I got married early at 21. On a very good girl, but after some time began to live with her somehow not very, then a son was born, and living with her became worse.
I drank endlessly on various occasions, and often without a reason.
"Look, Yulia's husband drives her three times a year abroad, and we only once were in Egypt.
- Natashkin's husband gave her a jeep, and you just bought me a fiesta.
- That you are constantly working, you are going to be at home, you need to spend more time with me.
I thought about divorce as if it was out of place. That would be good, of course, but it is all in some way. What people will think, the son is small again. How do I give up. The apartment and other properties are already in use.
Then I started having pressure. Specifically such a joke. And six years ago I went to the hospital, and I was hanged a device there to measure pulse, pressure and so on over the course of the day. And when I gave this device, the next day the doctor invited me to a conversation:
Meet me, this is my psychiatrist.
I am not crazy, I smiled.
“We are all a kind of psychic,” said the psychologist.
Did you have a scandal at home yesterday?
It’s okay, but why are you asking?
"Well, look, in the morning you went to work, the pressure and pulse is fine, and at 6 o'clock you went home?
- Yes
And it started. Look at the schedule. Pulse slaps, tachycardia, pressure 180/120 and so on to the night.
Then I told him everything. That I don’t want to go home because there’s a depressing atmosphere, that I’m the first volunteer for long journeys, that I prefer to go out to the production with a overnight stay to watch the tech process, though it’s not my turn. Because I am well there, and my home is bad.
He listened, left me and said:
I will be brief. If you want to live, you have to decide something for yourself. You either get divorced or you die. I am not joking. I will not advise you to go to a family psychologist and all that. Too many years you’ve been married, 14 years is not a joke. My advice to you, as a man to a man, and as a doctor to a patient. and divorce.
It caught me very well. He walked to the car like a lost man. There was no courage to divorce. I thought, I thought, I didn’t invent anything, because the tuffak is not brave in this regard. Even the thoughts were like this: it would be great if she had changed me, and then I would have accused her and divorced in full law. Tom is such a nonsense. But I did not have the courage to come and say. Well, I thought that this is my karma, and I will continue to live, and the doctor may be wrong and generally tolerate - fall in love and all that. It was so until a moment.
I bought furniture for a new apartment. There was a bunch of cardboard left in the corridor. I wanted to throw it out, but the wife said that her brother would come and take what was there in the garage to bed on the roof. This card is for a week. On Monday I have a plan, a meeting. The call, wife
I feel uncomfortable calling again.
What a meeting, listen to me!! When will you clean your card? Twenty times I told you, I just fell through it, broke my nail, you are a man or not, how much to endure?
I turned off the phone, something inside me seemed to be broken. I apologized and said I had to leave immediately. He sat in the car, came home, went to the bedroom, collected trousers, socks in the sports bag, put carabines in the blankets, took them into the car. He returned, took his jacket, more things, and took it back into the car. I returned and said that I would not live with her anymore and divorce. He left and did not return.
That night I slept on the office sofa. Then I rented the apartment, there was a week of depression, I was released from work, nobody touched me. Then he began to live slowly. After a while I realized I was alive. Fuck, I don’t exist, I live a full life! I have a great job, great prospects, I am still young, I am only 36, I am strong and healthy, I no longer have a headache! Let it go! I am living!
Then I started living with a good girl and bought a house. She lived with her in a new house. And what’s interesting: I don’t like traveling anymore, I don’t want to stay after work to work anymore, I want to go home. Home is the place where I feel comfortable and comfortable. Where there is a good person I want to come to soon. I stopped being afraid of my home, I became interested in living.
And once an adult already my son told me in secret:
Dad, that is the case. I don’t know how to tell you, but I must. It may not be right, but I respect your wife more than my mother.
I am an officer. And he asked him:
Why is that so, son?
I do not know. I think she loves me. And you too. She will never go with us. rightly?
It is true, son...
Do not be afraid to change your life. She is alone with us. If you don’t want to live your whole life with a person who “kills” you, divorce, it’s not at all painful.