.05.2016
In Chelyabinsk, friends left their son in the car and went to the store for a short time. When they came, they saw the following picture: The 6-year-old son has a few chocolates (Snickers, Bounty and something else there), he sits down and eats them with pleasure. When asked where he took them, he said he changed them to antiradar. He was left in the front seat, he was sitting with the window open, a man approached him and offered him a chocolate, he took them, and in exchange his uncle asked for this piece that lay on the panel. Antiradar for 5000 exchanged for 3 chocolates.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127906
 10.05.2016
Nature has a sense of humor. The existence of utkonos or allergy to cats in the son of Kuklaev is a direct proof of this.

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