bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №48733
 10.06.2011
<Stels> rotated in his hands a bubble with a green, which unnoticedly so turned out
<Stels> Hulk is very angry!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №48732
 10.06.2011
Dvorkin: When the tax inspector came to us in the accounting office and introduced himself to Kleshch Boris Yuryevich, I immediately understood that we will not get rid of him easily.

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №48731
 10.06.2011
The employee says:
I call to Nizhny Novgorod, I imagine: "This is Moscow!", on the other side of the phone: "I get up?and "

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №48730
 10.06.2011
xxx: we in Ukraine for a long time banned the minute, but the sunsets have been adjusted. The price is secondary :D
*Tarification of calls is carried out per second. Each first second of each minute of conversation is priced in the amount of the specified value per minute. Seconds from second to sixty are not charged.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №48729
 10.06.2011
He drove a boat camel to the bat, carrying eight tons of forest. When descending from the pot he breaks down and one of the wheels, overtaking the truck, moves forward, leaves for a meeting. Miraculously no one hit, he goes on, and ahead of a hundred meters in the crossroads!!! I was driving on the wheel (it again jumped through a crossroads). In short, my father came, they wiped everything with the wheel, the wheels never found! We found only the place where it stopped and fell, forming a flea in the dirt, and everything around it was scattered by traces of men's legs breaking somewhere on the asphalt...
What fucking thing, how?! How did they manage to ride the wheel in just three minutes?!?!? to

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №48728
 10.06.2011
When buying a computer:
The designer first looks at the diagonal of the monitor.
Processor speed and frame
- Video card manager (to make games go)
The main thing is that the chair is comfortable.
Top Manager in Design and Respect
The secretary is stupidly pleased that she is being bought a computer.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №48727
 10.06.2011
I stand in the yard, a nine passes by. In front of her suddenly appear children, well, and nine, of course, on brakes. A man comes out of her, and says:"Children, you are so tired of living? Do you want to see how the house 2 ends?"
What they get quite a logical answer:"Uncle, so long do not live!"

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №48726
 10.06.2011
I read on one website about the laws in Saudi Arabia:

Men’s doctors cannot examine women, and women’s doctors cannot examine men.

Women cannot be doctors.

Can women get sick?? to

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №48725
 10.06.2011
ddd (14:15:21 9/06/2011)
I got a real point tonight. I open my eyes at night and over me the drive is flying, really a casper, quite material, and up and down over me, then even rounded up and flew under the bed... I really already thought about how to run out of the house in cowards...

ddd (14:16:18 9/06/2011)
And we have a condor in front of the bed... he turned on some mode of a strong bump at night and from the force of the air flew up a single-use siren ball... so it circled over me.

ccc (14:16:38 9/06/2011)
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

ccc (14:16:51 9/06/2011)
I thought they said the truth:
Yesterday, at 10:41 a.m., a giant solar protuberanet separated from the sun. Temperature of 80 thousand Kelvin and speed of 1400 km / s.
His arrival on Earth is expected tonight/tomorrow morning.
Northern lights and psychic activation are possible."

ddd (14:16:58 9/06/2011)
But what was the worst... calmed up, she went to bed and laid that scratch ball there.

ddd (14:17:29 9/06/2011)
They were then two flying (we have a healthy closet with a mirror at the bed)

ccc (14:17:46 9/06/2011)
I would go crazy!! to

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №48724
 10.06.2011
The exam in Russian. Before the exam decided to bump to calm down, drank on soda, and on a glass on the edge, you know such a sugar powder bump.
I sit behind the bar, scratch something, the supervisor approaches me, bends and so quietly speaks.
You would not burn.
In shock, which of the sparrows did he notice?
What is the problem?
"supervisor", not embarrassing: you have cocaine on your nose.
And went further...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №48723
 10.06.2011
Even when you think life is over and you’re going to hang yourself, you still don’t turn off the torrent.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №48722
 10.06.2011
From the discussion "Which girls are more sexy - bald or hairy?"

Natasha Maluta
with hair

Daria Sorokina
well well

Natasha Maluta
Although it has a lot of benefits.)

Faith of September
Especially in summer

Sergey Potemkin
Easy to wear)

Daria Sorokina
There is no peeling.

Daria Sorokina
No need to scratch.

Daria Sorokina
and a dog.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №48721
 10.06.2011
My son, get up!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I say, get up, you are late.
All I get up...
(within 10 minutes)
I say get up! You are late!!! to
My first job is physical culture.
What a physical culture! You have an exam! Raise your ass!! to
Oh thou shrink!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №48720
 10.06.2011
I recently left my parents. SMS correspondence

Mother: How are you?
I am pale and hungry.
Mother: Rubena and Pelimeni

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №48719
 10.06.2011
The point of a park with a wreath is not to follow one another, that there is strength. The wreath is not a tool for torture.

and Wikipedia.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №48718
 10.06.2011
The Rabbit! You are so wonderful to me! I’ve probably done something very good...or I’ll do it, since I’ve been sent such a treasure from above!
No to the rabbit. I am doing my sins.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №48717
 10.06.2011
Where is the finch under the eye?
I was in the tram in the morning, and a girl was standing in front of me. She wrote on the pop "Touch this!"Hule, touched.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №48716
 10.06.2011
....(11:03:54 9/06/2011):
My girlfriend came drunk yesterday.
....(11:04:07 9/06/2011):
She has such a funny voice when she’s drunk.
....(11:04:31 9/06/2011):
from the threshold says: "behaved well, didn't suck and didn't fuck", I barely fell from the bed.)

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №48715
 10.06.2011
A friend calls at 2 p.m. and says:
“Andrew, I just called, what kind of idiot do you need to be to call a man at 2 p.m.?! to

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №48714
 10.06.2011
This cream knows the secret of eternal youth!! to
XXX: But he won’t tell you. Because of. He is. The cream :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna