bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146373
 11.11.2017
I love such kind uncles (these are usually uncles or unchildren) who royally allow your child not to obey you. Yes, my mom says, wash your hands, then don’t sweat, then wear a hat. A bad and bad mother. The good man allows everything.
He also believed that a child at 10 years old should already be able not to crack or get rid of himself, and he would not have to rub a big pig every day. The main thing is to shine on the backdrop of the chicken-mamachi.
Uncle's house can be pigs, he cleans everything after you. Why not at home? Why doesn’t my mom want to do that?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146372
 11.11.2017
Olives without bones are almost olive filets.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146371
 11.11.2017
Two pairs of eyes look at me. Young people - with the enthusiasm of the winner, adults - with the broken pattern...

I don’t want to disappoint you, man. But the young eyes looked at you with the thought "wow, you can rubbish and you will be picked up - all as in 4 years". And adults - with the thought of how the mimicrocodiles interfered in the educational process. Because you are no different from the grandmothers who chew chocolate to a two-year-old allergic - eat, little, until the mom sees. I have invented a diet!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146370
 11.11.2017
Vaslobas
It was an unlimited yota. Why didn’t they go over at their time? Great option too.
Wicked

Because I don’t live where there was an unlimited Yota. Russia is not limited to Moscow and Peter.

Exciter

Even in our Barnaul there was an unlimited Yota.
Siziyman
Russia is not limited to Moscow, Peter and Barnaul.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №146369
 11.11.2017
Laklo is a medium species, one "blue" cat's tongue during laughter. I give a tooth. This was my quote)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146368
 11.11.2017
On his birthday, many grandmothers wished him, and he became the director of the nursing house.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146367
 11.11.2017
Anna Schneider
I put order on the shelves above the bed. In order not to get bored, I put on music. As usual, she sang quietly. I played my favorite song, I unnoticedly added the volume in the voice. Here jumped my elderly, who before that restlessly slept and began to mock. Complain, so, with the question, said the mistress, what happened? You are bad? Can I help you? I do not sing with cats anymore.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146366
 11.11.2017
To the question of the sanctification of the saint for torture:
It is especially unfair that the martyrdom of a group of comrades, the saint, was given to the only one guilty among them. I don’t remember anything to call Dr. Botkin a saint. Even the former Tsarevich, an innocent painful boy, was bypassed.
It is very similar to how the Nobel Peace Prize is given today – you need something special, such as the creation of Igil.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №146365
 11.11.2017
I am a mouse, and I fucking your strawberries. In other words, fuck her. I ran for your bread. Sals on your salt. He scratched on spices, slept on cream cakes, slandered your wives, sold shit to your children, wasted your money, stole and smashed your cars, burned your houses and occupied your jobs.
And seriously, I lied about jobs. I live from theft and sometimes I get benefits. Here are the white mice.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146364
 11.11.2017
The service center. Among other things, we repair TVs. Matrices on TVs come in boxes wrapped along the perimeter in such long and thick bits. I am passing through a box with a matrix today. I got a puddle, puddled. I stand and embrace. Suits Sanya: -"what, soft?" I am him: -"deficit of hugs in the body". Sanya takes another bag out of the box, hugs: -"nu da..."
stood
Carina comes in. There are two men standing, hugging the beads.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146363
 11.11.2017
The Mouse

That’s what you’ve caught up with mice? And the fact that “Absolute alcohol is the urine of yeast bacteria,” you know? The gas in the champagne is their pear. If not, you are waiting for a lot of fascinating revelations about bacterial defecation in Mr. J.’s lectures.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №146362
 11.11.2017
> People with "thin mental organization" life in our world is contraindicated.

I have always suspected that the world is full of people who think that I personally should die. Not to ruin the picture of the world.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146361
 11.11.2017

So He lived alone, and was in his apartment clean without much effort. She lived in the neighboring apartment, and it was just as clean with her, and she spent about as little effort on it. And then they started living together andining cleanliness without titanic efforts became simply impossible... magic, no other way :)

Now take care of your hands.
He and she lived. They came home mostly to sleep, smelled all day, ate at work, spent the weekend with friends outside. not stumbled. And then they became a couple and want to spend free time at home, together. The house becomes dirty and needs to be cleaned. And then there are cats and they do not clean themselves. It takes more time to clean up. This is what the man you suspect in witchcraft has written about.
Probably the reason for such statements, as in medieval illiteracy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146360
 11.11.2017
The authorities of Saudi Arabia created a “Women’s Rights Council,” but women were not called into it.
WOW: Well, as in an animal rights organization, there are no animals either.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146359
 11.11.2017
Today, at the mail in Pushkin, a aunt (simple as three pennies) tried long and boring to find out at the operator where her parcel was, which she sent, for a moment, from Sergiev Posad to Arkhangelsk. There is no cheque. Track number is unknown.
In order to break through the promised window as soon as possible, I advise the missing aunt to leave the operator alone and go down to the neighboring entrance, where the top post office is sitting.
My aunt was half sick.
After five minutes she came back because... she didn’t find the neighboring entrance! Not a secret door, not a slope behind a drawn fireplace, but a huge door with no less a huge staircase!
She left the office with the words "Russia is a country of idiots". At that point she was not opposed.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146358
 11.11.2017
xxx: went to the store and forgot to put the book on the pause x)))
YYY: Oh yeah
YYY: In my time, the book was automatically put on pause.
yyy: Put the book, put it in the backpack - all, book on pause %)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146357
 11.11.2017
> Google, you have taken me!
> Google, get it done!

And I have questions about almost all browsers and their writers.
Don’t take the focus of the input out of the field I’m already printing in. The fact that the page is a little more loaded does not make the continuation of printing there somehow "dangerous", you don't have to catch my hands because of this.
But when at the time of the click the page has time to re-load / upgrade and have time to push a completely different link there, it can already be filled. Just take the coordinates of the element that was under the cursor at the time of redrawing and change the global scroll of the page so that they remain constant. The whole picture is shattered, except for pressing. If the page is not scrollable, just don’t take clicks somewhere for 0.3 seconds.
Everything is so simple, but it doesn't eat, we will do all the beautiful shit, and elementary convenience and safety is too difficult for us. Eat as your divides work. Only the spoon was stretched, ripped by the magnet to the table, not placed, you see, the steam is still going, the content has not stabilized. You're trying to take a sandwich, and there, on the contrary, a whistle and at the last moment, instead of it, a pleasant appears, and he's just off the side now - oh, we've got CSS loaded. As we washed our hands, everything dropped down and let’s start.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146356
 11.11.2017
and OK.
have recorded.
The “Laclo” (fr. R is - one pale cat's tongue in the process of lacking.
One is bleak.
Thank you man.
You make this sad place beautiful.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146355
 11.11.2017
I cooked her pasta with mayonnaise shrimp. And it turned out to be pasta with seafood and teriaki sauce. and all. I am the enemy of the people.
How did you do that? 😉
I’m not a mosquito, how did I know?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146354
 11.11.2017
here here :

I knew my aunt personally, who was happy that his son brought home not a mercantile idiot but a cute, intelligent boy. A terrible woman, yes.

Probably judged by itself. Here she would have had a break of the pattern with a loud crack, if the brought boy and turned out to be a mercantile fool.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna