From an interview with the server:
In Costa Rica, many surfers suffered from crocodiles, and by foolishness: for example, they crossed the river in the wrong place.

And we are rarely even fined for moving in the wrong place.

Tagged with: wings

If the Earth is flat, is Nibiru also flat?

That is great, gentlemen. It’s so beautiful that I just don’t have words.

A smart home could have a video blog to make money on YouTube – but it’s more profitable to add home videos to porn.

KNS
I have a client, the owner of a small printing company. He is out of vacation today, comes into our office, laughs. The point is this: one and a half years ago, they gave him a beautiful large stake, he placed it on the receipt of orders and glued on it the explanation: "To the Tea Operator." During this time, none of the clients put a penny there. And here, while the owner of the printing room was on vacation, the operator changed the explanation to: "The operator for all kinds of inappropriate needs," and in two weeks the treasury filled to the edges.

I wanted to come up with a clever conclusion, but I couldn’t.

But there was a toast: "So let’s drink for literate marketing!"

A middle-aged (third-grade) calls from school: Mom, I got five with a minus for a verse! But I corrected the minus to the plus... I say you, it can’t! Why is? - Well, it's a lie, and for lying you are punished... - You're going to punish me for a fifth?

A fairy tale city, a dream city... Of course, it’s not about Tobolsk. Tobolsk is a city-fortress, a city of exiles and criminals, a city of contrasts. The spiritual capital, speaking matte from early childhood; the city of copnics and decembrists. There, on the central cemetery, their graves are side by side: Kühelbeker, Baryatinsky, and local "brothers". The city, in which the first stone Kremlin after the Urals was built - and still one of the most beautiful and majestic structures of its kind, and in which today the last groves are cut, in order to build another commercial structure of the sarai type.

Lyubov: I know what the devil feels when the fairies get caught up in the channels of sinners.
Lyubov is angry. Anger that everything does not fit, anger that something has fallen out and has to go up and back in the chin to shake, and it does not climb and still do not let the devil resist (((
Lyubov: It’s angry that they’re very doheric, but there’s no more room, so get all together!
Lyubov: I put soft toys in the box and cleaned the upper shelf with a horned stick.

"Markobes" is not a mistake in the word "Markobes". This is another name for brands.

Tired of being fat and ugly?
Just be ugly.
The Fitness!

Xxx: My friends have a superpower: to call or come to visit me when I start shaking.
Zzz: Just when you don’t call, you’re shaking all the time.

And no one is angry with me, I’m crazy about all of you, unknown pixels on the screen.

My Uncle Fedor.

This is where the eternal mistakes come from, which on the comic story of the girl, accidentally falling asleep and not switching off the alarm, do not laugh, but write angry replies? What did they forget here?

Themur enters the living room and sees that the new guest is already dining there.
Hi to you. I am the master. Where are you from us?
From Izhevsk
And this where?
The man suddenly nodded and instead of a geographical answer said:
This is the homeland of the Kalashnikov machine.
Themur looked at him and said:
A bad place.
and went out

A. K. will not provide you with any independent thinking. It gives attention and quick understanding, but it is not associated with erudition or wisdom in itself (although it facilitates in part their acquisition if a person takes to acquire). You can virtuously click all the tasks, but at the same time still drag the last bubble in the MMM. You can be a great specialist in your path, but at the same time to give pearls of the type of "the Virgin Mary was fertilized with extraterrestrial biomaterial brought by the pigeon."

There are 24 hour shops! Because of them not to go to the neighbor for salt at night.

We approach with a shopping cart to the line to the supermarket box office. There is an 8-year-old girl with a car, too, we are behind her. It is her turn to make purchases on the carrier, we understand that without her parents she will not do it, but we still clarify - you will or we will go, which she said would wait for her mom. Well, okay, we passed and already the cashier is breaking through our shopping, mommy is flying and begins to scream - no, not on us that we are such fools have gone by the child, and on the daughter - why did you miss it, I left you for something. The child with tears in his eyes says - and how would I pay without money. We mommy explain that nothing terrible happened, we asked the girl, she said that she will wait for mommy, we are already counting, everything is perfect. So why vaccinate a child with this phobia? And the unpleasant precipitation remained, as if we were the cause that now this girl will feel fear, remaining in line without adults.

The case was 10 years ago. I just got married, and after a while, I was asked to help bring the linoleum to my wife’s grandmother’s apartment.

Well, I didn't agree, so I also called him to bed and twist his new clothes, so that she't wait for the maid until the weekend.

Apartment in the 9th floor panel house. The room is small, I pretended to do it for 2 hours maximum.

I brought linoleum and plinth.

There was no heavy furniture in the room. Everything was prepared.

Grandma sent to her daughter not to listen to the perforator, and boycotted the job.

He removed the old wooden plants, removed the old, laid a new linoleum. He pierced a bunch of holes in the wall with his father’s powerful perforator, and twisted new plints.

Satisfied waiting for the hostess, I bring her into the room, I say, "Accept the job!"

She liked everything.

Go to drink tea.

I once again look out of the hallway into the room and notice one strange thing that never came to my mind before.

Where are your batteries? I am asking.

They are in the walls. My grandmother from the kitchen answered.

How about the walls?

- Yes, the pipes straight in the walls are murdered from top to bottom.

I woke up! I have never heard that in my life. I had a sweat.

The matter was in the summer and even if I broke the pipe with a perforator, I could not immediately find out.

There will be a big surprise in October.

I tried to find out where the pipes were going. She did not know.



The bullet flew to Jek.

I started asking if there could be a plan for these tubes. The technician said it was their eternal problem. In one of the apartments a pipe flowed, the wall was crushed to cook. And where the pipes, you can only find when heating will give and they will be hot. They even tried the device somehow, but inefficiently.

I only have to wait and be afraid.

I told her everything when she came back from work. His answer was brilliant: "There were marks on the old plints where the pipes passed."

I had the time to throw those plates out.

There was a weak hope that by drilling on concrete I would not be able to break through the iron pipe, but I did not believe it.

As a result, I walked with this stone in the shower for 4 months, and when the test heating was allowed, I sat all day in this apartment, praying to all the gods that nothing would flow.

It all happened. I made new marks on the plinths and went to mark this case with a light soul.

I called Uber today. I come and sit.

The driver asks:

Does music hinder?

No – I say.

Okay, he answered

and smoked.

Yesterday I went out on the balcony and near the neighboring entrance saw an inscription on the asphalt.
Dear, smile to the new day!
p.s
Tagged with"
I was very angry, p.s. Post script after the letter, not the signature.
He felt like Sheldon who said the most horrible thing on the wall "Dear Sheldon!That"s what was not there...

- Volodya, - I report darkly, - I sat on a diet.
Why so sad? My husband responds sympathetically. Has it spread?
- Goat, - I bump and slide into the kitchen to cook a magical shrimp.
After 10 minutes, the man begins to smell anxiously.
and yes! I speak with challenge. I’m on a diet and I’ll eat it.
— Wait, — Voldemort waved, not ceasing to shake his nose. The same smell... mmm...
He blissfully falls down in the chair.
What is? I ask confidently. You like it, right?
I never thought I could have anything in common with a person who likes the smell of cooked celery. They can be tortured if the international convention has not yet prohibited them. By the smell, it must have been.
"You know," continues the husband, covering his eyes from pleasure, "when I was a kid, I was sent to my grandmother in the village for the summer. It smelled the same when she was cooking.
I swim in a smile, and he continues:
- She kept pigs and twice a day, she bragged them such a shit... One in one smells, direct nostalgia...
I stood and he opened his eyes and said enthusiastically:
Do you know what kind of pigs grow up?
and roar.
So how to live?