I went to Ikea with my wife on Saturday.

Lots of people on weekends.

So what, at home?

Yes, you only have to go to the toilet.

Go to parking.

Why is the line in the women’s toilet always like this? How long did you wait for me?

I: A minute of ten.

Why do men go to the toilet faster?

I: Per because every woman in the queue, locked in the cabin, thinks, “Let these dolls wait until I slowly and relentlessly do my business!” Probably that is why.

Wife: (thinking for a moment) But I think so when I enter the cabin...

On YouTube, the film “Moscow does not believe in tears” is split into two files. in the series. They are made, of course, in one day.

And the first series has 8 500 000 views, and the second - 5 500 000.



That is, somewhere there are three million people who are like, ‘Ah, clearly, understandably. The grandmother gave birth in the dormitory and went to bed. A normal movie.”

I once installed an MPU (printer, copier, scanner...) in one office.

A boy of twelve years runs from the threshold to his aunt-secretary:

and grandmother! I got a fifth in English today. Will you buy me a plan for that?

and Grandma:

of course. After work we go shopping.



Something was offensive...

I go out and call my mom:

-Mom, here the boy bought a tablet for the current fifth in school. What do I need for red diplomas and candidate degrees?

Lack of backbone!

Recently, I heard from a friend a story that always, when I remember her, raises my mood, and something inside me is disgusting. At the age of 40, his father had encephalitis, which, unfortunately, significantly affected his mental abilities and adequacy in general. The family did not leave him in trouble, they are cared for and are not allowed to shut up in themselves, all relatives and friends treat his outings with humor and even gathered a peculiar collection of his pearls. There was a signal from aliens caught in the yard with a foil device and turned on gas in the apartment, which is not so fun. Since you can't say immediately about him that something is wrong with him, some dishonest personalities sometimes used, as they seemed, the "sickness" of a simple man. Mostly sellers or advertisers. Often unnecessary services were stunned, for example, replacing the seal in all frames in windows for 14,000 according to the infamous pensioner divorce scheme. Recently there was revenge. As they say, instantaneous karma, and suffering guys, I understand, will be for all of their predecessors.

In fact, the story itself: Grandfather came to the cellular communication salon, which exactly office - not even specified, because she was pressured by laughter - and stated that he needed a smartphone. The sellers drove him a Samsung Galaxy somewhere there for 12,000, to him a chick and, attention! VIP client service separately for 7 000 total. What gives this upgrade-our grandfather can at least every day come to them in the salon and without a turn with a personal manager all day to find out how to use the smartphone and the services of the operator. The VIP client. And our grandfather terribly loves to find out everything, unbelievably sluggish and periodically gliding into philosophical reasoning about politics and history, as well as about his personal life and his whole family. Well you already understood that neither wife nor daughter did not even go to understand, why obviously a sick person (this can be seen in close communication) coupled this service, now it is for them something like an attraction for grandfather, you can not worry where he went again and what busy-everyone knows that he is there clarifies at 3 hours in a row)))) But the whole family is very zealous to ensure that employees in any case do not refuse the VIP client in proper service)))

If we don’t want to go all the time on the robberies, we have to take the villas sometimes.

I live in a private house, 2 floors (this is important).
I’m having a birthday and I’m constantly calling for congratulations. He went up to the 2nd floor and left his phone there. In the kitchen all in the process of cooking, cooking, roasting. The cat is sitting on the stairs, watching me. Suddenly I hear her whisper, not just a whisper, but a real whisper. I look, she sits quietly and just roar, I approach her and I hear the phone call. That’s how she warned me of a call I didn’t hear.
They understand everything, but sometimes we can’t understand them.

And what if the men who walk around the city in camouflage shape, just hunt for the lady in leopard loins?

We sat yesterday with our daughter in the lobby of a small private medical center, waiting for our mother. The foyer plays the role of a reception room, there is a reception with a check-in and sofas, on which other waiters are located, among which a married couple, I thought, aged between 40 and 50 about. For a few minutes they sat down and talked quietly, after which the lady got up and approached the reception, where there was a woman working in the registry, a procedural nurse and a doctor. A visitor speaks to all three:

Sorry please. I got drunk yesterday, can you help?

The doctor looked at her over her glasses:

Of course bring it.

The visitor, sadly laying his hands on the reception and laying his head on them:

This is I...

The mood of the people in the room improved noticeably, especially the husband of the visitor.

Do you want a capsule? Asked the nurse.

Yes if you can.

Go to))